What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?

[Anonymous]

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Fish.

[Anonymous]

The snappy comebacks joke is awesome but way too long to type. You have to find someone who knows it.


Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

Why did the dead monkey cross the road?

Because it was stapled to the chicken.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell you a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline is too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream two scoops of dead baby.

I can’t imagine anyone finding this the least bit funny.

[Anonymous]

Two hunters are walking in the woods when suddenly one of them collapses, so the other one calls 911 and says “Help I think my friend died” so the operator says “First make sure he is dead” then a gunshot is heard and the guy comes back and says “ok now what”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell you a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline is too long.

Brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream two scoops of dead baby.

I can’t imagine anyone finding this the least bit funny.

It’s funny. I must be one of those dark humor people.

[Anonymous]

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books. He's only got his shelf to blame

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A holocaust joke - I am careful who I repeat it to.

There is No. Such. Thing.
WTAF is the matter with you.

What about this one...
Holocaust jokes are tasteless, anne frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself (works better said than written!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all don't see the difference in ragging on religions and making fun of religions in general, and the f-ing Holocaust?? There's a difference. "Jew jokes" and "Jesus jokes" can still be funny, but there is absolutely nothing funny about the Holocaust. There just isn't. OK, yes, I'm a Debbie downer, but this is insane that it has to be said at all.

You cannot control others’ sense of humor. If they think it’s funny, scolding them is not going to stop them from finding it amusing.

My mom always says “you either laugh or you cry”. I choose to laugh.
Signed,
Someone with relatives who survived the Holocaust.

Uh, you get that some people have relatives who DIDN’T survive, who may feel differently?

So because of that no one can tell the jokes? Even if some find them funny?

There are different kinds of humor. Jokes about the Holocaust or some other very serious event aren't haha funny jokes, they are usually examples of very dry, dark wit. You have to be a dry wit person with a twisted sense of humor to get them. They definitely are not for everyone. People who work in prisons or psych wards also often have similar very dark, dry wit jokes that you only tell to other people who will get it.

So who "gets" Holocaust jokes? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all don't see the difference in ragging on religions and making fun of religions in general, and the f-ing Holocaust?? There's a difference. "Jew jokes" and "Jesus jokes" can still be funny, but there is absolutely nothing funny about the Holocaust. There just isn't. OK, yes, I'm a Debbie downer, but this is insane that it has to be said at all.

You cannot control others’ sense of humor. If they think it’s funny, scolding them is not going to stop them from finding it amusing.

My mom always says “you either laugh or you cry”. I choose to laugh.
Signed,
Someone with relatives who survived the Holocaust.

Uh, you get that some people have relatives who DIDN’T survive, who may feel differently?

So because of that no one can tell the jokes? Even if some find them funny?

There are different kinds of humor. Jokes about the Holocaust or some other very serious event aren't haha funny jokes, they are usually examples of very dry, dark wit. You have to be a dry wit person with a twisted sense of humor to get them. They definitely are not for everyone. People who work in prisons or psych wards also often have similar very dark, dry wit jokes that you only tell to other people who will get it.

So who "gets" Holocaust jokes? Just curious.

The Ricky Gervais of the world. Other people with dark, witty, dry senses of humor. It is the same with jokes about 9/11 or anything that is horrific. It isn't the event that is funny, it is the wittiness of the joke and the ability of the joke teller to make it comedic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream two scoops of dead baby.

I can’t imagine anyone finding this the least bit funny.

It’s funny. I must be one of those dark humor people.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends how hard you throw them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell you a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline is too long.

I'm snorting with laughter while looking around guiltily. Thanks for this one.

[Anonymous]

-when he says he doesn't believe in astrology but you already knew he would say that because his Mercury is in Capricorn


-*is out with gemini friend* table for 3 please


-Jesus not a Capricorn foh lmao name a Capricorn who would die for you ?

I'll wait


-How does the government remember the difference between Astronomy and Astrology?

Simple.

Just like with "Eco-", you don't consider it a science if it ends with "-logy"


-horoscope: taurus breathes air to survive
me, a taurus: wtfff that is so me im so freaked out right now you guys horoscopes are my religion


-

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all don't see the difference in ragging on religions and making fun of religions in general, and the f-ing Holocaust?? There's a difference. "Jew jokes" and "Jesus jokes" can still be funny, but there is absolutely nothing funny about the Holocaust. There just isn't. OK, yes, I'm a Debbie downer, but this is insane that it has to be said at all.

You cannot control others’ sense of humor. If they think it’s funny, scolding them is not going to stop them from finding it amusing.

My mom always says “you either laugh or you cry”. I choose to laugh.
Signed,
Someone with relatives who survived the Holocaust.

Uh, you get that some people have relatives who DIDN’T survive, who may feel differently?

So because of that no one can tell the jokes? Even if some find them funny?

There are different kinds of humor. Jokes about the Holocaust or some other very serious event aren't haha funny jokes, they are usually examples of very dry, dark wit. You have to be a dry wit person with a twisted sense of humor to get them. They definitely are not for everyone. People who work in prisons or psych wards also often have similar very dark, dry wit jokes that you only tell to other people who will get it.

So who "gets" Holocaust jokes? Just curious.

The Ricky Gervais of the world. Other people with dark, witty, dry senses of humor. It is the same with jokes about 9/11 or anything that is horrific. It isn't the event that is funny, it is the wittiness of the joke and the ability of the joke teller to make it comedic.

With so much build up, this joke better be amazing ... if there even is a joke.