Fiancé wants a "nicer" engagement ring?
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Anonymous
| Just tell her NP you’ll need about a decade to save up. Is she willing to wait? |
Anonymous
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I would ask her if you two can figure out how to solve this. Once you are married there will be so many times that you’ll have to negotiate and problem solve with each other. This will see if you can do this and also see if you share common values.
I picked a $2500 1ct CZ with platinum band so we’d have enough money for a trip to Japan. So I would just tell her- I have no more than $8000. I know you want several carats. How do you propose we solve this? Hopefully she will offer to pay the difference or chose a lower quality diamond. But something that shows she understands the practical limitations. If she starts guilting you to prove your love or start to go through your finances to determine how much you should be able to spend, those are red flags and you need to walk away. “We don’t have the same values” |
Anonymous
| Can you afford a nicer ring? If you can afford it, up the budget. If you can’t afford it, and she knows it, she’s a jerk. |
Anonymous
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Why not just save up more or take out a loan? If it’s that important to her.
I told my SO the ring I wanted cost $14000, because it did. He figured it out. I make a good salary and can afford more than that and he knows that, is meeting me where I’m at. Nothing wrong with that and I like what I like. |
Anonymous
Well if it's true she's not materialistic just tell her that the ring she's envisioning isn't in the budget right now and come up with solutions together, some possible solutions may be a) she contributes to the ring b) she waits longer for that ring while you save c) she picks a ring within the budget D0 downsize on the dream wedding for the dream ring. |
Anonymous
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hat invention is surprisingly recent: Epstein traces its origins to the discovery of massive diamond mines in South Africa in the late 19th century, which for the first time flooded world markets with diamonds. The British businessmen operating the South African mines recognized that only by maintaining the fiction that diamonds were scarce and inherently valuable could they protect their investments and buoy diamond prices. They did so by launching a South Africa–based cartel, De Beers Consolidated Mines, Ltd. (now De Beers), in 1888, and meticulously extending the company's control over all facets of the diamond trade in the ensuing decades.
Most remarkably, De Beers manipulated not just supply but demand. In 1938, amid the ravages of the Depression and the rumblings of war, Harry Oppenheimer, the De Beers founder's son, recruited the New York–based ad agency N.W. Ayer to burnish the image of diamonds in the United States, where the practice of giving diamond engagement rings had been unevenly gaining traction for years, but where the diamonds sold were increasingly small and low-quality. Meanwhile, the price of diamonds was falling around the world. The folks at Ayer set out to persuade young men that diamonds (and only diamonds) were synonymous with romance, and that the measure of a man's love (and even his personal and professional success) was directly proportional to the size and quality of the diamond he purchased. Young women, in turn, had to be convinced that courtship concluded, invariably, in a diamond. Ayer insinuated these messages into the nooks and crannies of popular culture. It marketed an idea, not a diamond or brand: Movie idols, the paragons of romance for the mass audience, would be given diamonds to use as their symbols of indestructible love. In addition, the agency suggested offering stories and society photographs to selected magazines and newspapers which would reinforce the link between diamonds and romance. Stories would stress the size of diamonds that celebrities presented to their loved ones, and photographs would conspicuously show the glittering stone on the hand of a well-known woman. Fashion designers would talk on radio programs about the "trend towards diamonds" that Ayer planned to start. ... https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how-an-ad-campaign-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/ |
Anonymous
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I am surprised that no one here has asked how this guy determined his budget. Is 5-8K what he can afford, or simply his perspective on what is reasonable to spend for a piece of rock that serves no purpose other than to sit and look nice? Is he driving a Porsche and splurging on other luxuries?
If it's the former, then he should stick with what he can afford and figure out how to clue the girlfriend in as to what diamonds cost. If it's the latter, he needs to recognize that her values may not always align with his, but they need to learn to give in to each other from time to time. People think of giving in as somehow letting the partner win, but instead, it should be thought of as a way to embrace and love the weak spots in someone you care about. |
Anonymous
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It can be done for that price OP. Here’s an I color, VS2, excellent cut 1.5c round for $6500. The question is whether or not this is the first or last time you two will have divergent ideas on finances. Talk to her. Life is too short to stress about money. It’s a cliche but it really isn’t what matters in the end.
https://www.rarecarat.com/product/84890415?ntb=1&online=35,32,25,17,27,55,54,152,30,24,107,29,53,106,38,50,15,103,52,105,12&local=&searchId=886b92e4-e53f-41ae-a867-1a285cacf409&postalCode= |
Anonymous
| Cut your losses and get rid of her ASAP. |
Anonymous
What about the actual ring? |
Anonymous
Only an idiot would take out a loan for a ring. |
Anonymous
I think I treat to many Austen books growing up 
But how are you not disgusted with your fiancé? |
Anonymous
He can get a solitaire setting for less than $1500. |
Anonymous
| Get a used diamond from a recently divorced person. |
Anonymous
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OP, no matter what you decide, if you buy a ring that's a tiny bit outside the desired size range, you tend to save money and no one can tell the difference with the naked eye. Aim for 1.40 if you decide on 1.5, or 1.85-9 for 2, and you'll save money and get the same look.
And what cut does she like? Round brilliant is the most forgiving and tends to give you the most sparkle and size-appearance for your buck. Princess and cushion are cheaper than round by carat weight, but a round brilliant of the same CTW will appear larger. For an emerald cut, you need a pretty high-quality diamond bc of the glass-like appearance. But I agree with others that there needs to be a serious conversation about this. |