Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before you flame me please know that I feel awful about this and have truly changed. When I was an au pair I slept with my boss (it’s weird for me to say host dad)He was really sweet and his wife was awful. She would pick fights all the time and was disrespectful to people at work, in her family even to the kids and I. She used to go on business trips and girl trips all the time. A lot of times when she was away the kids would go to visit their grandparents. I stayed in the basement and one night went upstairs and we started talking and one thing led to another. We had an affair for months. He got really brave and would come down to my room when she went to bed. I thought I was in love with him and he told me he loved me. It become really awkward after a while. The closer we became, the more I annoyed I got when she was around. It become so unhealthy that I rematch and went across the country. After my year was up (back then you couldn’t extend) I came back to DC and I occasionally see them. They are still married. Anyway I see how horrible that was and I’m so sorry I ever got involved in that situation.

Don't feel bad. You gave the poor man a brief respite from the hell that was being married to his wife.

They’re still married ?! Yikes!! I wonder why.

Um, because she makes bank?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before you flame me please know that I feel awful about this and have truly changed. When I was an au pair I slept with my boss (it’s weird for me to say host dad)He was really sweet and his wife was awful. She would pick fights all the time and was disrespectful to people at work, in her family even to the kids and I. She used to go on business trips and girl trips all the time. A lot of times when she was away the kids would go to visit their grandparents. I stayed in the basement and one night went upstairs and we started talking and one thing led to another. We had an affair for months. He got really brave and would come down to my room when she went to bed. I thought I was in love with him and he told me he loved me. It become really awkward after a while. The closer we became, the more I annoyed I got when she was around. It become so unhealthy that I rematch and went across the country. After my year was up (back then you couldn’t extend) I came back to DC and I occasionally see them. They are still married. Anyway I see how horrible that was and I’m so sorry I ever got involved in that situation.

Don't feel bad. You gave the poor man a brief respite from the hell that was being married to his wife.

They’re still married ?! Yikes!! I wonder why.

Um, because she makes bank?

I'm betting this, plus that the nanny poster wasn't the only notch on the husband's bedpost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow also a former nanny here and all the dad did was leave toilets splattered with diarrhea and a million half full coffee cops around the house for kids to spill.

Right. I was a nanny for over a decade, including live in. It was for the most part quite mundane, and I had zero interest in getting with the children's' father. Although I was there for the kids, to do my job, so that might be the difference.

Seems like the Dads worth getting with could manage to handle their kids without needing a nanny.

The dads I worked for were good dads. Having a nanny has nothing to do with the quality of parenting. Anyway, my whole point was most nannies are there to do a job ( cre for the kids) support the parents, not boink the husbands and judge the wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow also a former nanny here and all the dad did was leave toilets splattered with diarrhea and a million half full coffee cops around the house for kids to spill.

Right. I was a nanny for over a decade, including live in. It was for the most part quite mundane, and I had zero interest in getting with the children's' father. Although I was there for the kids, to do my job, so that might be the difference.

Seems like the Dads worth getting with could manage to handle their kids without needing a nanny.

The dads I worked for were good dads. Having a nanny has nothing to do with the quality of parenting. Anyway, my whole point was most nannies are there to do a job ( cre for the kids) support the parents, not boink the husbands and judge the wives.

I was a nanny for one family for over three years and I agree with you. The mom and dad were great parents but both had serious jobs and really needed live in support. They were incredibly nice and generous to me and I worked really hard to earn that treatment. The dad was very boink-able but no way was I going to go there and given how close they were I’m sure there was plenty of boinking going on upstairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
1. Au Pair, don't feel bad. It sounds like you two had a fun time and you ended it when it became untenable. The wife got what she deserved in that situation.

2. The rest of you, relax. Rematches happen, people make mistakes, and, whether you accept it or not, the adulterer is sometimes not the one most at fault... move past all of it with maturity and grace. It's the best form of revenge.

3. And get the money.

I love the idea of having an Au Pair living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. Au Pair, don't feel bad. It sounds like you two had a fun time and you ended it when it became untenable. The wife got what she deserved in that situation.

2. The rest of you, relax. Rematches happen, people make mistakes, and, whether you accept it or not, the adulterer is sometimes not the one most at fault... move past all of it with maturity and grace. It's the best form of revenge.

3. And get the money.

I love the idea of having an Au Pair living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.

No way, really? You love the idea of a young woman living in your house that you can have extra-marital sex with? Stunning! Only 99.9% of men would like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. Au Pair, don't feel bad. It sounds like you two had a fun time and you ended it when it became untenable. The wife got what she deserved in that situation.

2. The rest of you, relax. Rematches happen, people make mistakes, and, whether you accept it or not, the adulterer is sometimes not the one most at fault... move past all of it with maturity and grace. It's the best form of revenge.

3. And get the money.

I love the idea of having an Au Pair living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.

You know she's a human with feelings and expectations, right? To you, she's nothing more than a hole to make YOU happy. What do you have to offer to her other than crappy, fast and quiet sex so you won't wake up the mommy boss upstairs? You can't take her out anywhere, you can't buy her gifts, you can't take her on vacations. The PP response should be a wake up call to all the young women to look for someone young and available to make you happy. Or at least someone wealthy who is not scared to divorce his wife who is making the $.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. Au Pair, don't feel bad. It sounds like you two had a fun time and you ended it when it became untenable. The wife got what she deserved in that situation.

2. The rest of you, relax. Rematches happen, people make mistakes, and, whether you accept it or not, the adulterer is sometimes not the one most at fault... move past all of it with maturity and grace. It's the best form of revenge.

3. And get the money.

I love the idea of having an Au Pair living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.

You know she's a human with feelings and expectations, right? To you, she's nothing more than a hole to make YOU happy. What do you have to offer to her other than crappy, fast and quiet sex so you won't wake up the mommy boss upstairs? You can't take her out anywhere, you can't buy her gifts, you can't take her on vacations. The PP response should be a wake up call to all the young women to look for someone young and available to make you happy. Or at least someone wealthy who is not scared to divorce his wife who is making the $.

A lot of Au Pairs are troubled and home sick. They are very young and immature. Of course, they see host dad as 'father figure'. Any 'daddy issues' they bring with them and this is an absolute disaster in the making.

Also, certain countries are fraught with problems with their Au Pairs.

That said, I have a friend that was an Au Pair and a wonderful one. Very professional with loads of integrity that would never even think of sleeping with the husband. She told me quite a few doozy stories that made me never want to hire an Au Pair. I work from home so had a nanny come into the house when the kids were mall. Nanny was my age, college degree, and zero interest in my husband. In fact, he rarely saw her because she left around the time he got home from work.

It's always a running joke about 'sleeping with the nanny'. I mean--look at Jude Law and Ben Affleck. I don't think looks have anything to do with men sleeping with people that work in the home--it's opportunity and something wrong with the men--think of Arnold and the housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

I love the idea of having an "underpaid employee two decades my junior with whom I can have a predatory sexual relationship", I mean, Au Pair, living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.

Fixed that for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTH did you people grow up?!?!!

I grew up in the 70s/80s and all the parents on our cul-de-sec never cheated with one another and are all still good friends—in their 70s now.

Everyone is married to first spouse. No divorces on our street.

Hate to break it to you, but that is a neighborhood of swingers.

Yep. I'm foreign-born, but both my ex-bf (from Midwest) and my H (from DMV area) told me that they were swingers parents in their UMC suburban neighborhoods in the 70s and 80s. There's still a lot of swinging going on in the retired communites, especially in Florida. My generation grew up with Freddie Mercury's death as we entered puberty and the AIDS epidemic, so we're not as enthusiastic about it. I was actually joking with my H that swinging might be in our future when we move to FL in 20 years and there's a cure to STDs. To me, swinging is much more ethical than cheating.

[Anonymous]

I had an affair with my 20 year old neighbor during my starter marriage (no kids).

It was awesome. I'll always remember it fondly. He is so freaking hot. He really loved me, i wasn't quite as into him emotionally but our sex was amazing. Way better than my opioid-addicted ex who could rarely even perform. I was mentally checked out and planning to leave the marriage, only stayed for logistical reasons at the time. We were divorced within a year or so of starting the affair. Ex never found out. Sometimes I wonder why it was all so easy for me. I really have no regrets.

I'm remarried now and have children with my husband. I would never cheat on him, but I have considered leaving him several times, not for anyone else though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. Au Pair, don't feel bad. It sounds like you two had a fun time and you ended it when it became untenable. The wife got what she deserved in that situation.

2. The rest of you, relax. Rematches happen, people make mistakes, and, whether you accept it or not, the adulterer is sometimes not the one most at fault... move past all of it with maturity and grace. It's the best form of revenge.

3. And get the money.

I love the idea of having an Au Pair living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.

You know she's a human with feelings and expectations, right? To you, she's nothing more than a hole to make YOU happy. What do you have to offer to her other than crappy, fast and quiet sex so you won't wake up the mommy boss upstairs? You can't take her out anywhere, you can't buy her gifts, you can't take her on vacations. The PP response should be a wake up call to all the young women to look for someone young and available to make you happy. Or at least someone wealthy who is not scared to divorce his wife who is making the $.

A lot of Au Pairs are troubled and home sick. They are very young and immature. Of course, they see host dad as 'father figure'. Any 'daddy issues' they bring with them and this is an absolute disaster in the making.

Also, certain countries are fraught with problems with their Au Pairs.

That said, I have a friend that was an Au Pair and a wonderful one. Very professional with loads of integrity that would never even think of sleeping with the husband. She told me quite a few doozy stories that made me never want to hire an Au Pair. I work from home so had a nanny come into the house when the kids were mall. Nanny was my age, college degree, and zero interest in my husband. In fact, he rarely saw her because she left around the time he got home from work.

It's always a running joke about 'sleeping with the nanny'. I mean--look at Jude Law and Ben Affleck. I don't think looks have anything to do with men sleeping with people that work in the home--it's opportunity and something wrong with the men--think of Arnold and the housekeeper.

Yes, but all these men are fabulously wealthy and famous and the nannies got lots of $ from the celebrities and/or tabloids. Not so much from the Bethesda broke a** dad who stays with his working wife for $. So, in part, I can understand why the nanny would sleep with a celebrity. When I was younger I dated a much older, wealthy, single guy and it was fun, although I knew it was not long-term due to his age. But again, he was single and took me to a lot of great places and bought me some wonderful jewelry. All I'm saying is that married broke dads have nothing to offer to a young woman other than a tired p***s and a dad body. The au Pair can do much much better in terms of man quality.

And to the nanny working for dads with bathroom issues, I'm sorry. We didn't ask ours to clean up the bathrooms for exactly the same reason, we have a cleaning crew. I don’t get the obsession with pooping, phone on the toilet, and the ritual around pooping at all. Is this a testosterone thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an affair with my 20 year old neighbor during my starter marriage (no kids).

It was awesome. I'll always remember it fondly. He is so freaking hot. He really loved me, i wasn't quite as into him emotionally but our sex was amazing. Way better than my opioid-addicted ex who could rarely even perform. I was mentally checked out and planning to leave the marriage, only stayed for logistical reasons at the time. We were divorced within a year or so of starting the affair. Ex never found out. Sometimes I wonder why it was all so easy for me. I really have no regrets.

I'm remarried now and have children with my husband. I would never cheat on him, but I have considered leaving him several times, not for anyone else though.

"Starter marriage"? Oh please. That's awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. Au Pair, don't feel bad. It sounds like you two had a fun time and you ended it when it became untenable. The wife got what she deserved in that situation.

2. The rest of you, relax. Rematches happen, people make mistakes, and, whether you accept it or not, the adulterer is sometimes not the one most at fault... move past all of it with maturity and grace. It's the best form of revenge.

3. And get the money.

I love the idea of having an Au Pair living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.

You know she's a human with feelings and expectations, right? To you, she's nothing more than a hole to make YOU happy. What do you have to offer to her other than crappy, fast and quiet sex so you won't wake up the mommy boss upstairs? You can't take her out anywhere, you can't buy her gifts, you can't take her on vacations. The PP response should be a wake up call to all the young women to look for someone young and available to make you happy. Or at least someone wealthy who is not scared to divorce his wife who is making the $.

A lot of Au Pairs are troubled and home sick. They are very young and immature. Of course, they see host dad as 'father figure'. Any 'daddy issues' they bring with them and this is an absolute disaster in the making.

Also, certain countries are fraught with problems with their Au Pairs.

That said, I have a friend that was an Au Pair and a wonderful one. Very professional with loads of integrity that would never even think of sleeping with the husband. She told me quite a few doozy stories that made me never want to hire an Au Pair. I work from home so had a nanny come into the house when the kids were mall. Nanny was my age, college degree, and zero interest in my husband. In fact, he rarely saw her because she left around the time he got home from work.

It's always a running joke about 'sleeping with the nanny'. I mean--look at Jude Law and Ben Affleck. I don't think looks have anything to do with men sleeping with people that work in the home--it's opportunity and something wrong with the men--think of Arnold and the housekeeper.

Yes, but all these men are fabulously wealthy and famous and the nannies got lots of $ from the celebrities and/or tabloids. Not so much from the Bethesda broke a** dad who stays with his working wife for $. So, in part, I can understand why the nanny would sleep with a celebrity. When I was younger I dated a much older, wealthy, single guy and it was fun, although I knew it was not long-term due to his age. But again, he was single and took me to a lot of great places and bought me some wonderful jewelry. All I'm saying is that married broke dads have nothing to offer to a young woman other than a tired p***s and a dad body. The au Pair can do much much better in terms of man quality.

And to the nanny working for dads with bathroom issues, I'm sorry. We didn't ask ours to clean up the bathrooms for exactly the same reason, we have a cleaning crew. I don’t get the obsession with pooping, phone on the toilet, and the ritual around pooping at all. Is this a testosterone thing?

Hey--you are preaching to the choir. I completely agree. I am 50-years old and never cheated on anyone in my entire life. It goes against my morals and integrity. I am just presenting the psychology of why it's fairly frequent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. Au Pair, don't feel bad. It sounds like you two had a fun time and you ended it when it became untenable. The wife got what she deserved in that situation.

2. The rest of you, relax. Rematches happen, people make mistakes, and, whether you accept it or not, the adulterer is sometimes not the one most at fault... move past all of it with maturity and grace. It's the best form of revenge.

3. And get the money.

I love the idea of having an Au Pair living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.

You know she's a human with feelings and expectations, right? To you, she's nothing more than a hole to make YOU happy. What do you have to offer to her other than crappy, fast and quiet sex so you won't wake up the mommy boss upstairs? You can't take her out anywhere, you can't buy her gifts, you can't take her on vacations. The PP response should be a wake up call to all the young women to look for someone young and available to make you happy. Or at least someone wealthy who is not scared to divorce his wife who is making the $.

I mean, I don't approve of extramarital affairs in general or having sex with younger employees. That said, this response is pretty dismissive of the idea that she might want superficial sex just the same as the guy does. Despite the dated stereotypes, women aren't asexual beings who don't have sex for its own sake but only to get other stuff (e.g. dinners, gifts, vacations) from guys.