DS Suffers Socially Because His Mom Doesn't Make friends With Other Moms

[Anonymous]

OP - do what I did. My ex-wife was, sadly, a lousy mother but she got primary custody of our two children who were 5 and 7 at the time. She was pretty non social so the kids were mostly homebound except every other weekend when they were with me. After about a year or so of her being miserable being the sole parent she asked that I take over the primary custody role which I was happy to do and the kids were happy as well. Thanks to the support of parents at school my kids have become very active with after school things, sports and dance classes. Trying to keep track of their schedules and chauffeuring them around keeps me pretty busy and I'm really thankful for those who help me out.

[Anonymous]

OP, please consider being more involved and then trying to get custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - do what I did. My ex-wife was, sadly, a lousy mother but she got primary custody of our two children who were 5 and 7 at the time. She was pretty non social so the kids were mostly homebound except every other weekend when they were with me. After about a year or so of her being miserable being the sole parent she asked that I take over the primary custody role which I was happy to do and the kids were happy as well. Thanks to the support of parents at school my kids have become very active with after school things, sports and dance classes. Trying to keep track of their schedules and chauffeuring them around keeps me pretty busy and I'm really thankful for those who help me out.

Quick question - do you think those folks were as helpful when your ex had primary custody? Or did they only step in to help when it was a father trying to balance single parenthood, a job, and all of the other responsibilities?

[Anonymous]

Time to step up and be a parent. Whatever you would do if she died in a car crash, do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that the posters state that since the wife works she is too busy to help the kids social life but those same people expect OP who we presume is employed to be able to handle the social life.

Smells like female hypocrisy. How shocking.

The difference is the wefe isnt on here complaining about what dad doesnt do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The hate doesn't surprise me, tbh. It just proves I'm right.

I already coach his baseball team. My ex does nothing. She's a loser and a bad mom so I was asking for help to get her to be a better mom. Apparently that touched a few nerves. lol.

Oh, honey. The only nerve that's touched is yours. Roll up the sleeves and take responsibility for your own child.

+1, you are rotten person for speaking about her like that and coaching the team is not for your son, but you and the group. That's not helping to be a better mom. Helping her is making sure she has enough money, your son has everything he needs at her house, and making sure if she cannot take him places, you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The hate doesn't surprise me, tbh. It just proves I'm right.

I already coach his baseball team. My ex does nothing. She's a loser and a bad mom so I was asking for help to get her to be a better mom. Apparently that touched a few nerves. lol.

You screwed up by marrying a loser.

You fixed that by divorcing her.

Unfortunately, you can't fix her or change the fact that she is the mother of your child. You will have to make up where she is lacking. Perhaps you can get sole custody and hire a nanny/personal assistant to do some of what you need done.

+1

+1 isn't this what moms with deadbeat ex-husbands do.. compensate for the lacking parent? That's what my sister has done with her deadbeat ex.

Why are assuming this mol is a deadbeat, a lacking parent etc? WTH? I’m also a mom who works FT and is not in “junior league” (is anyone in that anymore!?) - I think those criteria apply to most moms on this board.

My kids attend aftercare 4 days a week and are enrolled in an activity pretty much every season. We do play dates sometimes as well- on the weekends. I don’t go out of my way to do more than that- both kids are thriving and happy and I am not a “deadbeat”.

OP if she works, does your son go to aftercare?? And you said he plays baseball..between aftercare and baseball he is getting plenty of socializing. If you want to play social climber/social engineer do it on your own time with your DS. She doesn’t appear to want to and thst is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The hate doesn't surprise me, tbh. It just proves I'm right.

I already coach his baseball team. My ex does nothing. She's a loser and a bad mom so I was asking for help to get her to be a better mom. Apparently that touched a few nerves. lol.

Oh, honey. The only nerve that's touched is yours. Roll up the sleeves and take responsibility for your own child.

+1, you are rotten person for speaking about her like that and coaching the team is not for your son, but you and the group. That's not helping to be a better mom. Helping her is making sure she has enough money, your son has everything he needs at her house, and making sure if she cannot take him places, you do.

+2

I see no evidence -based on what you have said- that your ex is a bad mother. She works and takes care of the kid when he is with her, from what you have said. If you want him to do more activities, take it up with her and/or drive him yourself. If she doesn’t want to do those things during her time- you will have to accept that. These things are optional at age 8.

[Anonymous]

My guess is OP sees his kid every Wednesday night and every other weekend, and coaching baseball (which he probably coaches because baseball is OP's thing) is the sum total of his involvement in his son's extracurricular activities and social life. Meanwhile, mom has primary physical custody and is the only person making sure homework gets done, driving the kid to any other extracurricular activities, scheduling and attending doctor's appointments, booking summer camps, making sure the kid has clothes that fit, and a million other little things that go into caring for and raising kids. And then OP doesn't understand why she doesn't drop Junior League on top of it. Which, by the way, is a huge sign that OP is the worst kind of social climber and that this is really about the kid not being cool enough in OP's mind.

[Anonymous]

It's sad your ex doesn't care about your son's feelings or social life.

When you get a new wife I bet you find that she's be a better stepmom than the original mom is at being a mom. Sadly, that's often the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's sad your ex doesn't care about your son's feelings or social life.

When you get a new wife I bet you find that she's be a better stepmom than the original mom is at being a mom. Sadly, that's often the case.

Oh good grief. I see nothing that indicates the mom “doesn’t care about her sons feelings or social life”. All I see is that “she isn’t in junior league”. LOL.

[Anonymous]

1) Find kid activities that aren’t a front for mean girl mom cliques to continue their MS/HS reign of terror.
2) This is not the responsibility of one parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is OP sees his kid every Wednesday night and every other weekend, and coaching baseball (which he probably coaches because baseball is OP's thing) is the sum total of his involvement in his son's extracurricular activities and social life. Meanwhile, mom has primary physical custody and is the only person making sure homework gets done, driving the kid to any other extracurricular activities, scheduling and attending doctor's appointments, booking summer camps, making sure the kid has clothes that fit, and a million other little things that go into caring for and raising kids. And then OP doesn't understand why she doesn't drop Junior League on top of it. Which, by the way, is a huge sign that OP is the worst kind of social climber and that this is really about the kid not being cool enough in OP's mind.

+1

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The hate doesn't surprise me, tbh. It just proves I'm right.

I already coach his baseball team. My ex does nothing. She's a loser and a bad mom so I was asking for help to get her to be a better mom. Apparently that touched a few nerves. lol.

You screwed up by marrying a loser.

You fixed that by divorcing her.

Unfortunately, you can't fix her or change the fact that she is the mother of your child. You will have to make up where she is lacking. Perhaps you can get sole custody and hire a nanny/personal assistant to do some of what you need done.

+1

+1 isn't this what moms with deadbeat ex-husbands do.. compensate for the lacking parent? That's what my sister has done with her deadbeat ex.

Why are assuming this mol is a deadbeat, a lacking parent etc? WTH? I’m also a mom who works FT and is not in “junior league” (is anyone in that anymore!?) - I think those criteria apply to most moms on this board.

My kids attend aftercare 4 days a week and are enrolled in an activity pretty much every season. We do play dates sometimes as well- on the weekends. I don’t go out of my way to do more than that- both kids are thriving and happy and I am not a “deadbeat”.

OP if she works, does your son go to aftercare?? And you said he plays baseball..between aftercare and baseball he is getting plenty of socializing. If you want to play social climber/social engineer do it on your own time with your DS. She doesn’t appear to want to and thst is fine.

I sense the influence of OP’s mom on how he sees his XW. Even if his mom is dead, she may have established a false standard in his mind.

[Anonymous]

1. Why don’t YOU do some work for this?

2. My mom did not do those things, and I had friends.