Tell me your reasons for not allowing sleepovers

[Anonymous]

We don’t do a ton of sleepovers- i don’t love them because the kids don’t get enough sleep (and am not a fan of hosting either). We do allow here and there and for bday parties if that is what they request!

The real solution IMHO is to make sure you talk to your kids in a very honest and direct way - about inappropriate touching among other things (guns, other safety hazards and family rules). You can’t protect them forever. Any of my kids would raise holy hell about inappropriate touching for example (10&8)- they aren’t the passive sort. I think kids used to be raised very differently (don’t question adults, respect authority without question, ignorance about sex until they were older etc) while kids these days are more knowledgeable and assertive. While this has some cons, the pros outweigh the cons IMO.

10yo is generally allowed to do sleepovers with parents we don’t know well. I’ve usually met them, and often it is a large group of friends and kids we know.

8yo has only had sleepovers with close friends thus far (and not many) but I probably wouldn’t send him to a sleepover at a home we were unfamiliar with at this age. I don’t see the need. I’d rather we get to know them (play dates etc) first

That said- we do try to limit sleepovers based on the no-sleep factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

Thank you!

These anxiety ridden Mommies destroying their kid's lives one neurotic episode at a time.

They can't walk to the bus stop alone.
They can't cross a street.
Go to the park - alone? Never!
Sleepovers? A complete travesty waiting to happen.

Well I watched some pretty bad porn at a friend’s house for a sleepover when I was way too young. We also snuck out and did dangerous stuff. Had my first game of spin the bottle (at 11) at a sleepover. Luckily wasn’t molested but even though my kids aren’t d enough for sleepovers I may veto any with older boys in the home or parents I don’t know.

But but! My precious might get extra "screens" time

[Anonymous]

I didn’t realize my 3 sons were going to be sexually molesting all your girls at sleepovers. Seems like it is a nightly offense her in the DC Metro area.

You parents are beyond creepy. I feel scared for anyone with boys.

[Anonymous]

The irony of the porn excuse for a sleepover. Kids ages 8 and up walking around with their own iPhones and have chrome books at home. LOL

[Anonymous]

I am surprised I had to go 6 pages to see mention of iPhones and computers.

We limit sleepovers with families we don't know for a few reasons but one of them is because I'm constantly surprised at how many parents don't have their kids' devices or media childproofed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know allow sleepovers unless I know the parents. I think that's a reasonable rule.

That is reasonable. What’s your plan for when your kid makes friends with a kid from a family that you aren’t comfortable with? Will you give it to your kid straight? “Ellie’s mom’s new boyfriend gives me the creeps”? Or “Hailey’s mom usually doesn’t seem 100% sober at Saturday morning soccer games, so I’m gonna guess she’s not the best chaperone on Friday nights”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

Many more kids are sexually abused by family friends, or other people they know than are shot in school shootings. To put school shootings in the same category as car accidents when you're talking about statistics is ridiculous.

Sexual abuse by someone you know is a relatively frequent thing, much more frequent than school shootings, or stranger abductions, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy Hell. Not only do we have all these excuses about why kids can't go to sleepovers, but we are starting a new list of why kids can't ride a bike.

You parents listing all of these reasons? Just wow.

They aren't china. You babying them with every excuse in the world is not going to help them. I thought all the studies showing the damaging mental damaging to helicoptering was going to change the mindset of current parents of young kids. Whoa.

You seem like a real judgy b****ch and stepping over the line asking candidates about their childhoods in interviews. I’ll have to tell my kids if the interviewer gets too personal in an interview it only honing to get worse later. Boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just skimmed this whole post and wow, are there some judgy parents here. I allow my children to sleepover only if I know the parents well. Currently they can sleepover at a couple of neighbor's homes who we have known for years and at the homes of a few school/sports friends. I do understand why people feel anxiety about it. I saw a hardcore porn magazine at a 3rd grade sleepover because my friend had found her dad's stash. I never told my mom. I also watched a very violent, bloody and sexual horror movie that gave nightmares at another sleepover when I was in 4th or 5th grade. The parents never even checked what we were watching in the basement. Anyway, even with that I allow my kids to certain homes, where I know parents are vigilant. But I would never judge a parent that doesn't feel comfortable with their children sleeping over. I always say something like: If your child is not allowed to sleepover, please feel free to pick them up by 11pm. There is always one or two kids that get picked up late. I don't mind, every family is different.

+1. I grew up going to sleepovers all the time. I watched porn for the first time at 8 years old, and then many times afterward (and these were all-girl sleepovers). I have no idea why parents were so careless with their private material (or why we watched it for that matter) but nobody really monitored us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy Hell. Not only do we have all these excuses about why kids can't go to sleepovers, but we are starting a new list of why kids can't ride a bike.

You parents listing all of these reasons? Just wow.

They aren't china. You babying them with every excuse in the world is not going to help them. I thought all the studies showing the damaging mental damaging to helicoptering was going to change the mindset of current parents of young kids. Whoa.

You seem like a real judgy b****ch and stepping over the line asking candidates about their childhoods in interviews. I’ll have to tell my kids if the interviewer gets too personal in an interview it only honing to get worse later. Boundaries.

I am the PP, but not the PP doing interviews. I am just laughing at all the reasons people can't ride bikes now. Who knew?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize my 3 sons were going to be sexually molesting all your girls at sleepovers. Seems like it is a nightly offense her in the DC Metro area.

You parents are beyond creepy. I feel scared for anyone with boys.

Yup!!
My brother and his friends couldn't stay far enough away from me and my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

Many more kids are sexually abused by family friends, or other people they know than are shot in school shootings. To put school shootings in the same category as car accidents when you're talking about statistics is ridiculous.

Sexual abuse by someone you know is a relatively frequent thing, much more frequent than school shootings, or stranger abductions, for example.

Can you give me the statistics on your opinions of a relatively frequent thing?

And what is the point of only allowing sleepovers with people you know than? Sounds safer to have sleepovers with families you don't know. Strangers are safer.
Probably should divorce your husband and kick him out too. No grandparent sleepovers either. Cousin sleepovers? No way.

Sorry, this is 100% fear mongering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am the PP, but not the PP doing interviews. I am just laughing at all the reasons people can't ride bikes now. Who knew?

I can't ride bikes (not well, anyway), because a CNS disorder that affects my balance and coordination. DD and DH ride bikes; I walk the dog. That way, I don't run into or fall on top of anyone. Win-win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just skimmed this whole post and wow, are there some judgy parents here. I allow my children to sleepover only if I know the parents well. Currently they can sleepover at a couple of neighbor's homes who we have known for years and at the homes of a few school/sports friends. I do understand why people feel anxiety about it. I saw a hardcore porn magazine at a 3rd grade sleepover because my friend had found her dad's stash. I never told my mom. I also watched a very violent, bloody and sexual horror movie that gave nightmares at another sleepover when I was in 4th or 5th grade. The parents never even checked what we were watching in the basement. Anyway, even with that I allow my kids to certain homes, where I know parents are vigilant. But I would never judge a parent that doesn't feel comfortable with their children sleeping over. I always say something like: If your child is not allowed to sleepover, please feel free to pick them up by 11pm. There is always one or two kids that get picked up late. I don't mind, every family is different.

+1. I grew up going to sleepovers all the time. I watched porn for the first time at 8 years old, and then many times afterward (and these were all-girl sleepovers). I have no idea why parents were so careless with their private material (or why we watched it for that matter) but nobody really monitored us.

Yet you all as parents give phones to young kids and preteens that they can take anywhere with any access. And yes, the kids ALWAYS bypass the parent controls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yet you all as parents give phones to young kids and preteens that they can take anywhere with any access. And yes, the kids ALWAYS bypass the parent controls.

My kid, as of a month ago, has my old phone. With no actual plan. She can use it at home, for 30 minutes a day, and only in public spaces. I am acutely aware of what she is doing on it (playing games, and watching some YouTube videos). She's most definitely not watching porn.