Fiancé wants a "nicer" engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well it is a ring she will theoretically wear for the rest of her life.

I don't blame her for wanting 1.5-2 carats, that's really the bare minimum for something you'd want to wear in your 30s and 40s.

I got engaged at 23 with a 1.5 carat solitaire ring. It's so puny, I'm embarrassed to wear it now and never do.

Can you get a loan from your parents or something? I'd try hard to get a 2 carat stone. You can go down on quality for size.

Priceless

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend in January. We have previously discussed engagement rings so I could get a sense of what she liked/wanted. My price range is $5-$8k. She really is fixated on have a diamond ring that is at least 1.5 - 2 carats. With my price range, it's not doable.

She does not want a gemstone or a "fake" diamond, I also floated the idea of getting a ring she could upgrade down the line, she's not interested in that either.

I'm trying to figure out what to do, or a productive way to approach this conversation with her. My girlfriend isn't even that materialistic she just always envisioned a certain engagement ring that I can't afford right now.

Looking for advice,

Oh boy. This will not likely end with the ring you know. Then it will be her wishing the house was a little higher quality, the car was a little nicer, the private school was a little better........

Decide if you’re okay with never quite being enough then proceed. If not, carefully weigh whether you are ready to marry this person, ever. I would be curious what she would say if you told her you’ll have to wait a long time to get engaged because you can’t afford what she wants.....

Honestly, it's simple OP. She pays half or accepts the ring you buy. One would think that when it is put to her that way, she realizes how silly she's being and lets the fantasy go.

It may be urban myth, btw, that the priciest weddings are the ones most likely to end in divorce, but that's been my experience with friends who got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For practical purposes, I agree with the earlier recommendation to go to pricescope for advice. She seems really unrealistic and is placing a lot of demands on the ring IMO. If the goal is to have a big rock, there are ways to do it within a budget.

My original engagement ring was almost a carat, it was an estate (lovingly used ) ring and was a good quality diamond solitaire for a great price. Vintage/estate/antique is a great way to go to save money. Ivy and Rose usually has some good sized rings less than 10K.

I bought myself a 2ct upgrade recently, I bought a lab diamond through rare carat. Gives the look I was going for but at a fraction of the cost of an ideal cut mined diamond. It's chemically identical to mined diamond with the same visual performance so that's good for me!

There's also the vendors with great upgrade policies like whiteflash.

NP here. I want to go the lab diamond route but larger carat sizes are hard to find and I don't see a huge difference in price if I go through the big lab diamond sellers. They seem to be controlling the market like the old companies. The prices for lab grown diamonds are higher than most people would expect. Right now I can get pre owned diamond stud earrings for a similar price to lab created. It's frustrating.

Op there are more important things to save for. Saving to buy a home should be your top priority - not a big ring, not a big wedding. Saving money period should be your top priority. Your girlfriend will he be wearing this every day so I agree she should be involved in the choice and contribute to the cost if she wants something bigger. I have a 1.5 carat ring and that was considered huge back in the 90s and now we have a poster here saying that is puny. It isn't. We glorify excess so much now because of the crap on tv that expectations about what wedding rings, dresses and events are completely out of reason. No one should go into debt to get married. You need to learn how to have these uncomfortable discussions with this woman. You are going to have quite a few of these in the future if you stay married.''

Besides the fact that a lab diamond is extremely tacky... Does it go with your fake LV bag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For practical purposes, I agree with the earlier recommendation to go to pricescope for advice. She seems really unrealistic and is placing a lot of demands on the ring IMO. If the goal is to have a big rock, there are ways to do it within a budget.

My original engagement ring was almost a carat, it was an estate (lovingly used ) ring and was a good quality diamond solitaire for a great price. Vintage/estate/antique is a great way to go to save money. Ivy and Rose usually has some good sized rings less than 10K.

I bought myself a 2ct upgrade recently, I bought a lab diamond through rare carat. Gives the look I was going for but at a fraction of the cost of an ideal cut mined diamond. It's chemically identical to mined diamond with the same visual performance so that's good for me!

There's also the vendors with great upgrade policies like whiteflash.

NP here. I want to go the lab diamond route but larger carat sizes are hard to find and I don't see a huge difference in price if I go through the big lab diamond sellers. They seem to be controlling the market like the old companies. The prices for lab grown diamonds are higher than most people would expect. Right now I can get pre owned diamond stud earrings for a similar price to lab created. It's frustrating.

Op there are more important things to save for. Saving to buy a home should be your top priority - not a big ring, not a big wedding. Saving money period should be your top priority. Your girlfriend will he be wearing this every day so I agree she should be involved in the choice and contribute to the cost if she wants something bigger. I have a 1.5 carat ring and that was considered huge back in the 90s and now we have a poster here saying that is puny. It isn't. We glorify excess so much now because of the crap on tv that expectations about what wedding rings, dresses and events are completely out of reason. No one should go into debt to get married. You need to learn how to have these uncomfortable discussions with this woman. You are going to have quite a few of these in the future if you stay married.''

Besides the fact that a lab diamond is extremely tacky... Does it go with your fake LV bag?

Says who? Even De Beers is in the lab diamond game. Price is only one reason to get a lab diamond. The humanitarian and environmental impacts of diamond mining are the main ones. Your daughters will one day view mined diamonds as we view fur now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well it is a ring she will theoretically wear for the rest of her life.

I don't blame her for wanting 1.5-2 carats, that's really the bare minimum for something you'd want to wear in your 30s and 40s.

I got engaged at 23 with a 1.5 carat solitaire ring. It's so puny, I'm embarrassed to wear it now and never do.

Can you get a loan from your parents or something? I'd try hard to get a 2 carat stone. You can go down on quality for size.

What kind of man hands do you have that a 1.5 carat stone looks puny on it?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For practical purposes, I agree with the earlier recommendation to go to pricescope for advice. She seems really unrealistic and is placing a lot of demands on the ring IMO. If the goal is to have a big rock, there are ways to do it within a budget.

My original engagement ring was almost a carat, it was an estate (lovingly used ) ring and was a good quality diamond solitaire for a great price. Vintage/estate/antique is a great way to go to save money. Ivy and Rose usually has some good sized rings less than 10K.

I bought myself a 2ct upgrade recently, I bought a lab diamond through rare carat. Gives the look I was going for but at a fraction of the cost of an ideal cut mined diamond. It's chemically identical to mined diamond with the same visual performance so that's good for me!

There's also the vendors with great upgrade policies like whiteflash.

NP here. I want to go the lab diamond route but larger carat sizes are hard to find and I don't see a huge difference in price if I go through the big lab diamond sellers. They seem to be controlling the market like the old companies. The prices for lab grown diamonds are higher than most people would expect. Right now I can get pre owned diamond stud earrings for a similar price to lab created. It's frustrating.

Op there are more important things to save for. Saving to buy a home should be your top priority - not a big ring, not a big wedding. Saving money period should be your top priority. Your girlfriend will he be wearing this every day so I agree she should be involved in the choice and contribute to the cost if she wants something bigger. I have a 1.5 carat ring and that was considered huge back in the 90s and now we have a poster here saying that is puny. It isn't. We glorify excess so much now because of the crap on tv that expectations about what wedding rings, dresses and events are completely out of reason. No one should go into debt to get married. You need to learn how to have these uncomfortable discussions with this woman. You are going to have quite a few of these in the future if you stay married.''

Besides the fact that a lab diamond is extremely tacky... Does it go with your fake LV bag?

Says who? Even De Beers is in the lab diamond game. Price is only one reason to get a lab diamond. The humanitarian and environmental impacts of diamond mining are the main ones. Your daughters will one day view mined diamonds as we view fur now.

PP here. Good points I hadn't thought of. Granted, I would still assume that for most it is a matter of aesthetics rather than human rights.