Fiancé wants a "nicer" engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my fiancee my mom's ring. Why didn't her parents have better jewelry to give?

This is a ridiculous response. Maybe they don't have expensive jewelry or they are still wearing it or have multiple kids, but not multiple rings?

Why didn't your fiancee get her ring from "her parents"?

[Anonymous]

I understand wanting to have a a nice ring. But I think you need bigger discussions on future purchases.

I did not want a big wedding or a honeymoon or even a big house, but I appreciated a 1.5 carat ring. It is literally the one nice thing I wanted.

However, I am cheap otherwise.

You need much bigger discussions to get married. It is not just the ring. If you can't afford the ring, you can't afford the ring. Maybe you need to wait to get married...or not get married at all if future finances don't match up.

[Anonymous]

Don't propose. You will have money fights the rest of your lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my fiancee my mom's ring. Why didn't her parents have better jewelry to give?

My parents just have plain gold bands that they wear on special occasions! Why did my poor husband even marry me?!

Did you demand a huge diamond?

I didn't demand anything, by the time my husband and I got engaged and married, we'd already been living together for years, had bought our home, and combined finances. We agreed together on how much we were going to spend.

Since OP and his girlfriend are discussing marriage, he should be open regarding the budget.

I don't see anything wrong with the girlfriend for having a preference, she just needs to know what the options are and it doesn't sound like she does. OP should just put it all on the table - a) chip in to get the ring she wants, b) get a large, lower-quality diamond, or c) get a smaller, high quality ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my fiancee my mom's ring. Why didn't her parents have better jewelry to give?

This is a ridiculous response. Maybe they don't have expensive jewelry or they are still wearing it or have multiple kids, but not multiple rings?

Why didn't your fiancee get her ring from "her parents"?

No, what's ridiculous is demanding a big diamond when you (and your family) can't afford one.

[Anonymous]

Tell her that's all you can afford. Seriously, she could drain your bank account for years to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my fiancee my mom's ring. Why didn't her parents have better jewelry to give?

This is a ridiculous response. Maybe they don't have expensive jewelry or they are still wearing it or have multiple kids, but not multiple rings?

Why didn't your fiancee get her ring from "her parents"?

No, what's ridiculous is demanding a big diamond when you (and your family) can't afford one.

If you need "your family" YOU can't afford it either.

[Anonymous]

How hot is she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my fiancee my mom's ring. Why didn't her parents have better jewelry to give?

This is a ridiculous response. Maybe they don't have expensive jewelry or they are still wearing it or have multiple kids, but not multiple rings?

Why didn't your fiancee get her ring from "her parents"?

No, what's ridiculous is demanding a big diamond when you (and your family) can't afford one.

If you need "your family" YOU can't afford it either.

"Need?" No. Want? Yes. Good try. Keep asking men to buy you things though.

[Anonymous]

The last psychiatrist has a great post on this:

https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/01/what_would_you_do_if_your_fian.html

Basically, he says that you are the kind of guy that the kind of girl who wants a bigger ring is attracted to. And you are both kind of shallow, self-involved, and trying to test the other person’s love be either demanding a bigger ring than the other can afford or showing up to the proposal with a smaller ring than the other person expects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't propose. You will have money fights the rest of your lives.

This is my reaction too. The PP who said if you are getting married, she already knows you can't afford it. That she is still asking for it tells yo so much. Marriage is long and I cannot imagine it working if you are not on the same page with money, which you clearly are not. I think one of the reasons my marriage has lasted three decades is that neither one of us would even ask the other to spend money we don't have.

[Anonymous]

Do you know what size her fingers are? I have tiny fingers (size 3.75) and my 1-carat ring takes up a lot of finger real estate. Anything bigger would look too gaudy.

[Anonymous]

Is her happiness important to you? You should know that some women really dream of a certain type of ring. It doesn't inherently make them materialistic.

If you love her, get her the ring she wants. Its probably the most special "present" you will give her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my fiancee my mom's ring. Why didn't her parents have better jewelry to give?

This is a ridiculous response. Maybe they don't have expensive jewelry or they are still wearing it or have multiple kids, but not multiple rings?

Why didn't your fiancee get her ring from "her parents"?

No, what's ridiculous is demanding a big diamond when you (and your family) can't afford one.

If you need "your family" YOU can't afford it either.

"Need?" No. Want? Yes. Good try. Keep asking men to buy you things though.

Good try? I’m not the one getting help from daddy.

[Anonymous]

I think you should set a budget and go shopping together — Costco, Blue Nile, Tiny Jewel Box, Tiffany’s, whatever, so that she can try on some actual rings. Then have a conversation about priorities. Is she willing to chip in for the ring she wants? Wait longer for you to buy it? Compromise on what she imagines she wants as she sees the actual options out there? I would do this both as a way to approach some resolution, but also as a way to understand her priorities and the way the two of you approach problem solving, and possibly understanding each other’s “ love languages” and values better.

As an aside, there’s no way that I’d insist on a certain size ring or pushing beyond a reasonable budget as a priority.

As another aside, I have a beautiful diamond ring that I purchased at a craft fair for a very reasonable price. Checking out the Smithsonian Craft Fair and other ACC events and sites might give you a wider range of options.