Parents of (partially) Asian kids - are you worried about anti-Asian bullying/harassment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a teacher in FCPS and I never saw any anti-Asian bigotry and I haven't as a parent either. Other prejudices, yes - racism against black and brown people, anti-semitism occasionally, anti-Muslim, but not anti-Asian, unless you count the stupid "where are you from" comments that ignorant people sometimes make.

Then you never sat in the IEP meeting with an Indian family that had a kid with learning disabilities and the school suggested that the parent just step up and do more at home and hire a tutor while continuing to deny services to their child.

Honestly, though, I don't think that was due to the child's race.

You think they would have told a Black or Hispanic family with documented evidence that the child is 2 grades behind and had failed every SOL for the past 3 years to get a tutor and deny services?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a teacher in FCPS and I never saw any anti-Asian bigotry and I haven't as a parent either. Other prejudices, yes - racism against black and brown people, anti-semitism occasionally, anti-Muslim, but not anti-Asian, unless you count the stupid "where are you from" comments that ignorant people sometimes make.

Then you never sat in the IEP meeting with an Indian family that had a kid with learning disabilities and the school suggested that the parent just step up and do more at home and hire a tutor while continuing to deny services to their child.

Honestly, though, I don't think that was due to the child's race.

You think they would have told a Black or Hispanic family with documented evidence that the child is 2 grades behind and had failed every SOL for the past 3 years to get a tutor and deny services?

Yes? If the family's 'documented evidence' didn't meet the standards for whatever services you were trying to wring out of them. Teachers and administrators are well aware of parents efforts to reclassify their kids in order to get as many advantages as possible even if the 'problem' is that the kid is just average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a teacher in FCPS and I never saw any anti-Asian bigotry and I haven't as a parent either. Other prejudices, yes - racism against black and brown people, anti-semitism occasionally, anti-Muslim, but not anti-Asian, unless you count the stupid "where are you from" comments that ignorant people sometimes make.

Then you never sat in the IEP meeting with an Indian family that had a kid with learning disabilities and the school suggested that the parent just step up and do more at home and hire a tutor while continuing to deny services to their child.

Honestly, though, I don't think that was due to the child's race.

You think they would have told a Black or Hispanic family with documented evidence that the child is 2 grades behind and had failed every SOL for the past 3 years to get a tutor and deny services?

I was told that as a Black parent. They even tested my kid and and swore there were no signs of any LD. I got a 2nd and 3rd opinion who both found red flags of LD’s. This Principal did everything in her power to deny my kid services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a teacher in FCPS and I never saw any anti-Asian bigotry and I haven't as a parent either. Other prejudices, yes - racism against black and brown people, anti-semitism occasionally, anti-Muslim, but not anti-Asian, unless you count the stupid "where are you from" comments that ignorant people sometimes make.

Then you never sat in the IEP meeting with an Indian family that had a kid with learning disabilities and the school suggested that the parent just step up and do more at home and hire a tutor while continuing to deny services to their child.

Honestly, though, I don't think that was due to the child's race.

You think they would have told a Black or Hispanic family with documented evidence that the child is 2 grades behind and had failed every SOL for the past 3 years to get a tutor and deny services?

Yes? If the family's 'documented evidence' didn't meet the standards for whatever services you were trying to wring out of them. Teachers and administrators are well aware of parents efforts to reclassify their kids in order to get as many advantages as possible even if the 'problem' is that the kid is just average.

Nice. So now it's the Asian family trying to "wring" "advantages" out of the school.

Thank you for making my point glaringly clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a teacher in FCPS and I never saw any anti-Asian bigotry and I haven't as a parent either. Other prejudices, yes - racism against black and brown people, anti-semitism occasionally, anti-Muslim, but not anti-Asian, unless you count the stupid "where are you from" comments that ignorant people sometimes make.

Then you never sat in the IEP meeting with an Indian family that had a kid with learning disabilities and the school suggested that the parent just step up and do more at home and hire a tutor while continuing to deny services to their child.

Honestly, though, I don't think that was due to the child's race.

You think they would have told a Black or Hispanic family with documented evidence that the child is 2 grades behind and had failed every SOL for the past 3 years to get a tutor and deny services?

Yes? If the family's 'documented evidence' didn't meet the standards for whatever services you were trying to wring out of them. Teachers and administrators are well aware of parents efforts to reclassify their kids in order to get as many advantages as possible even if the 'problem' is that the kid is just average.

Nice. So now it's the Asian family trying to "wring" "advantages" out of the school.

Thank you for making my point glaringly clear.

Did you read the black parent's testimony above? Exact same thing. And you made your point very clear when you singled out black and hispanic families.

- signed someone who knew a white family who got their kid reclassify all the way up through undergrad so they could take every single test at home with extra time

[Anonymous]

Then you never sat in the IEP meeting with an Indian family that had a kid with learning disabilities and the school suggested that the parent just step up and do more at home and hire a tutor while continuing to deny services to their child.


Honestly, though, I don't think that was due to the child's race.

Agree. I know plenty of white parents who have tried to get IEPs when, honestly, I think their children are just average.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the school. There are some white and black kids who mocked my half-asian dd in 1-2nd grade. I didn't realize it was happening until later. They were doing the eye-pulling thing. This was in a title I school - we have since moved. To deny this type of racism exists is awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a teacher in FCPS and I never saw any anti-Asian bigotry and I haven't as a parent either. Other prejudices, yes - racism against black and brown people, anti-semitism occasionally, anti-Muslim, but not anti-Asian, unless you count the stupid "where are you from" comments that ignorant people sometimes make.

I am a parent of Asian children and they are certainly getting teased about their eye shape, skin color, and supposedly eating cats and dogs.
This doesn’t happen in front of the teacher. It still happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a teacher in FCPS and I never saw any anti-Asian bigotry and I haven't as a parent either. Other prejudices, yes - racism against black and brown people, anti-semitism occasionally, anti-Muslim, but not anti-Asian, unless you count the stupid "where are you from" comments that ignorant people sometimes make.

Then you never sat in the IEP meeting with an Indian family that had a kid with learning disabilities and the school suggested that the parent just step up and do more at home and hire a tutor while continuing to deny services to their child.

Honestly, though, I don't think that was due to the child's race.

You think they would have told a Black or Hispanic family with documented evidence that the child is 2 grades behind and had failed every SOL for the past 3 years to get a tutor and deny services?

Yes? If the family's 'documented evidence' didn't meet the standards for whatever services you were trying to wring out of them. Teachers and administrators are well aware of parents efforts to reclassify their kids in order to get as many advantages as possible even if the 'problem' is that the kid is just average.

Nice. So now it's the Asian family trying to "wring" "advantages" out of the school.

Thank you for making my point glaringly clear.

Did you read the black parent's testimony above? Exact same thing. And you made your point very clear when you singled out black and hispanic families.

- signed someone who knew a white family who got their kid reclassify all the way up through undergrad so they could take every single test at home with extra time

Was it the same scenario? NO. The Black family testimony was getting the school to acknowledge their child had LDs. Very different scenario. FCPS will always push back on acknowledging LDs. We had already gone down that road, which is why we had outside testing done from multiple sources in the first place.

Our school already knew our kid had LDs. Had her child already failed every SOL for the past 3 years? Our school did testing, we did outside neuropysch testing, we had documentation from a highly regarded developmental pediatrician, and results from a study the NIH did. Each and every one stated he needed services.

Still they suggested my kid just work harder and for us to hire a tutor. Their exact words were "he just needs to work harder".

But yeah, an Indian family with a child that literally cried each day and called himself stupid and couldn't read beyond 2nd grade level in 5th grade, that had been trying to get the school to see his struggles since 1st grade and was still being told that he just needs to work harder is "gaming the system".

F off with your racist stereotypes and your need to tell me we were not being discriminated against.

[Anonymous]

I think the people doing the bullying are adults, not children. And I don't know where you live, but we live in a school district with a 30% Asian population (and much of close in Northern Virginia is similar) so Asian children are not a very tiny minority like when I grew up in the midwest and there were two Asian kids in my entire high school class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the people doing the bullying are adults, not children. And I don't know where you live, but we live in a school district with a 30% Asian population (and much of close in Northern Virginia is similar) so Asian children are not a very tiny minority like when I grew up in the midwest and there were two Asian kids in my entire high school class.

It’s definitely children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a teacher in FCPS and I never saw any anti-Asian bigotry and I haven't as a parent either. Other prejudices, yes - racism against black and brown people, anti-semitism occasionally, anti-Muslim, but not anti-Asian, unless you count the stupid "where are you from" comments that ignorant people sometimes make.

Then you never sat in the IEP meeting with an Indian family that had a kid with learning disabilities and the school suggested that the parent just step up and do more at home and hire a tutor while continuing to deny services to their child.

Honestly, though, I don't think that was due to the child's race.

You think they would have told a Black or Hispanic family with documented evidence that the child is 2 grades behind and had failed every SOL for the past 3 years to get a tutor and deny services?

Yes? If the family's 'documented evidence' didn't meet the standards for whatever services you were trying to wring out of them. Teachers and administrators are well aware of parents efforts to reclassify their kids in order to get as many advantages as possible even if the 'problem' is that the kid is just average.

Nice. So now it's the Asian family trying to "wring" "advantages" out of the school.

Thank you for making my point glaringly clear.

Did you read the black parent's testimony above? Exact same thing. And you made your point very clear when you singled out black and hispanic families.

- signed someone who knew a white family who got their kid reclassify all the way up through undergrad so they could take every single test at home with extra time

Was it the same scenario? NO. The Black family testimony was getting the school to acknowledge their child had LDs. Very different scenario. FCPS will always push back on acknowledging LDs. We had already gone down that road, which is why we had outside testing done from multiple sources in the first place.

Our school already knew our kid had LDs. Had her child already failed every SOL for the past 3 years? Our school did testing, we did outside neuropysch testing, we had documentation from a highly regarded developmental pediatrician, and results from a study the NIH did. Each and every one stated he needed services.

Still they suggested my kid just work harder and for us to hire a tutor. Their exact words were "he just needs to work harder".

But yeah, an Indian family with a child that literally cried each day and called himself stupid and couldn't read beyond 2nd grade level in 5th grade, that had been trying to get the school to see his struggles since 1st grade and was still being told that he just needs to work harder is "gaming the system".

F off with your racist stereotypes and your need to tell me we were not being discriminated against.

I hope you recognize the extreme privilege of casually stating you had your kid NHS tested and then complaining s/he's been under-accommodated in the same breath. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a teacher in FCPS and I never saw any anti-Asian bigotry and I haven't as a parent either. Other prejudices, yes - racism against black and brown people, anti-semitism occasionally, anti-Muslim, but not anti-Asian, unless you count the stupid "where are you from" comments that ignorant people sometimes make.

Then you never sat in the IEP meeting with an Indian family that had a kid with learning disabilities and the school suggested that the parent just step up and do more at home and hire a tutor while continuing to deny services to their child.

Honestly, though, I don't think that was due to the child's race.

You think they would have told a Black or Hispanic family with documented evidence that the child is 2 grades behind and had failed every SOL for the past 3 years to get a tutor and deny services?

Yes? If the family's 'documented evidence' didn't meet the standards for whatever services you were trying to wring out of them. Teachers and administrators are well aware of parents efforts to reclassify their kids in order to get as many advantages as possible even if the 'problem' is that the kid is just average.

Nice. So now it's the Asian family trying to "wring" "advantages" out of the school.

Thank you for making my point glaringly clear.

Did you read the black parent's testimony above? Exact same thing. And you made your point very clear when you singled out black and hispanic families.

- signed someone who knew a white family who got their kid reclassify all the way up through undergrad so they could take every single test at home with extra time

Was it the same scenario? NO. The Black family testimony was getting the school to acknowledge their child had LDs. Very different scenario. FCPS will always push back on acknowledging LDs. We had already gone down that road, which is why we had outside testing done from multiple sources in the first place.

Our school already knew our kid had LDs. Had her child already failed every SOL for the past 3 years? Our school did testing, we did outside neuropysch testing, we had documentation from a highly regarded developmental pediatrician, and results from a study the NIH did. Each and every one stated he needed services.

Still they suggested my kid just work harder and for us to hire a tutor. Their exact words were "he just needs to work harder".

But yeah, an Indian family with a child that literally cried each day and called himself stupid and couldn't read beyond 2nd grade level in 5th grade, that had been trying to get the school to see his struggles since 1st grade and was still being told that he just needs to work harder is "gaming the system".

F off with your racist stereotypes and your need to tell me we were not being discriminated against.

I hope you recognize the extreme privilege of casually stating you had your kid NHS tested and then complaining s/he's been under-accommodated in the same breath. Good luck to you.

Yes, extreme privilege to partake in study that cost us $0.

I hope you're paying attention OP. This is what you will get around here. People telling you that you are making problems up and that you are privileged to have a child with LDs failing public school that people chalk up to "gaming the system".

[Anonymous]

Op here - some of the earlier comments got removed. What happened?

Also, yes, here is an article titled: This is what no one tells you about being Asian in America in 2021.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/asian-hate-crimes-2021-covid_n_602c00e8c5b6c95056f3dd41

With COVID, Asian people in the US are subjected to different kind of discrimination and hate crimes - in Fairfax, minority-owned businesses were burglarized - not sure if this was an anti-Asian thing or something else, but the trend is not a positive one.

Someone earlier said that my white American husband walking around with a lawyer on his speed dial doesn't sit well with the community. Well, neither does spitting on an Asian person or inflicting micro (or macro) aggressions towards them...it is difficult; we can't shield our kids from EVERYTHING, but we do want to spare them some really horrible things, and be prepared to "fight" if something horrible happens and nobody does anything about it, as our prior experience at a different school in another state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP in this area you’re going to see “nice white” racism. People won’t call your kids slurs and won’t physically harm them. But if your kids do well in school, they’re going to assume it was because you had a Tiger mom stance with them and they do kumon and tons of outside enrichment. They’ll place model minority expectations on your kids. In this area, I have had women say to my face they moved out of their perfectly nice neighborhood because it was predominantly south Asian and they didn’t want their kids in a school with no white peer group and where they would struggle to academically stand out against Asian kids. That’s the kind of BS that passes for acceptable among the parents in this area.

Very true. I grew up in fairfax county. No one would ever dare say something like a racial slur. But they will complain about the Asian kid getting into this school. A white girl in my graduating class was pissed this Asian kid got into a school she applied to and was very rude to him about it. Yet she got into the Ivy League too.