10 yo doesn't eat when at dad's - what should I do, if anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was me! My mom actually still talks about it (that I would come home hungry from my dad’s - either the weekend with him or every Weds. dinner), which makes me feel guilty to this day. My father and I were not and are not close, though I spent that mandated time with him. Because my dad didn’t seem to particularly like me, I was very nervous around him and simply was not interested in eating in his presence. My dad wasn’t awful with me or anything, he just made me uncomfortable.
Please don’t make your DC feel badly because he doesn’t want to eat with his father. Your DC is dealing with so much already (because you and his father couldn’t work out your adult sh-t), please don’t begrudge him eating meals when he is comfortable enough to eat them. Seriously, I understand that divorce sucks for everyone but it sucks more for your kid.

The kid is too busy playing video games. It’s normal at that age. Dad needs to turn it off and say no more till you eat.

Or maybe kids should be allowed to refrain from visiting if they don’t want to? They’re people too.

Except kids are easily manipulated. If one parent terminates visits fine but they should not get child support if they want to be the sole parent.

Um, this doesn’t apply to the situation. OP really seems to value her childfree time, and in fact is hoping to have her ex take the kid overnight sometimes. So this misogynistic tale you’re trying to spin about the evil woman preventing the heartbroken father from seeing his kid is a crock of shit.

[Anonymous]

One of the many times my sister was dragged back to court over custody, she actually got it added to the order that her kids had to be fed dinner during their mid week visitation (retuned at 9 and were often late) because the judge agreed it was bad for her kids to not eat until so late on a school night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him that he has to eat dinner at Dad’s. There will be no dinner at home other than oatmeal. Do this every time. He will change his ways very soon. He may just like that you eat as a family on these days (you say ex joins you?).

I agree. Stop playing into the dynamic. If he has oatmeal at your house he has to make and clean it up himself.

No video games when he gets back, either. If that doesn't work then he gets nothing. He either eats at Dad's or misses that meal.

[Anonymous]

There’s no video games when he gets back as it is - I know he had tons of screen time and it’s too late at night anyway.
-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s no video games when he gets back as it is - I know he had tons of screen time and it’s too late at night anyway.
-OP

You’re micromanaging. Kid isn’t a picky eater yet you focus on the restaurant has to be dad’s pick. You focus on dad eating your packed food, too much video games, failing to take him on walks the kid doesn’t want to do, etc.

I know, I know...you’ll write back that I’m wrong. But...I’m not.

[Anonymous]

My kids didn't want to eat with their controlling and manipulative dad. Maybe your son is uncomfortable.

Why would you force this issue. Let your child eat where he wants to eat. Let him bring food if that makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no video games when he gets back as it is - I know he had tons of screen time and it’s too late at night anyway.
-OP

You’re micromanaging. Kid isn’t a picky eater yet you focus on the restaurant has to be dad’s pick. You focus on dad eating your packed food, too much video games, failing to take him on walks the kid doesn’t want to do, etc.

I know, I know...you’ll write back that I’m wrong. But...I’m not.

She is doing nothing of the sort! You are adding your own spin to tear a mom down. Why? Is the only way you feel good about yourself to propagate patriarchy and think it is fine that dad doesn't provide food for his child?
How come dad gets out guilt-free?

I bet you if I posted that my kid eats at noon and then will not eat till 8 pm, and he is ten, I would be ripped apart from giving him a choice to refuse, not providing food, it is my duty to feed the kid, who says "would you like something to eat to a 10-year-old!!!" yes that would be there too. Hypocrite women od dcum. Best to tear OP down! if she is a woman, yay, more reason to do so! If she is a mom!!! OMG, jackpot, tear her to shreds!

[Anonymous]

Send a couple of lunchables.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no video games when he gets back as it is - I know he had tons of screen time and it’s too late at night anyway.
-OP

You’re micromanaging. Kid isn’t a picky eater yet you focus on the restaurant has to be dad’s pick. You focus on dad eating your packed food, too much video games, failing to take him on walks the kid doesn’t want to do, etc.

I know, I know...you’ll write back that I’m wrong. But...I’m not.

She is doing nothing of the sort! You are adding your own spin to tear a mom down. Why? Is the only way you feel good about yourself to propagate patriarchy and think it is fine that dad doesn't provide food for his child?
How come dad gets out guilt-free?

I bet you if I posted that my kid eats at noon and then will not eat till 8 pm, and he is ten, I would be ripped apart from giving him a choice to refuse, not providing food, it is my duty to feed the kid, who says "would you like something to eat to a 10-year-old!!!" yes that would be there too. Hypocrite women od dcum. Best to tear OP down! if she is a woman, yay, more reason to do so! If she is a mom!!! OMG, jackpot, tear her to shreds!

I’m not tearing her down or ripping her to shreds. Drama much? She has plenty of choices. Staying annoyed at it seems the unhealthiest of options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was me! My mom actually still talks about it (that I would come home hungry from my dad’s - either the weekend with him or every Weds. dinner), which makes me feel guilty to this day. My father and I were not and are not close, though I spent that mandated time with him. Because my dad didn’t seem to particularly like me, I was very nervous around him and simply was not interested in eating in his presence. My dad wasn’t awful with me or anything, he just made me uncomfortable.
Please don’t make your DC feel badly because he doesn’t want to eat with his father. Your DC is dealing with so much already (because you and his father couldn’t work out your adult sh-t), please don’t begrudge him eating meals when he is comfortable enough to eat them. Seriously, I understand that divorce sucks for everyone but it sucks more for your kid.

The kid is too busy playing video games. It’s normal at that age. Dad needs to turn it off and say no more till you eat.

Or maybe kids should be allowed to refrain from visiting if they don’t want to? They’re people too.

Except kids are easily manipulated. If one parent terminates visits fine but they should not get child support if they want to be the sole parent.

Um, this doesn’t apply to the situation. OP really seems to value her childfree time, and in fact is hoping to have her ex take the kid overnight sometimes. So this misogynistic tale you’re trying to spin about the evil woman preventing the heartbroken father from seeing his kid is a crock of shit.

If she valued her free time and the relationship with Dad, he would have already had more time. She's considering it and its probably based off her needs only. You seem to spin everything with the Dad is evil and Mom is always right. Once a week for a few hours or twice a month for a few hours isn't being a parent. Since he's not really a parent anymore, she shouldn't have expectations for him to parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no video games when he gets back as it is - I know he had tons of screen time and it’s too late at night anyway.
-OP

You’re micromanaging. Kid isn’t a picky eater yet you focus on the restaurant has to be dad’s pick. You focus on dad eating your packed food, too much video games, failing to take him on walks the kid doesn’t want to do, etc.

I know, I know...you’ll write back that I’m wrong. But...I’m not.

She is doing nothing of the sort! You are adding your own spin to tear a mom down. Why? Is the only way you feel good about yourself to propagate patriarchy and think it is fine that dad doesn't provide food for his child?
How come dad gets out guilt-free?

I bet you if I posted that my kid eats at noon and then will not eat till 8 pm, and he is ten, I would be ripped apart from giving him a choice to refuse, not providing food, it is my duty to feed the kid, who says "would you like something to eat to a 10-year-old!!!" yes that would be there too. Hypocrite women od dcum. Best to tear OP down! if she is a woman, yay, more reason to do so! If she is a mom!!! OMG, jackpot, tear her to shreds!

I’m not tearing her down or ripping her to shreds. Drama much? She has plenty of choices. Staying annoyed at it seems the unhealthiest of options.

Dad is offering multiple options and child is refusing. Dad shouldn't let it be an option but child is 10 and knows he needs to eat. But, why stop playing video games as when he goes home mom will feed him no issue. Mom needs to say if you don't eat at Dads, then there is no dinner at home. She needs to be part of the solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no video games when he gets back as it is - I know he had tons of screen time and it’s too late at night anyway.
-OP

You’re micromanaging. Kid isn’t a picky eater yet you focus on the restaurant has to be dad’s pick. You focus on dad eating your packed food, too much video games, failing to take him on walks the kid doesn’t want to do, etc.

I know, I know...you’ll write back that I’m wrong. But...I’m not.

Dad cannot do much right, clearly and Mom feels the need to dictate things. If you want him off video games, send him with his school work. Both parents are giving the child too much power. Mom probably doesn't allow video games, which is fine so kid gets laser focused at Dad's and its something they can do together. At that age that's normal and normal for kids to push off eating. Dad needs to say dinner is at 7, feed him and that's it. He needs to shut off the video games. Mom needs to say if you don't eat at Dad's then you wait for breakfast the next morning. If Kid knows he will eat when he gets home, why stop video games to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids didn't want to eat with their controlling and manipulative dad. Maybe your son is uncomfortable.

Why would you force this issue. Let your child eat where he wants to eat. Let him bring food if that makes you feel better.

Maybe you are part of the problem in what you say to your kids and how you treat your ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids didn't want to eat with their controlling and manipulative dad. Maybe your son is uncomfortable.

Why would you force this issue. Let your child eat where he wants to eat. Let him bring food if that makes you feel better.

Maybe you are part of the problem in what you say to your kids and how you treat your ex.

They are both to blame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids didn't want to eat with their controlling and manipulative dad. Maybe your son is uncomfortable.

Why would you force this issue. Let your child eat where he wants to eat. Let him bring food if that makes you feel better.

Maybe you are part of the problem in what you say to your kids and how you treat your ex.

They are both to blame.

^^Divorce lawyer and substitute judge