Parents of (partially) Asian kids - are you worried about anti-Asian bullying/harassment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asian who lived in the mostly white VA area for 6 years. All this is stemming from over emphasis of race in general. Whether it's a focus on racism around black community or asians, or even a focus on anti-racism it's all bad. I certainly don't see things improving when everyone keeps making everyone see others as only colors vs individuals.

Racism was here way before we talked about it. Tension amongst different ethnic groups were present way before BLM, recent social justice movements. Bringing racism to light doesn’t cause it. And not talking about it won’t make it go away. Now I’m Latina and I think what doesn’t get talked enough is prejudice among minorities. Latinos can be racist against blacks, there’s prejudice among different Latino nationalities. Asians hold prejudices against other Asians and other minority groups. The attacks on the news have been mostly committed by AA youth. We need to put it all out there even though it is uncomfortable to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

+1
This country started out with genocide then slavery. It was built upon violence and dehumanization of certain groups of people. Of course there is tension and inequality among ALL races and ethnic groups. Another poster said there is no money in uniting, and this is absolutely correct - there are beneficiaries of the inequality and discrimination; they are not incentivized at all to change ANYTHING. But the conversation must go on, and we all need to feel uncomfortable realizing of the privileges we have at the expense of someone else.

Just like George Floyd really exposed the level of brutality and bs in the current police force, the recent anti-Asian hate crimes exposed the ongoing anti-Asian sentiment. We all need to wake up and face the truth. We need to hold people accountable (i.e. Capitol rioters, our politicians at all levels of government). Otherwise, black, Asian, Latino, Native American, and other marginalized parents will always worry about some hate crime/incident that will traumatize their children for life, only to see the perpetrators walk free with their heads up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1
This country started out with genocide then slavery. It was built upon violence and dehumanization of certain groups of people. Of course there is tension and inequality among ALL races and ethnic groups. Another poster said there is no money in uniting, and this is absolutely correct - there are beneficiaries of the inequality and discrimination; they are not incentivized at all to change ANYTHING. But the conversation must go on, and we all need to feel uncomfortable realizing of the privileges we have at the expense of someone else.

Just like George Floyd really exposed the level of brutality and bs in the current police force, the recent anti-Asian hate crimes exposed the ongoing anti-Asian sentiment. We all need to wake up and face the truth. We need to hold people accountable (i.e. Capitol rioters, our politicians at all levels of government). Otherwise, black, Asian, Latino, Native American, and other marginalized parents will always worry about some hate crime/incident that will traumatize their children for life, only to see the perpetrators walk free with their heads up.

Heather McGee's book is up next on my list: https://www.amazon.com/Sum-Us-Everyone-Prosper-Together/dp/0525509569

Its actually interesting to see the research showing that YES, segregation has real, tangible costs for all of us. Which provides incentive beyond being a decent human being for those not so inclined to be decent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asian who lived in the mostly white VA area for 6 years. All this is stemming from over emphasis of race in general. Whether it's a focus on racism around black community or asians, or even a focus on anti-racism it's all bad. I certainly don't see things improving when everyone keeps making everyone see others as only colors vs individuals.

Racism was here way before we talked about it. Tension amongst different ethnic groups were present way before BLM, recent social justice movements. Bringing racism to light doesn’t cause it. And not talking about it won’t make it go away. Now I’m Latina and I think what doesn’t get talked enough is prejudice among minorities. Latinos can be racist against blacks, there’s prejudice among different Latino nationalities. Asians hold prejudices against other Asians and other minority groups. The attacks on the news have been mostly committed by AA youth. We need to put it all out there even though it is uncomfortable to talk about it.

This.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I'm glad people are able to discuss racism openly...but my questions remain: Are other parents of (partially) Asian kids worried about anti-Asian harassment in schools? Is there anything we can do as parents to prepare to respond to such hate incidents? Many thanks, to all of you out there sharing your thoughts on this...which is just the tip of the iceberg called racism.

We have talked to our children that they might encounter "hate" like these incidents in the news...obviously what an ignorant person says doesn't define them; they can report to a teacher or another trusted adult in school, or to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I'm glad people are able to discuss racism openly...but my questions remain: Are other parents of (partially) Asian kids worried about anti-Asian harassment in schools? Is there anything we can do as parents to prepare to respond to such hate incidents? Many thanks, to all of you out there sharing your thoughts on this...which is just the tip of the iceberg called racism.

We have talked to our children that they might encounter "hate" like these incidents in the news...obviously what an ignorant person says doesn't define them; they can report to a teacher or another trusted adult in school, or to us.

In all practical matters, no. I honestly feel like what they are likely to encounter, if they do at all, are going to be ignorant AF microagressions (which add up surely and are exhausting but are decidedly not as dangerous as a real hate crime/ violence). You are also putting your head in the sand to not realize that being half-white (which I assume from these posts that the kids are, please correct me if I missed it) won't convey a significant amount of white privilege. The combo of 'passing' (not intentionally, but just by accident) and the concept of the "model minority" is powerful- it should NOT be, we know that, but in reality, in this current society, it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I'm glad people are able to discuss racism openly...but my questions remain: Are other parents of (partially) Asian kids worried about anti-Asian harassment in schools? Is there anything we can do as parents to prepare to respond to such hate incidents? Many thanks, to all of you out there sharing your thoughts on this...which is just the tip of the iceberg called racism.

We have talked to our children that they might encounter "hate" like these incidents in the news...obviously what an ignorant person says doesn't define them; they can report to a teacher or another trusted adult in school, or to us.

In all practical matters, no. I honestly feel like what they are likely to encounter, if they do at all, are going to be ignorant AF microagressions (which add up surely and are exhausting but are decidedly not as dangerous as a real hate crime/ violence). You are also putting your head in the sand to not realize that being half-white (which I assume from these posts that the kids are, please correct me if I missed it) won't convey a significant amount of white privilege. The combo of 'passing' (not intentionally, but just by accident) and the concept of the "model minority" is powerful- it should NOT be, we know that, but in reality, in this current society, it is.

It is scary how authoritative some posters claim to be on all race-related matters. Mixed-race kids can also face issues that kids identified with a single race don't encounter, such as being made to feel as if they fully don't belong to either group. For kids who are part Asian and part white, that can include, at times, "what are you" comments from white kids or comments from Asian kids that they aren't "real" Asians or that any academic challenges they face in school must be due to their white ancestry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I'm glad people are able to discuss racism openly...but my questions remain: Are other parents of (partially) Asian kids worried about anti-Asian harassment in schools? Is there anything we can do as parents to prepare to respond to such hate incidents? Many thanks, to all of you out there sharing your thoughts on this...which is just the tip of the iceberg called racism.

We have talked to our children that they might encounter "hate" like these incidents in the news...obviously what an ignorant person says doesn't define them; they can report to a teacher or another trusted adult in school, or to us.

In all practical matters, no. I honestly feel like what they are likely to encounter, if they do at all, are going to be ignorant AF microagressions (which add up surely and are exhausting but are decidedly not as dangerous as a real hate crime/ violence). You are also putting your head in the sand to not realize that being half-white (which I assume from these posts that the kids are, please correct me if I missed it) won't convey a significant amount of white privilege. The combo of 'passing' (not intentionally, but just by accident) and the concept of the "model minority" is powerful- it should NOT be, we know that, but in reality, in this current society, it is.

I have yet to see a half Asian child passing for white. And i've seen half Asian kids with blonde hair and blue eyes. It was still very clear that they were partially Asian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I'm glad people are able to discuss racism openly...but my questions remain: Are other parents of (partially) Asian kids worried about anti-Asian harassment in schools? Is there anything we can do as parents to prepare to respond to such hate incidents? Many thanks, to all of you out there sharing your thoughts on this...which is just the tip of the iceberg called racism.

We have talked to our children that they might encounter "hate" like these incidents in the news...obviously what an ignorant person says doesn't define them; they can report to a teacher or another trusted adult in school, or to us.

In all practical matters, no. I honestly feel like what they are likely to encounter, if they do at all, are going to be ignorant AF microagressions (which add up surely and are exhausting but are decidedly not as dangerous as a real hate crime/ violence). You are also putting your head in the sand to not realize that being half-white (which I assume from these posts that the kids are, please correct me if I missed it) won't convey a significant amount of white privilege. The combo of 'passing' (not intentionally, but just by accident) and the concept of the "model minority" is powerful- it should NOT be, we know that, but in reality, in this current society, it is.

I have yet to see a half Asian child passing for white. And i've seen half Asian kids with blonde hair and blue eyes. It was still very clear that they were partially Asian.

OK well there are plenty of kids who do and/or what I believe is more common is because we are ethnically mixing more and more (which overall I think is a good thing as long as we aren't washing out cultures but celebrating them all), people might be able to tell you aren't only white but also have no idea what your actual ethnicity is. I am white on both sides but there is definitely some N. African and/or MENA genes mixing around our gene pool because several of us have that racially ambiguous look. My best friend from childhood is half Chinese, half Scottish and people guess all kinds of ethnicities for her (mostly white ones actually) but rarely get it right. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I'm glad people are able to discuss racism openly...but my questions remain: Are other parents of (partially) Asian kids worried about anti-Asian harassment in schools? Is there anything we can do as parents to prepare to respond to such hate incidents? Many thanks, to all of you out there sharing your thoughts on this...which is just the tip of the iceberg called racism.

We have talked to our children that they might encounter "hate" like these incidents in the news...obviously what an ignorant person says doesn't define them; they can report to a teacher or another trusted adult in school, or to us.

In all practical matters, no. I honestly feel like what they are likely to encounter, if they do at all, are going to be ignorant AF microagressions (which add up surely and are exhausting but are decidedly not as dangerous as a real hate crime/ violence). You are also putting your head in the sand to not realize that being half-white (which I assume from these posts that the kids are, please correct me if I missed it) won't convey a significant amount of white privilege. The combo of 'passing' (not intentionally, but just by accident) and the concept of the "model minority" is powerful- it should NOT be, we know that, but in reality, in this current society, it is.

It is scary how authoritative some posters claim to be on all race-related matters. Mixed-race kids can also face issues that kids identified with a single race don't encounter, such as being made to feel as if they fully don't belong to either group. For kids who are part Asian and part white, that can include, at times, "what are you" comments from white kids or comments from Asian kids that they aren't "real" Asians or that any academic challenges they face in school must be due to their white ancestry.

I'm not saying that AT ALL. I know that I have more learning to do, because honestly I don't think I know anyone who claims they are "done" learning on this.

Of course I acknowledge the bolded even in my last post. These are certainly shit things to deal with, they should be eradicated. But they don't rise to the level of being hate crime harrassed or violence that OP's husband seems to think is just around the corner. That's what I am saying. To acknowledge that there isn't nuance to the fact that there is some level of privilege for these kids though, is frankly problematic as well.

The new book Caste by Isabel Wilkerson is brilliant at looking at how different ethnic groups had to find a space in this black/white hierarchy this nation was built on and all of that still put black folks at the very bottom. And before anyone says "yes but this post IS ABOUT ASIANS", I get that too obviously. But racial prejudice and racism don't exist in a binary vacuum of just two ethnicities at a time. It is still all relevant to look at. There should be unflinching looks at this stuff otherwise it just reinforces the hierarchy. Its tough and tricky to get through, for certain. If anyone is a fan of the TV show Insecure, they even broach this in their last season for a minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I'm glad people are able to discuss racism openly...but my questions remain: Are other parents of (partially) Asian kids worried about anti-Asian harassment in schools? Is there anything we can do as parents to prepare to respond to such hate incidents? Many thanks, to all of you out there sharing your thoughts on this...which is just the tip of the iceberg called racism.

We have talked to our children that they might encounter "hate" like these incidents in the news...obviously what an ignorant person says doesn't define them; they can report to a teacher or another trusted adult in school, or to us.

Zero from the white kids.

Zero from the asian kids.

Zero from the AA kids.

[Anonymous]

As to the "where are you from question":

The person I know with the most curiosity about ethnic origin is a Hawaiian born woman of Japanese ancestry. She claims that growing up in Hawaii that it was a normal question based on curiosity rather than racism. I have no idea if this is universal in Hawaii. She is from the Big Island and is a senior citizen now. I knew her while working with her for the US government and we became good friends. But, she was always very interested in a person's "origins."

And, as for kids asking "where you are from" that is one of those things that is insensitive, but not necessarily racist. Around here it is a pretty common question for people of all races to be asked.

[Anonymous]

Wow so much anti-asian racism exhibited just in this thread.

OP, keep bringing up these issues, they are real. Not to mention the affirmative action issues there are in college admissions. This entire country has pockets and many places that are anti-asian and anti-semitic too for that matter. People want to deny it and call it different and nuanced than the BLM movement. But it's just minimizing the issues.

[Anonymous]

OP I don’t think your kids are at risk for overt anti Asian violence but prejudice? Yes. I think that’s still an issue in NoVa with different minority groups. It’s not necessarily people yelling slurs. It’s comments, assumptions.

[Anonymous]

I know of two Asian kids who bully other kids at my child’s school. They bully mostly white kids.