Tell me your reasons for not allowing sleepovers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I generally don't allow them, but not for the reasons others listed. We pay a ton of money for DS to do two travel sports, which usually have weekend games. He can't be tired for them and we expect him to play his best. Sleepovers are not conducive to that. Also, I really don't want to host them. I have a very demanding job and long commute, and I don't want to lose a night of sleep. We allow and arrange for plenty of play dates so that DS gets to see friends.

Poor kid. Two travel sports, no fun on the weekends, arranged playdates, and his mom will lash out if she doesn't get her exact amount of sleep. Sounds like a dream!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My reason is the kids don't sleep. Can't deal with it the next day.

+1

My kid has high sleep needs and is easily frightened by media others her age can handle. It’s the worst combination for sleepovers. I have done some child sex abuse work too but no incident was during a sleepover. It was always stepdads or uncles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

I don't allow sleepovers. I was sexually abused when I was 5 by a "trusted adult", a nice, very born again Christian man, church leader. In my experience I've never been shot at, or in an accident, but I was abused. It's much more common than what you think.

Sorry this happened, but how what does this have anything to do with letting a 10 year old so sleep over a friend's house?

Do your kid's go to church, school, play sports, or have activities. Aren't there risks in all of those things too. The Church and schools especially.

NP, but my kids don’t hang out at church, school, sports or activities for hours at a time when there are only a handful of people present. There’s a reason why adults are not supposed to be alone with kids in those settings. My kids are also not as vulnerable when they’re awake as they are when they’re asleep.

[Anonymous]

I see no point. My kids end up completely exhausted and it just wastes the next day. Plus, I don't want to be kept up all night by giggling or having to tell someone else's kid not to sneak into this room or make so much noise.I think my kids are good advocates for themselves, but I do find it really strange when a family we barely know invites my kid to sleep in their home. Of course sex offenders are often the people you know and trust, but still, I like to know people before I send my kid to play at their home for a few hours, but will do it regardless. I certainly am not sending my kid to sleep at your home if we have not met.

[Anonymous]

I generally don't allow them, but not for the reasons others listed. We pay a ton of money for DS to do two travel sports, which usually have weekend games. He can't be tired for them and we expect him to play his best. Sleepovers are not conducive to that. Also, I really don't want to host them. I have a very demanding job and long commute, and I don't want to lose a night of sleep. We allow and arrange for plenty of play dates so that DS gets to see friends.


Poor kid. Two travel sports, no fun on the weekends, arranged playdates, and his mom will lash out if she doesn't get her exact amount of sleep. Sounds like a dream!

Sorry you disapprove. You get to raise your kids your way, and we'll do what's best for us. I'm sure all of them will turn out fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

THIS. All this is, are people with their internet stories and high anxiety that the sky is falling. And some weird ones claiming one night of less sleep will disrupt their entire lives. My kids have a sleepover, they either go back to bed when they get home, take a nap late Sunday afternoon, or I don't know - go to bed an hour or two earlier.

I always invite kids over on Fridays and we do something active before doing the firepit and movies. It's usually swimming in the summer. Kids are always passed out by midnight or 1am because of school or camp. They sleep until 8am. Totally fine. Last sleepover, my 9yr old and her 2 friends got up and made the best pancakes and surprised my husband and I. (yes my daughter cooks without me up her ass in the kitchen) We slept fine and were served breakfast. They were so excited and it was really nice. I guess I am just much more laid back than others. I love this age. Still a kid and having fun, but old enough to be independent and enjoy time with their friends. It isn't all the time, but at least once a month with a group of girls. And I think nights like this are extremely important for our kid's mental and social well being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

THIS. All this is, are people with their internet stories and high anxiety that the sky is falling. And some weird ones claiming one night of less sleep will disrupt their entire lives. My kids have a sleepover, they either go back to bed when they get home, take a nap late Sunday afternoon, or I don't know - go to bed an hour or two earlier.

I always invite kids over on Fridays and we do something active before doing the firepit and movies. It's usually swimming in the summer. Kids are always passed out by midnight or 1am because of school or camp. They sleep until 8am. Totally fine. Last sleepover, my 9yr old and her 2 friends got up and made the best pancakes and surprised my husband and I. (yes my daughter cooks without me up her ass in the kitchen) We slept fine and were served breakfast. They were so excited and it was really nice. I guess I am just much more laid back than others. I love this age. Still a kid and having fun, but old enough to be independent and enjoy time with their friends. It isn't all the time, but at least once a month with a group of girls. And I think nights like this are extremely important for our kid's mental and social well being.

Completely agree. Some of my best memories are from childhood sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you know the family and the kid, I don't see why you wouldn't allow it. I'm less comfortable with large-group sleepovers than one-on-one, which I generally think are fine. I agree with the PP that said the sleep deprivation of the kid and cranky attitude the next day make sleepovers unappealing to me, but I don't disallow them except when we have other things going on that will be severely impacted by my kid being super tired. Also, I do limit how often.

You never really know what goes on behind closed doors. Everyone worries about the men but women are equally abusive. I worked in child welfare for many years. Seen too much.

Once again, there are more chance for a child predators in school, than a friend's home. Are you homeschooling too?

Why do you think this? From everything I've seen, the stats are exactly the opposite. There's way more chance something happens in a friend's home (or a relative's home).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

I don't allow sleepovers. I was sexually abused when I was 5 by a "trusted adult", a nice, very born again Christian man, church leader. In my experience I've never been shot at, or in an accident, but I was abused. It's much more common than what you think.

Sorry this happened, but how what does this have anything to do with letting a 10 year old so sleep over a friend's house?

Do your kid's go to church, school, play sports, or have activities. Aren't there risks in all of those things too. The Church and schools especially.

This. I assume you weren’t having the sleepover with the nice, trusted Christian man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you know the family and the kid, I don't see why you wouldn't allow it. I'm less comfortable with large-group sleepovers than one-on-one, which I generally think are fine. I agree with the PP that said the sleep deprivation of the kid and cranky attitude the next day make sleepovers unappealing to me, but I don't disallow them except when we have other things going on that will be severely impacted by my kid being super tired. Also, I do limit how often.

You never really know what goes on behind closed doors. Everyone worries about the men but women are equally abusive. I worked in child welfare for many years. Seen too much.

Once again, there are more chance for a child predators in school, than a friend's home. Are you homeschooling too?

Why do you think this? From everything I've seen, the stats are exactly the opposite. There's way more chance something happens in a friend's home (or a relative's home).

NP here. Predators have been found in schools (FCPS and other school systems). Read the news and open your eyes.

[Anonymous]

I was not allowed to go to sleepovers as a kid. My family was the only one. Didn't know it was a thing now.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why people get so uppity about the fact people don't want sleepovers. My kids hate being wiped out. Get over it. It's fine if you like them, but don't get all high and mighty when we turn them down. To each their own. Also, I do find it creepy when someone is begging for their kid to have a sleepover. Had this happen one time with a kid my kid wasn't even that friendly with. Why is your kid so obsessed with spending all night with my kid when they are not even good friends?

[Anonymous]

It's not worth the risk. You don't really know people or what goes on at night at their homes. I did sleep overs as a kid and got molested by an older brother of my best friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why people get so uppity about the fact people don't want sleepovers. My kids hate being wiped out. Get over it. It's fine if you like them, but don't get all high and mighty when we turn them down. To each their own. Also, I do find it creepy when someone is begging for their kid to have a sleepover. Had this happen one time with a kid my kid wasn't even that friendly with. Why is your kid so obsessed with spending all night with my kid when they are not even good friends?

Because sleepovers are fun?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why people get so uppity about the fact people don't want sleepovers. My kids hate being wiped out. Get over it. It's fine if you like them, but don't get all high and mighty when we turn them down. To each their own. Also, I do find it creepy when someone is begging for their kid to have a sleepover. Had this happen one time with a kid my kid wasn't even that friendly with. Why is your kid so obsessed with spending all night with my kid when they are not even good friends?

So if your kids hate sleepovers, what is the problem? If someone asks them to sleepover, all they have to say is "sorry, I hate being wiped out." (But I think we all know it isn't your kid's issue, it is yours)

And anyone that finds kid's excitement over sleepovers "creepy" has some strange, fearful, warped mind. Maybe they are hoping to just get them away from their boring parents, so they can lighten up and have some fun. Why do people like you always go to worse case scenario? Do you always live you life like that?