Fiancé wants a "nicer" engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend in January. We have previously discussed engagement rings so I could get a sense of what she liked/wanted. My price range is $5-$8k. She really is fixated on have a diamond ring that is at least 1.5 - 2 carats. With my price range, it's not doable.

She does not want a gemstone or a "fake" diamond, I also floated the idea of getting a ring she could upgrade down the line, she's not interested in that either.

I'm trying to figure out what to do, or a productive way to approach this conversation with her. My girlfriend isn't even that materialistic she just always envisioned a certain engagement ring that I can't afford right now.

Looking for advice,

[Anonymous]

She needs to contribute to the ring. But OP, you really should question who you are marrying.

[Anonymous]

She is that materialistic if 8K won't buy a ring that will suit her.

I guess the proposal has to wait until you can afford the ring she wants.

[Anonymous]

Find a new fiancé. Nothing will make her happy.

[Anonymous]

What happens when you get married and she pressures you to spend more than you guys can afford on a house?

I think you should take some time to think if you are really compatible. This is a huge red flag.

If she asks why you haven't proposed yet, tell her you need another few years to save up for the ring she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend in January. We have previously discussed engagement rings so I could get a sense of what she liked/wanted. My price range is $5-$8k. She really is fixated on have a diamond ring that is at least 1.5 - 2 carats. With my price range, it's not doable.

She does not want a gemstone or a "fake" diamond, I also floated the idea of getting a ring she could upgrade down the line, she's not interested in that either.

I'm trying to figure out what to do, or a productive way to approach this conversation with her. My girlfriend isn't even that materialistic she just always envisioned a certain engagement ring that I can't afford right now.

Looking for advice,

Yeah, I'd think about this very carefully. What is her response when you tell her that's it's not financially possible right now?

I have been married a long time but if my fiance had told me he couldn't afford what I wanted I would have been mortified - not that he couldn't afford it, but that I was asking for something that would be a financial challenge for him.

[Anonymous]

What's her income? Would she be able to chip in? It's not romantic, but it's practical. You shouldn't buy more than you can afford and if she isn't happy with what you can offer, then she needs to wait or make up the difference.

[Anonymous]

What is the poorest quality, largest diamond you can buy?

[Anonymous]

The two of you need to have a much bigger money discussion. How will money be spent, saved? What's important--travel, home, kids, private schools, retirement, SAHP?

The ring is indicative that she has certain expectations. You may not financially be able to meet them. For both of you, it's better to know that now before getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the poorest quality, largest diamond you can buy?

Seriously.

I have a good quality 1 carat and it looks great. Most women I know with larger stones don’t even wear them after kids bc they aren’t practical.

[Anonymous]

If you guys are getting married, she probably has a pretty clear picture of your finances. She knows what you can and can’t afford. She just has a different definition than you do.

[Anonymous]

Dump the gold-digger. Your price range is, if anything, too generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you guys are getting married, she probably has a pretty clear picture of your finances. She knows what you can and can’t afford. She just has a different definition than you do.

Her definition of “you can afford” is “if I want it, you can afford it” - an ominous portent....

[Anonymous]

Costco

https://www.costco.com/CatalogSearch?sortBy=PriceMin%7C0&refine=MIN_PRICE%253A%2528%257B5000%2B10000%257D%2B10000%2529%7C&keyword=diamond+ring&dept=All

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happens when you get married and she pressures you to spend more than you guys can afford on a house?

I think you should take some time to think if you are really compatible. This is a huge red flag.

If she asks why you haven't proposed yet, tell her you need another few years to save up for the ring she wants.

+1. Life is filled with things that people envision growing up but end up not being able to afford. Most people accept it