Fiancé wants a "nicer" engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

Run for the hills... When people show you who they really are, believe them.

She's not in love with you, she's in love with the idea of you [proposing to her with a 1+ carat diamond ring].

You deserve better and unfortunately, she thinks she does too.

[Anonymous]

The simple answer: you need a nicer fiancé, not a nicer ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is not marrying you for love. I wouldn't go through with it.

Neither of them are marrying the other for love.

Don’t go through with it.

[Anonymous]

I am not getting all these responses. It's entirely possible she has no idea how much he plans on spending and this is just her answer when he asked her what she liked. Why slam her and advise OP to dump her instead of... shocking... talking to her? Clearly she has redeeming qualities or he would not have proposed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not getting all these responses. It's entirely possible she has no idea how much he plans on spending and this is just her answer when he asked her what she liked. Why slam her and advise OP to dump her instead of... shocking... talking to her? Clearly she has redeeming qualities or he would not have proposed.

*would not have decided to propose

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not getting all these responses. It's entirely possible she has no idea how much he plans on spending and this is just her answer when he asked her what she liked. Why slam her and advise OP to dump her instead of... shocking... talking to her? Clearly she has redeeming qualities or he would not have proposed.

Ummm... he makes it pretty clear that she has explicitly stated she wants a *real* diamond of at least X.X carats and she wants it now, not later.

That is more than sufficient evidence to support all of these responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not getting all these responses. It's entirely possible she has no idea how much he plans on spending and this is just her answer when he asked her what she liked. Why slam her and advise OP to dump her instead of... shocking... talking to her? Clearly she has redeeming qualities or he would not have proposed.

Ummm... he makes it pretty clear that she has explicitly stated she wants a *real* diamond of at least X.X carats and she wants it now, not later.

That is more than sufficient evidence to support all of these responses.

Actually what he said was that he was planning to propose in January. He could have just asked her for a preference and she said she'd rather have a certain carat size of a ring now and would rather not upgrade. And if you search this board, most women and men in the comments are saying they want or have diamonds only and even say 1.5 carats "isn't big".

Nowhere did he say they discussed budget, or that he told her he was not able/willing to spend over the budget. If he did tell her the budget and she's insisting he spend more and is unwilling to chip in to get the ring she wants, I stand corrected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a very good chance she has no idea what the ring she's asking for would actually cost. You can just tell her your budget and take her shopping. If she really throws some kind of fit and demands a $20k ring, she's a monster and you should not propose. But this board is completely schizophrenic on this point - full of women bragging about their giant rocks and men insisting their wives have the biggest rings on earth, until they catch a whiff of a woman *asking* for the rings they insist they already have, then it's ::burn the witch:: consensus.

I have no dog in this fight but I know plenty of women who had ideas about what kind of ring they wanted based on conversations with girlfriends and looking at pictures in ads, but didn't actually comprehend what price point gets you which ring. Your fiancee may be that person.

OP, I would take her shopping before writing her and/or her request off. This PPP has a point. I was ADAMANT that I just wanted “a rock and a band”. When my now-DH took me shopping, I was completely underwhelmed by the plain, solitaire engagement rings, no matter what wedding band was paired with it.

A good friend told her now husband she wanted a bigger ring, when what she really wanted was a ring more suited to HER taste (slightly gaudy), not his taste (very understated).

Take her shopping/looking. I think presenting a grown woman with a ring she had no say in picking is outdated (Unless it’s an heirloom). Especially at the age folks get married now. If, after shopping, she insists she wants a ring out of your budget, then you have some decisions to make.

[Anonymous]

Dump her, dude. Seriously. She sounds like a shallow, materialistic, insecure person. You can do better. Or just buy no ring and if she says no, she’s doing you a favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is not marrying you for love. I wouldn't go through with it.

Yup. She probably just likes the idea of being married and having a wedding. Have fun planning with this lady and paying for her ridiculous standards. And just wait until you have kids. Good lord. Red flags all over.

[Anonymous]

You offered to buy and ring now and upgrade later and she balked at that? Run, run, run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not getting all these responses. It's entirely possible she has no idea how much he plans on spending and this is just her answer when he asked her what she liked. Why slam her and advise OP to dump her instead of... shocking... talking to her? Clearly she has redeeming qualities or he would not have proposed.

Ummm... he makes it pretty clear that she has explicitly stated she wants a *real* diamond of at least X.X carats and she wants it now, not later.

That is more than sufficient evidence to support all of these responses.

Actually what he said was that he was planning to propose in January. He could have just asked her for a preference and she said she'd rather have a certain carat size of a ring now and would rather not upgrade. And if you search this board, most women and men in the comments are saying they want or have diamonds only and even say 1.5 carats "isn't big".

Nowhere did he say they discussed budget, or that he told her he was not able/willing to spend over the budget. If he did tell her the budget and she's insisting he spend more and is unwilling to chip in to get the ring she wants, I stand corrected.

Okay, but if you read between the lines it's pretty clear...

Unless she's simply not that bright, which is a possibility, she has an idea of what her desired ring will cost and whether or not that is realistic given what she knows about her boyfriend thus far. Even if she were blissfully unaware of how much her preferred ring would cost, it still reeks of entitlement and says something about her.

It's one thing to have to explain to an 8 year old why they can't have something that's beyond the parent's means; you should not have to do that for a full grown woman whom you intend on proposing to.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe no one asked this question yet. How hot is she OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe no one asked this question yet. How hot is she OP?

Someone did ask LOL

No answer yet...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The simple answer: you need a nicer fiancé, not a nicer ring.

This.
Dump the girlfriend, then work on becoming the kind of person a nice woman would want to be with.