What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?

[Anonymous]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no-one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who reads what paper...........


1.The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2.The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3.The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4.USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times.

5.The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8.The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9.The Chicago Tribune is read by people that are in prison that used to run the state, & would like to do so again, as would their constituents that are currently free on bail.

10.The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

11.The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists, and those who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

12.The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

13.The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

Playboy is read by people who don't care who's running the Country as long as she's got nice tits!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did the Chinese Janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

Seriously? Racist and not even remotely funny.

Dude, I am chinese, and that one had me literally LOL!

I'm also Chinese and found it cute. I goes along with these:

Did you hear about the fat person? They had more Chins than a Chinese phone book.

How to Chinese name their children? They drop their silverware.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

My Dad knew a old Chinese immigrant name Abraham Goldstein. He asked the guy how he got the name. The man told him he came through Ellis Island. The immigration agent asked the man in front of him what his name was and the man in front said "Abraham Goldstein." The agent let him through. Then the agent asked this man what his name was. He answered "Sam Ting".

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

I am literally dying on this one.