Parents of (partially) Asian kids - are you worried about anti-Asian bullying/harassment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - some of the earlier comments got removed. What happened?

Also, yes, here is an article titled: This is what no one tells you about being Asian in America in 2021.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/asian-hate-crimes-2021-covid_n_602c00e8c5b6c95056f3dd41

With COVID, Asian people in the US are subjected to different kind of discrimination and hate crimes - in Fairfax, minority-owned businesses were burglarized - not sure if this was an anti-Asian thing or something else, but the trend is not a positive one.

Someone earlier said that my white American husband walking around with a lawyer on his speed dial doesn't sit well with the community. Well, neither does spitting on an Asian person or inflicting micro (or macro) aggressions towards them...it is difficult; we can't shield our kids from EVERYTHING, but we do want to spare them some really horrible things, and be prepared to "fight" if something horrible happens and nobody does anything about it, as our prior experience at a different school in another state.

That's a great article but why was it written and published two days after a violent attack against an Asian woman in New York City and makes no mention of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP in this area you’re going to see “nice white” racism. People won’t call your kids slurs and won’t physically harm them. But if your kids do well in school, they’re going to assume it was because you had a Tiger mom stance with them and they do kumon and tons of outside enrichment. They’ll place model minority expectations on your kids. In this area, I have had women say to my face they moved out of their perfectly nice neighborhood because it was predominantly south Asian and they didn’t want their kids in a school with no white peer group and where they would struggle to academically stand out against Asian kids. That’s the kind of BS that passes for acceptable among the parents in this area.

This exactly. DC area might be just about the best in country for how your Asian kids will be treated by their peers. Things will happen from time to time but I do think this area probably compares well with any other - I am including other big cities like Chicago and NYC.

But I have read more anti Asian sentiment on this Schools Message Board then I have heard or seen elsewhere in my time in the DC area. I was shocked to hear my very politically liberal wife echo some of these same sentiments a few years back. I was a little upset and surprised and called her out but I am not sure she saw my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to DCUM OP. As you've seen from this thread, the issues you will encounter will not be just from the Trumpers, you will also encounter Anti-Asian discrimination from the left too. It's a lose-lose situation in this area.

The right will call you names and openly say nasty things to your face. The left will be less vocal to your face, but talk sh*t about you behind your back and then call you too sensitive if you bring it up.

The right will side eye you as you walk by and look at you like you're an alien when you walk in a store. The left will work to change legislation because having too many Asian kids in a school means they are all cheaters, racists, and memorization drones.

The left is ignorant and racist. The right use their degrees to justify their ignorance and racism.


Teach your kid to stand up for him/herself. Make sure you do too and don't back down to either of the looney sides that try to tear you down.

Very carefully choose who you vote for, make sure they have YOUR interests in mind too. Don't vote on party lines. Really talk to the candidates and see where they stand. Look at their track record, not just listen to their promises. Think long term for your future generations.

This.

And you’ve noticed how this thread got heavily edited, any thread that wants to discuss Anti Asian hate gets heavily edited. We just aren’t allowed to have the safe space to discuss it openly. Certain races report them to censor an honest discussion.

[Anonymous]

Yes, like almost half of the recent posts have been removed, edited.
And yes, people are ok with marginalized people "succeeding" until this threatens their own or their children's successes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - some of the earlier comments got removed. What happened?

Also, yes, here is an article titled: This is what no one tells you about being Asian in America in 2021.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/asian-hate-crimes-2021-covid_n_602c00e8c5b6c95056f3dd41

With COVID, Asian people in the US are subjected to different kind of discrimination and hate crimes - in Fairfax, minority-owned businesses were burglarized - not sure if this was an anti-Asian thing or something else, but the trend is not a positive one.

Someone earlier said that my white American husband walking around with a lawyer on his speed dial doesn't sit well with the community. Well, neither does spitting on an Asian person or inflicting micro (or macro) aggressions towards them...it is difficult; we can't shield our kids from EVERYTHING, but we do want to spare them some really horrible things, and be prepared to "fight" if something horrible happens and nobody does anything about it, as our prior experience at a different school in another state.

That's a great article but why was it written and published two days after a violent attack against an Asian woman in New York City and makes no mention of it?

Yeah some crazy person in the most densely populated major city in the country assaulted an Asian. It happens to people of other races too.

[Anonymous]

There are so many like these, against Asian, Black, and other marginalized groups, not to mention targeted mass shootings towards Jews, Latinos, etc. So depressing.

[Anonymous]

Asian who lived in the mostly white VA area for 6 years. All this is stemming from over emphasis of race in general. Whether it's a focus on racism around black community or asians, or even a focus on anti-racism it's all bad. I certainly don't see things improving when everyone keeps making everyone see others as only colors vs individuals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - some of the earlier comments got removed. What happened?

Also, yes, here is an article titled: This is what no one tells you about being Asian in America in 2021.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/asian-hate-crimes-2021-covid_n_602c00e8c5b6c95056f3dd41

With COVID, Asian people in the US are subjected to different kind of discrimination and hate crimes - in Fairfax, minority-owned businesses were burglarized - not sure if this was an anti-Asian thing or something else, but the trend is not a positive one.

Someone earlier said that my white American husband walking around with a lawyer on his speed dial doesn't sit well with the community. Well, neither does spitting on an Asian person or inflicting micro (or macro) aggressions towards them...it is difficult; we can't shield our kids from EVERYTHING, but we do want to spare them some really horrible things, and be prepared to "fight" if something horrible happens and nobody does anything about it, as our prior experience at a different school in another state.

That's a great article but why was it written and published two days after a violent attack against an Asian woman in New York City and makes no mention of it?

Yeah some crazy person in the most densely populated major city in the country assaulted an Asian. It happens to people of other races too.

Point is, they're picking on old and the weak. Pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Very true. I grew up in fairfax county. No one would ever dare say something like a racial slur. But they will complain about the Asian kid getting into this school. A white girl in my graduating class was pissed this Asian kid got into a school she applied to and was very rude to him about it. Yet she got into the Ivy League too.

This happens with kids of all colors and the same colors.

DD competed in a writing contest in high school. When she walked in, one of the kids(who had gone to a center, she had not) asked her what she was doing there. By the way, she won. He did not.

DD was also commended National Merit. Many kids who went to the center did not and were surprised when she did. Some even made comments.

DD is white and so were the commenters.

My point is that sometimes it is not about race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Very true. I grew up in fairfax county. No one would ever dare say something like a racial slur. But they will complain about the Asian kid getting into this school. A white girl in my graduating class was pissed this Asian kid got into a school she applied to and was very rude to him about it. Yet she got into the Ivy League too.

This happens with kids of all colors and the same colors.

DD competed in a writing contest in high school. When she walked in, one of the kids(who had gone to a center, she had not) asked her what she was doing there. By the way, she won. He did not.

DD was also commended National Merit. Many kids who went to the center did not and were surprised when she did. Some even made comments.

DD is white and so were the commenters.

My point is that sometimes it is not about race.

Center? You mean an AAP center? And the kid held that against her in high school??? It sounds like in both of the above examples, the kids were just hyper competitive and insecure and had to put others down...

[Anonymous]

Center? You mean an AAP center? And the kid held that against her in high school??? It sounds like in both of the above examples, the kids were just hyper competitive and insecure and had to put others down...

Yes, but this was when it was still GT. That's when I learned that it wasn't all it claimed to be. Probably, even less so now. That said, DD could have probably gone on appeal as she was in the group being considered. But, her elementary school was great and I saw no need to take her out. I hate the center concept. I hated it before I had kids---I was a teacher.

[Anonymous]

This is a thread about racism. Not on white-on-white hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asian who lived in the mostly white VA area for 6 years. All this is stemming from over emphasis of race in general. Whether it's a focus on racism around black community or asians, or even a focus on anti-racism it's all bad. I certainly don't see things improving when everyone keeps making everyone see others as only colors vs individuals.

Agree. But then again, I don't think the focus is designed to unite. There's no money in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a thread about racism. Not on white-on-white hate.

This PP is right. And I'm saddened that some of your kids are experiencing this. As a white parent, I am just reading for my own education. I would like to be more aware of what Asian kids are experiencing so that I can help education my white child be more aware so that he can be an ally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Center? You mean an AAP center? And the kid held that against her in high school??? It sounds like in both of the above examples, the kids were just hyper competitive and insecure and had to put others down...

Yes, but this was when it was still GT. That's when I learned that it wasn't all it claimed to be. Probably, even less so now. That said, DD could have probably gone on appeal as she was in the group being considered. But, her elementary school was great and I saw no need to take her out. I hate the center concept. I hated it before I had kids---I was a teacher.

As bad as the Center concept is, the AAP LOCAL LEVEL IV is so much worse. So. Much. Worse.