Parents of (partially) Asian kids - are you worried about anti-Asian bullying/harassment?

[Anonymous]

FWIW, years ago i was corrected by a Chinese American friend. I used "Oriental" in referring to someone. She very nicely told me that "Oriental" was now considered a slur. (This was decades ago.) I did not know and did not mean it as a slur--and, she KNEW it was not intended as a slur. I was not offended when she corrected me and I have never used the term in referring to a person since then

Sometimes, people just don't know when something is offensive. And, FWIW, I still don't know why it is considered a slur, but I accepted her correction and do not use it.

My point is that sometimes kids do not know, There are so many terms and actions that are misinterpreted these days. I do think most people and kids know the N word is offensive, but it's kind of hard to explain to a ten year old white boy why his AA friends call each other by that word and it is "acceptable." In my opinion, the word should be taken out of the vocabulary and music.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, years ago i was corrected by a Chinese American friend. I used "Oriental" in referring to someone. She very nicely told me that "Oriental" was now considered a slur. (This was decades ago.) I did not know and did not mean it as a slur--and, she KNEW it was not intended as a slur. I was not offended when she corrected me and I have never used the term in referring to a person since then

Sometimes, people just don't know when something is offensive. And, FWIW, I still don't know why it is considered a slur, but I accepted her correction and do not use it.

My point is that sometimes kids do not know, There are so many terms and actions that are misinterpreted these days. I do think most people and kids know the N word is offensive, but it's kind of hard to explain to a ten year old white boy why his AA friends call each other by that word and it is "acceptable." In my opinion, the word should be taken out of the vocabulary and music.

Thank you for this wonderful lesson in the difference between "awkward white person" versus "racist white nationalist".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fox Mill Elementary School, and Great Falls ES have Japanese Immersion language programs. There are two ES that have Korean Immersion programs. The MS and HS that those schools feed into have continuing language classes in Japanese or Korean. Maybe those are good areas to explore buying a house.

Did you know Asian Americans speak English?

[Anonymous]

OP in this area you’re going to see “nice white” racism. People won’t call your kids slurs and won’t physically harm them. But if your kids do well in school, they’re going to assume it was because you had a Tiger mom stance with them and they do kumon and tons of outside enrichment. They’ll place model minority expectations on your kids. In this area, I have had women say to my face they moved out of their perfectly nice neighborhood because it was predominantly south Asian and they didn’t want their kids in a school with no white peer group and where they would struggle to academically stand out against Asian kids. That’s the kind of BS that passes for acceptable among the parents in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP in this area you’re going to see “nice white” racism. People won’t call your kids slurs and won’t physically harm them. But if your kids do well in school, they’re going to assume it was because you had a Tiger mom stance with them and they do kumon and tons of outside enrichment. They’ll place model minority expectations on your kids. In this area, I have had women say to my face they moved out of their perfectly nice neighborhood because it was predominantly south Asian and they didn’t want their kids in a school with no white peer group and where they would struggle to academically stand out against Asian kids. That’s the kind of BS that passes for acceptable among the parents in this area.

But that is a real dynamic here. We specifically did not look in those western FCPS areas simply because I did not want a cut throat school environment for my kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm Asian and went through the Marshall pyramid. I almost never encountered racism. As others have pointed out the recently arrived Central American kids will call you chino, but I think they just don't know any better. Also if your kids take honors or IB you won't have recently arrived Central American immigrants so that can help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Asian and went through the Marshall pyramid. I almost never encountered racism. As others have pointed out the recently arrived Central American kids will call you chino, but I think they just don't know any better. Also if your kids take honors or IB you won't have recently arrived Central American immigrants so that can help.

Its not just recently arrived Central Americans. Their fully American children do it as well. I've had this happen to one of my children in school. We aren't Asian but another minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fox Mill Elementary School, and Great Falls ES have Japanese Immersion language programs. There are two ES that have Korean Immersion programs. The MS and HS that those schools feed into have continuing language classes in Japanese or Korean. Maybe those are good areas to explore buying a house.

Which ES have Korean immersion?

Collin Powell in Centreville. I heard good things.

[Anonymous]

A first generation Asian here. I am more concerned about too many Asians and the high pressure culutre. I went through severe competition and don’t want my kids to have the same experience.

[Anonymous]

Arguably, Asians are now being viewed as white-adjacent. But the TJ reforms were not good news for Asians.

[Anonymous]

Op again. This thread sort of took a turn...systemic and institutional racism in the US is a problem, and it affects all marginalized populations. It needs to be addressed for sure, and we all need to vote to put decent human beings in public offices, so policies can change for the better - less discrimination, less violence, less poverty.
However, I started this post because I was seeing COVID-induced anti-Asian hate crimes, my white American husband was very worried that our half Asian children might be subjected to this kind of hate and aggression. What can we do to protect them? What can we do to prepare to deal with issues, if/when they come up? We've had a very bad experience in the past, and we don't want to make the same mistake again meaning, wasting a bunch of time and our emotional energy dancing around with the school administration and teachers to not hurt these ignorant, racist white perpetrators' feelings. One example of the dance - one kid thought our son was black and used the slur for black people, told him to go back to his country, go back to Africa. My son called him an idiot, he wasn't from Africa, Africa isn't a country. Asst. Principal wanted my son to apologize to the kid for calling him an idiot. We said hell no, have that other kid apologize to him for using the slur - they said, well, he didn't "mean it" plus your son is not black, so what's the big deal? Ugh. Makes my blood boil just remembering that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again. This thread sort of took a turn...systemic and institutional racism in the US is a problem, and it affects all marginalized populations. It needs to be addressed for sure, and we all need to vote to put decent human beings in public offices, so policies can change for the better - less discrimination, less violence, less poverty.
However, I started this post because I was seeing COVID-induced anti-Asian hate crimes, my white American husband was very worried that our half Asian children might be subjected to this kind of hate and aggression. What can we do to protect them? What can we do to prepare to deal with issues, if/when they come up? We've had a very bad experience in the past, and we don't want to make the same mistake again meaning, wasting a bunch of time and our emotional energy dancing around with the school administration and teachers to not hurt these ignorant, racist white perpetrators' feelings. One example of the dance - one kid thought our son was black and used the slur for black people, told him to go back to his country, go back to Africa. My son called him an idiot, he wasn't from Africa, Africa isn't a country. Asst. Principal wanted my son to apologize to the kid for calling him an idiot. We said hell no, have that other kid apologize to him for using the slur - they said, well, he didn't "mean it" plus your son is not black, so what's the big deal? Ugh. Makes my blood boil just remembering that day.

Sorry to hear this. It’s the reality in America no matter where you go. Maybe less blatant here but still present.

I’ve got your back and know many others do too. Ignore those who will pressure you to be “reasonable” or who try to minimize things. I’m not sure how FCPS will handle things, they are somewhat progressive but many white people as evidenced here have no knowledge of their bias and blind spots. FCPS fairly clumsily handled the George Floyd and BLM movement amount students. This is typically a white liberal area and so they’ll acknowledge and talk about race up until it starts being uncomfortable or inconvenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP in this area you’re going to see “nice white” racism. People won’t call your kids slurs and won’t physically harm them. But if your kids do well in school, they’re going to assume it was because you had a Tiger mom stance with them and they do kumon and tons of outside enrichment. They’ll place model minority expectations on your kids. In this area, I have had women say to my face they moved out of their perfectly nice neighborhood because it was predominantly south Asian and they didn’t want their kids in a school with no white peer group and where they would struggle to academically stand out against Asian kids. That’s the kind of BS that passes for acceptable among the parents in this area.

In this area, which is deep blue and filled with “All are Welcome” signs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP in this area you’re going to see “nice white” racism. People won’t call your kids slurs and won’t physically harm them. But if your kids do well in school, they’re going to assume it was because you had a Tiger mom stance with them and they do kumon and tons of outside enrichment. They’ll place model minority expectations on your kids. In this area, I have had women say to my face they moved out of their perfectly nice neighborhood because it was predominantly south Asian and they didn’t want their kids in a school with no white peer group and where they would struggle to academically stand out against Asian kids. That’s the kind of BS that passes for acceptable among the parents in this area.

In this area, which is deep blue and filled with “All are Welcome” signs.

I mean you see that in Red areas too. Its not uncommon.

https://psmag.com/news/ghosts-of-white-people-past-witnessing-white-flight-from-an-asian-ethnoburb

[Anonymous]

People don't take Asian or white racial grievance seriously OP. I'm not saying it's right or wrong but just some practical advice would be to teach your children how to react when faced with common trash who sling racial slurs at you. Being the "white man with a lawyer" won't get you anywhere with FCPS as they will just buckle down and ride your money out.