Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before you flame me please know that I feel awful about this and have truly changed. When I was an au pair I slept with my boss (it’s weird for me to say host dad)He was really sweet and his wife was awful. She would pick fights all the time and was disrespectful to people at work, in her family even to the kids and I. She used to go on business trips and girl trips all the time. A lot of times when she was away the kids would go to visit their grandparents. I stayed in the basement and one night went upstairs and we started talking and one thing led to another. We had an affair for months. He got really brave and would come down to my room when she went to bed. I thought I was in love with him and he told me he loved me. It become really awkward after a while. The closer we became, the more I annoyed I got when she was around. It become so unhealthy that I rematch and went across the country. After my year was up (back then you couldn’t extend) I came back to DC and I occasionally see them. They are still married. Anyway I see how horrible that was and I’m so sorry I ever got involved in that situation.

You were annoyed by her. The gall of you. You are a horrible person.

DP. And you probably think you’re not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom did this starting when I was 12. I found out on my own when I was 16. Total shitshow, two divorces, his kids are a wreck. He is a loser but he caters to my mom's every wish. It blew up friendships, carpools, the governing board of the town, everything. They are still together and it sucks.

Sorry. People like this suck. The epitome of selfishness and dysfunction.

I always wonder if people who are selfish enough to do this find it’s worth when lives are ruined. I wonder how long the two jerks stay together before admitting failure and regretting their decision. I’m so surprised your mom and this loser are still together.

Lives ruined because carpool ended? If they're still together, maybe they're a far better match than their first spouses. We don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before you flame me please know that I feel awful about this and have truly changed. When I was an au pair I slept with my boss (it’s weird for me to say host dad)He was really sweet and his wife was awful. She would pick fights all the time and was disrespectful to people at work, in her family even to the kids and I. She used to go on business trips and girl trips all the time. A lot of times when she was away the kids would go to visit their grandparents. I stayed in the basement and one night went upstairs and we started talking and one thing led to another. We had an affair for months. He got really brave and would come down to my room when she went to bed. I thought I was in love with him and he told me he loved me. It become really awkward after a while. The closer we became, the more I annoyed I got when she was around. It become so unhealthy that I rematch and went across the country. After my year was up (back then you couldn’t extend) I came back to DC and I occasionally see them. They are still married. Anyway I see how horrible that was and I’m so sorry I ever got involved in that situation.

Wow, where was this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom did this starting when I was 12. I found out on my own when I was 16. Total shitshow, two divorces, his kids are a wreck. He is a loser but he caters to my mom's every wish. It blew up friendships, carpools, the governing board of the town, everything. They are still together and it sucks.

Sorry. People like this suck. The epitome of selfishness and dysfunction.

I always wonder if people who are selfish enough to do this find it’s worth when lives are ruined. I wonder how long the two jerks stay together before admitting failure and regretting their decision. I’m so surprised your mom and this loser are still together.

Lives ruined because carpool ended? If they're still together, maybe they're a far better match than their first spouses. We don't know.

Maybe but that's not how you go about it. Yes, lives are ruined by affairs. Don't try to pretend they're not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom did this starting when I was 12. I found out on my own when I was 16. Total shitshow, two divorces, his kids are a wreck. He is a loser but he caters to my mom's every wish. It blew up friendships, carpools, the governing board of the town, everything. They are still together and it sucks.

Sorry. People like this suck. The epitome of selfishness and dysfunction.

I always wonder if people who are selfish enough to do this find it’s worth when lives are ruined. I wonder how long the two jerks stay together before admitting failure and regretting their decision. I’m so surprised your mom and this loser are still together.

Lives ruined because carpool ended? If they're still together, maybe they're a far better match than their first spouses. We don't know.

Well, lives were not ruined. But it was a major hassle. This was a really, really small town and the two men were on the 3-person town board, so that fell apart. It was truly stunning to me to realize, as a 16-year-old, that what my mother presented to me as a new post-separation relationship was in fact a 4-year affair, and that my mother had been lying to my face about various logistical things for the past four years. I felt betrayed by him as well because he had been, literally since my birth, a trusted adult, as the father of one of my best friends. The affair was widely known in town and it was humiliating to me to be the last to know. It has definitely caused me to be a more suspicious and cynical person, because if you can't trust your mom, you can't trust anyone.

She is still with him, but I'm not sure they are such a great match. They've broken up and gotten back together several times, first because he would not get a divorce, then because of his chronic unemployment and financial mooching, and general inability to manage adult life very well on his own. He does understand what my father did not, which is that women like men who treat them with courtesy and respect. But he's a total pushover and a loser in lots of other ways. Our relationship is okayish now, but I still opt out of spending time with this guy and his family, and she tries every few years to manipulate me into doing it. Sometimes she even tries to get my dad to spend time with the guy, and he always refuses, but she just can't give up on the dream of a happy modern blended family. Looking back, I think the underlying problem is that she's kind of insane and tends to live in a fantasy world.

Her AP's son, formerly one of my closest friends literally from infancy, went all to drugs and while that might have happened anyway, this clearly did not help. A boy-girl friendship at that age is a sensitive thing, and it could not withstand the difficult situation. I tried to keep my knowledge secret from him for about 6 months and then he also discovered it on his own by snooping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine told me she slept with her neighbor! She said it was amazing, and thrilling and maybe it was the sneaking around part, but she said she is head over heels for this man! They met because she’s a SAHM and she usually walks around the neighborhood with her kid. He just happened to be out doing yard work and her kid wanted to pet his dog. He is also married with a family of his own. She started to notice him more, and before she knew it, she found herself going near his street more and she noticed him near hers. Her husband travels for work, and the guy seems really handy, so he went over to fix something and before long things happened between them. I don’t know how to feel for her. She has a great husband. That much I know. I also know that at times she has felt trapped. I’m sure when this is all over, she will feel like sh*^. For now I just listen and try not to judge. This got me wondering if anyone has ever slept with a neighbor of theirs or a mutual friend and what happened? ..

Oh, I think it's gonna be a lot worse than feeling like sh*t. Her life is totally F- now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before you flame me please know that I feel awful about this and have truly changed. When I was an au pair I slept with my boss (it’s weird for me to say host dad)He was really sweet and his wife was awful. She would pick fights all the time and was disrespectful to people at work, in her family even to the kids and I. She used to go on business trips and girl trips all the time. A lot of times when she was away the kids would go to visit their grandparents. I stayed in the basement and one night went upstairs and we started talking and one thing led to another. We had an affair for months. He got really brave and would come down to my room when she went to bed. I thought I was in love with him and he told me he loved me. It become really awkward after a while. The closer we became, the more I annoyed I got when she was around. It become so unhealthy that I rematch and went across the country. After my year was up (back then you couldn’t extend) I came back to DC and I occasionally see them. They are still married. Anyway I see how horrible that was and I’m so sorry I ever got involved in that situation.

You were annoyed by her. The gall of you. You are a horrible person.

She's not the one who was married, with a sleeping spouse and kids upstairs. He was. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before you flame me please know that I feel awful about this and have truly changed. When I was an au pair I slept with my boss (it’s weird for me to say host dad)He was really sweet and his wife was awful. She would pick fights all the time and was disrespectful to people at work, in her family even to the kids and I. She used to go on business trips and girl trips all the time. A lot of times when she was away the kids would go to visit their grandparents. I stayed in the basement and one night went upstairs and we started talking and one thing led to another. We had an affair for months. He got really brave and would come down to my room when she went to bed. I thought I was in love with him and he told me he loved me. It become really awkward after a while. The closer we became, the more I annoyed I got when she was around. It become so unhealthy that I rematch and went across the country. After my year was up (back then you couldn’t extend) I came back to DC and I occasionally see them. They are still married. Anyway I see how horrible that was and I’m so sorry I ever got involved in that situation.

Don't feel bad. You gave the poor man a brief respite from the hell that was being married to his wife.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a bad porno I saw once. Won’t end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom did this starting when I was 12. I found out on my own when I was 16. Total shitshow, two divorces, his kids are a wreck. He is a loser but he caters to my mom's every wish. It blew up friendships, carpools, the governing board of the town, everything. They are still together and it sucks.

Sorry. People like this suck. The epitome of selfishness and dysfunction.

I always wonder if people who are selfish enough to do this find it’s worth when lives are ruined. I wonder how long the two jerks stay together before admitting failure and regretting their decision. I’m so surprised your mom and this loser are still together.

Lives ruined because carpool ended? If they're still together, maybe they're a far better match than their first spouses. We don't know.

Well, lives were not ruined. But it was a major hassle. This was a really, really small town and the two men were on the 3-person town board, so that fell apart. It was truly stunning to me to realize, as a 16-year-old, that what my mother presented to me as a new post-separation relationship was in fact a 4-year affair, and that my mother had been lying to my face about various logistical things for the past four years. I felt betrayed by him as well because he had been, literally since my birth, a trusted adult, as the father of one of my best friends. The affair was widely known in town and it was humiliating to me to be the last to know. It has definitely caused me to be a more suspicious and cynical person, because if you can't trust your mom, you can't trust anyone.

She is still with him, but I'm not sure they are such a great match. They've broken up and gotten back together several times, first because he would not get a divorce, then because of his chronic unemployment and financial mooching, and general inability to manage adult life very well on his own. He does understand what my father did not, which is that women like men who treat them with courtesy and respect. But he's a total pushover and a loser in lots of other ways. Our relationship is okayish now, but I still opt out of spending time with this guy and his family, and she tries every few years to manipulate me into doing it. Sometimes she even tries to get my dad to spend time with the guy, and he always refuses, but she just can't give up on the dream of a happy modern blended family. Looking back, I think the underlying problem is that she's kind of insane and tends to live in a fantasy world.

Her AP's son, formerly one of my closest friends literally from infancy, went all to drugs and while that might have happened anyway, this clearly did not help. A boy-girl friendship at that age is a sensitive thing, and it could not withstand the difficult situation. I tried to keep my knowledge secret from him for about 6 months and then he also discovered it on his own by snooping.

Ah- definitely sounds like lives were ruined into the next generation—AP’s son, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before you flame me please know that I feel awful about this and have truly changed. When I was an au pair I slept with my boss (it’s weird for me to say host dad)He was really sweet and his wife was awful. She would pick fights all the time and was disrespectful to people at work, in her family even to the kids and I. She used to go on business trips and girl trips all the time. A lot of times when she was away the kids would go to visit their grandparents. I stayed in the basement and one night went upstairs and we started talking and one thing led to another. We had an affair for months. He got really brave and would come down to my room when she went to bed. I thought I was in love with him and he told me he loved me. It become really awkward after a while. The closer we became, the more I annoyed I got when she was around. It become so unhealthy that I rematch and went across the country. After my year was up (back then you couldn’t extend) I came back to DC and I occasionally see them. They are still married. Anyway I see how horrible that was and I’m so sorry I ever got involved in that situation.

Don't feel bad. You gave the poor man a brief respite from the hell that was being married to his wife.

They’re still married ?! Yikes!! I wonder why.

[Anonymous]

1. Au Pair, don't feel bad. It sounds like you two had a fun time and you ended it when it became untenable. The wife got what she deserved in that situation.

2. The rest of you, relax. Rematches happen, people make mistakes, and, whether you accept it or not, the adulterer is sometimes not the one most at fault... move past all of it with maturity and grace. It's the best form of revenge.

3. And get the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom did this starting when I was 12. I found out on my own when I was 16. Total shitshow, two divorces, his kids are a wreck. He is a loser but he caters to my mom's every wish. It blew up friendships, carpools, the governing board of the town, everything. They are still together and it sucks.

Sorry. People like this suck. The epitome of selfishness and dysfunction.

I always wonder if people who are selfish enough to do this find it’s worth when lives are ruined. I wonder how long the two jerks stay together before admitting failure and regretting their decision. I’m so surprised your mom and this loser are still together.

Lives ruined because carpool ended? If they're still together, maybe they're a far better match than their first spouses. We don't know.

Well, lives were not ruined. But it was a major hassle. This was a really, really small town and the two men were on the 3-person town board, so that fell apart. It was truly stunning to me to realize, as a 16-year-old, that what my mother presented to me as a new post-separation relationship was in fact a 4-year affair, and that my mother had been lying to my face about various logistical things for the past four years. I felt betrayed by him as well because he had been, literally since my birth, a trusted adult, as the father of one of my best friends. The affair was widely known in town and it was humiliating to me to be the last to know. It has definitely caused me to be a more suspicious and cynical person, because if you can't trust your mom, you can't trust anyone.

She is still with him, but I'm not sure they are such a great match. They've broken up and gotten back together several times, first because he would not get a divorce, then because of his chronic unemployment and financial mooching, and general inability to manage adult life very well on his own. He does understand what my father did not, which is that women like men who treat them with courtesy and respect. But he's a total pushover and a loser in lots of other ways. Our relationship is okayish now, but I still opt out of spending time with this guy and his family, and she tries every few years to manipulate me into doing it. Sometimes she even tries to get my dad to spend time with the guy, and he always refuses, but she just can't give up on the dream of a happy modern blended family. Looking back, I think the underlying problem is that she's kind of insane and tends to live in a fantasy world.

Her AP's son, formerly one of my closest friends literally from infancy, went all to drugs and while that might have happened anyway, this clearly did not help. A boy-girl friendship at that age is a sensitive thing, and it could not withstand the difficult situation. I tried to keep my knowledge secret from him for about 6 months and then he also discovered it on his own by snooping.

Ah- definitely sounds like lives were ruined into the next generation—AP’s son, etc.

Well, it is hard to draw causality from the affair specifically. There were other problems and he might have turned to drugs either way. However, spending a lot if time banging my mom in a cheap hotel is not a good parenting approach when your child is going off the rails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before you flame me please know that I feel awful about this and have truly changed. When I was an au pair I slept with my boss (it’s weird for me to say host dad)He was really sweet and his wife was awful. She would pick fights all the time and was disrespectful to people at work, in her family even to the kids and I. She used to go on business trips and girl trips all the time. A lot of times when she was away the kids would go to visit their grandparents. I stayed in the basement and one night went upstairs and we started talking and one thing led to another. We had an affair for months. He got really brave and would come down to my room when she went to bed. I thought I was in love with him and he told me he loved me. It become really awkward after a while. The closer we became, the more I annoyed I got when she was around. It become so unhealthy that I rematch and went across the country. After my year was up (back then you couldn’t extend) I came back to DC and I occasionally see them. They are still married. Anyway I see how horrible that was and I’m so sorry I ever got involved in that situation.

You were annoyed by her. The gall of you. You are a horrible person.

DP. And you probably think you’re not?

You are right! I don’t think I’m a horrible person but I do think sleeping with him was a horrible thing to do. I wish that it didn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before you flame me please know that I feel awful about this and have truly changed. When I was an au pair I slept with my boss (it’s weird for me to say host dad)He was really sweet and his wife was awful. She would pick fights all the time and was disrespectful to people at work, in her family even to the kids and I. She used to go on business trips and girl trips all the time. A lot of times when she was away the kids would go to visit their grandparents. I stayed in the basement and one night went upstairs and we started talking and one thing led to another. We had an affair for months. He got really brave and would come down to my room when she went to bed. I thought I was in love with him and he told me he loved me. It become really awkward after a while. The closer we became, the more I annoyed I got when she was around. It become so unhealthy that I rematch and went across the country. After my year was up (back then you couldn’t extend) I came back to DC and I occasionally see them. They are still married. Anyway I see how horrible that was and I’m so sorry I ever got involved in that situation.

Don't feel bad. You gave the poor man a brief respite from the hell that was being married to his wife.

They’re still married ?! Yikes!! I wonder why.

They are still married but I know for a fact that they sleep in separate bedrooms. I don’t know the story behind why they are still together but they really should get a divorce. They are clearly not happy. The youngest just went off to college so things will be interesting.