Fiancé wants a "nicer" engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the poorest quality, largest diamond you can buy?

Seriously.

I have a good quality 1 carat and it looks great. Most women I know with larger stones don’t even wear them after kids bc they aren’t practical.

PP didn't say "good" quality but "poorest quality" and sometimes they don't look great. People prioritize different things and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting or having a nice ring, but you have to be reasonable about your circumstances, too. What is she willing to sacrifice (big wedding, expensive dress, etc) or offer so it can be a reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The two of you need to have a much bigger money discussion. How will money be spent, saved? What's important--travel, home, kids, private schools, retirement, SAHP?

The ring is indicative that she has certain expectations. You may not financially be able to meet them. For both of you, it's better to know that now before getting married.

I agree with this 100%. My wife and I spend less than $1000 total on our rings, but have the same expensive taste in travel so we went big on the honeymoon. I think this is a larger question about values and not about the ring. Honestly, I have never understood spending anywhere close to a paycheck on a ring let alone however many months of salary the jewelry industry recommends. I found the right person for me and it works because our values on how we save and spend are aligned. If you all don't have enough knowledge of one another's finances, I think it may be premature for a proposal.

BTW- my wife is not the first woman I proposed to...I had an engagement that fell apart over something very similar during the wedding planning. I asked my father to help me make up some of the costs and he said "no". I never knew if it was because he couldn't or wouldn't help. When we talked about it many years later he said he had a gut feeling the engagement was wrong and we needed to be forced in to a serious conversation about something big because that is what makes a marriage last. It took me a long time to get over the engagement/relationship ending and the fact that my father wouldn't help me make it work. In retrospect, he saved me from a really bad choice. Hard lesson, but maybe you can take something from it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the poorest quality, largest diamond you can buy?

Seriously.

I have a good quality 1 carat and it looks great. Most women I know with larger stones don’t even wear them after kids bc they aren’t practical.

PP didn't say "good" quality but "poorest quality" and sometimes they don't look great. People prioritize different things and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting or having a nice ring, but you have to be reasonable about your circumstances, too. What is she willing to sacrifice (big wedding, expensive dress, etc) or offer so it can be a reality.

If she prioritizes size then honestly can anyone even tell the difference?

[Anonymous]

First world problems....

She needs to get over herself

[Anonymous]

Have you told any of your friends or family that what your buying isn't good enough? If not that says a lot. It is NOT ok for her to ask for more. You give her the ring, you propose she says yes or no. I guess she is going to say no because she doesn't like the ring.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Dump her and move on.

Just imagine this same discussion on...
...the wedding
...a house
...daycare
...schools
...vacations

= broke in no time.

[Anonymous]

Danger, Danger OP.

I'm a woman and my friends who were like this are now divorced. They usually forced their dh to "upgrade" their ring and pay more to buy them another after they were married a few years.

It's best if you and your fiance ring shop together and have a budget. If she can't find something she likes in the budget, things aren't looking good. If I wanted a large diamond, I wouldn't even mind a man made one that looks nice, like mossianite or something. Or buying a vintage ring. Or using or altering a family ring.

I mean, it is a ring she will probably wear for the rest of her life, so it's good to have something she likes and looks good. But if she can't compromise somehow on budget, it's not a good harbinger of things to come.

[Anonymous]

My dad gave my fiancee my mom's ring. Why didn't her parents have better jewelry to give?

[Anonymous]

And, my dh and I designed the ring together, looked at rings together. None of this "surprise" business. It's best to do things together and then stage a photo OP for everyone who wants a "surprise." Most women are happier picking out their own ring, but it does need to be in budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my fiancee my mom's ring. Why didn't her parents have better jewelry to give?

My parents just have plain gold bands that they wear on special occasions! Why did my poor husband even marry me?!

[Anonymous]

DW was in grad school and I wasn't making much when we were engaged- I bought her what I thought was a perfect ring. She insisted that we exchange it for something cheaper. You're starting a life together, that extra money in the bank (or not on a credit card) benefits both of you and she should see that too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Costco

https://www.costco.com/CatalogSearch?sortBy=PriceMin%7C0&refine=MIN_PRICE%253A%2528%257B5000%2B10000%257D%2B10000%2529%7C&keyword=diamond+ring&dept=All

Seriously - I have a costco ring and it was an amazing value - appraised for way more than we paid. I get complements all the time.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes life shows you the answer. You just need to be wise enough to recognize it. Think hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad gave my fiancee my mom's ring. Why didn't her parents have better jewelry to give?

My parents just have plain gold bands that they wear on special occasions! Why did my poor husband even marry me?!

Did you demand a huge diamond?

[Anonymous]

Go on pricescope.com forums. They can help get you the best option for the best price. Ideally your gf should pick out the ring. That’s the only way the details will be what she wants. For many women, their engagement/wedding rings are the only nice jewelry that they wear daily.