Beach house extended family vacation- why do women spend 80% of their time in the kitchen?

[Anonymous]

Cereal for breakfast? How the 1980s!

[Anonymous]

Some people enjoy cooking. I am one of those people. But, I would not spend my time on the beach vacation cooking, nor did I do it. I want to spend time on the beach, not be cooking and cleaning.
Patriarchy, at its' best, is when women want to do it to please the men and be super moms to other women!
However, op, your comment about cereal and such makes me think you might be a bit envious of their cooking skills?
WHich you shouldn't be at all, antiquated standards that are oppressive to women around the world.

[Anonymous]

Be sure 80% of them never stop eating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny, in our beach house the biggest cooking fuss is made by the men when they decide to grill.

First there's the Cleaning of the Grill. This takes hours.

Then the debate over which type of charcoal to buy and whether to shove it all to one side and put in a pan of water...

And don't get me started on the marinating.....

LOL

OMG! The same by men in my family, back in Europe! My cousin built a BBQ, built a pizza oven, not for pizza for those meats that you want slowly cooking, etc.
However, the brunt of the BBQ prep and all that still falls on the women!
"give me a cast iron pot, no you can't ever use it for your cooking, this is for the BBQ meat." Where is the basting brush, where are my BBQ fancy-schmancy utensils, did you throw away the logs I had here..."
Men making BBQ dinner...still means women falling off their feet back home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder though if OP did as people suggest and just go out with the kids and DHs, would the women in the kitchen see her in a bad light?

I also don't want to spend that much time in the kitchen on vacation. We do a lot of pre-prepared meals.

Yeah, I think the real crux of the matter is whether they would get upset if OP didn't want to participate. Like, if you really enjoy cooking, and want to spend your vacation cooking and doing dishes, great -- but OP doesn't. Can she get out of it? She doesn't get to choose the meals; is she expected to help cook them anyway?

Personally, I like some cooking on vacation, but not every meal. Lunches are definitely quick and easy sandwiches or leftovers. Breakfasts are usually cereal or scrambled eggs or something like that. If there is an elaborate meal, it's likely to be dinner, but not every night.

Yep. Tying you down to the kitchen, disallowing you to do what you want to do, let's be honest here, this is some women competing with women to make themselves miserable in the aim of some perfect little Betty Crocker.
OP is likely already the talk of these Stepford shrews, and if she just stopped helping? Crucified!

[Anonymous]

My mom, born in 1947, in former Yugoslavia, always insisted on full board beach and mountain vacations.
I woman out of her time, still runs her company back home. This is why!
My uncle insisted on some camping BS vacations for a month, and my aunt, who worked full time, was exhausted every single time.
You should insist on ALL Inclusive vacations from now on, op!

[Anonymous]

You can do what you want OP but if you sign up for breakfast, it can’t just be cereal. I would be a monster by 10am. Meals can be really fast but they need carbs, protein, fat and a fruit or vegetable (I guess cereal with whole milk and berries might be okay but I’m not sure that’s enough). It could be waffles with peanut butter and fruit. Bagels with cream cheese and tomato. Just as fast.

My DH cooks some at the beach and we buy a lot of prepared lunches but the nature of a house vacation is that the house work exists. How other people choose to do it isn’t really your problem.

[Anonymous]

There is a place at our beach that does carry out casseroles, lasagnas, and that sort of thing. It’s great to feed a crowd quickly.

[Anonymous]

Some women enjoy that sort of thing like some women think it's fun to get manicures and pedicures. If it's not your thing it's not your thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people enjoy cooking. I am one of those people. But, I would not spend my time on the beach vacation cooking, nor did I do it. I want to spend time on the beach, not be cooking and cleaning.
Patriarchy, at its' best, is when women want to do it to please the men and be super moms to other women!
However, op, your comment about cereal and such makes me think you might be a bit envious of their cooking skills?
WHich you shouldn't be at all, antiquated standards that are oppressive to women around the world.

Another poster who fails to grasp:
1) Not all of us cook and clean. If I cook, DH or my ILs clean. And vice versa.
2) While some of us like the beach, we don’t want to be out all damn day! After a few hours, I’m ready for air conditioning and a shower.
3) There is plenty of work to do on a beach house vacation that isn’t cooking. I’d rather cook than clean, take out trash/recycling, run loads of towels, leave to pick up groceries and takeout.
4) Introverts live cooking so we can avoid constant talking and togetherness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a place at our beach that does carry out casseroles, lasagnas, and that sort of thing. It’s great to feed a crowd quickly.

Who eats casserole on the beach? Yuck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That isn't a vacation. Some women enjoy cooking and consider this time bonding but for me this would be a chore and work. It is ridiculous that you are in the kitchen on a nice sunny day and not enjoying the beach. I would do it for one meal, say dinner and forget the rest.

If they want to work through their vacation so be it, I would refuse, its sounds exhausting.

Baking out in the sun all damn day and talking to you is exhausting. The kitchen is my break, and the person who cooks does not clean. I enjoy my audiobook while I cook, and wine on the deck while you clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a place at our beach that does carry out casseroles, lasagnas, and that sort of thing. It’s great to feed a crowd quickly.

Who eats casserole on the beach? Yuck!

Think before you post girl! Try again after your coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people enjoy cooking. I am one of those people. But, I would not spend my time on the beach vacation cooking, nor did I do it. I want to spend time on the beach, not be cooking and cleaning.
Patriarchy, at its' best, is when women want to do it to please the men and be super moms to other women!
However, op, your comment about cereal and such makes me think you might be a bit envious of their cooking skills?
WHich you shouldn't be at all, antiquated standards that are oppressive to women around the world.

Another poster who fails to grasp:
1) Not all of us cook and clean. If I cook, DH or my ILs clean. And vice versa.
2) While some of us like the beach, we don’t want to be out all damn day! After a few hours, I’m ready for air conditioning and a shower.
3) There is plenty of work to do on a beach house vacation that isn’t cooking. I’d rather cook than clean, take out trash/recycling, run loads of towels, leave to pick up groceries and takeout.
4) Introverts live cooking so we can avoid constant talking and togetherness.

I am not the one that is failing to grasp anything. You, however, seem to think that it is ok for OP's female relative to impose their preference on her. Nobody cares that you don't want to be on the beach all day or that you want to cook. OP doesn't care either. She does care that they are expecting HER to do what they like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people enjoy cooking. I am one of those people. But, I would not spend my time on the beach vacation cooking, nor did I do it. I want to spend time on the beach, not be cooking and cleaning.
Patriarchy, at its' best, is when women want to do it to please the men and be super moms to other women!
However, op, your comment about cereal and such makes me think you might be a bit envious of their cooking skills?
WHich you shouldn't be at all, antiquated standards that are oppressive to women around the world.

Another poster who fails to grasp:
1) Not all of us cook and clean. If I cook, DH or my ILs clean. And vice versa.
2) While some of us like the beach, we don’t want to be out all damn day! After a few hours, I’m ready for air conditioning and a shower.
3) There is plenty of work to do on a beach house vacation that isn’t cooking. I’d rather cook than clean, take out trash/recycling, run loads of towels, leave to pick up groceries and takeout.
4) Introverts live cooking so we can avoid constant talking and togetherness.

I am not the one that is failing to grasp anything. You, however, seem to think that it is ok for OP's female relative to impose their preference on her. Nobody cares that you don't want to be on the beach all day or that you want to cook. OP doesn't care either. She does care that they are expecting HER to do what they like.

OP never says her help is required. Even her husband tells her to skip it. OPs problem is that she doesn’t understand people who are different from her. She’s one of those types who sees herself as one of the guys, a real guy’s girl, and kitchen work is beneath her. Even though her in-laws seem to like it and don’t care if she is there or not.