Tell me your reasons for not allowing sleepovers

[Anonymous]

I don't "allow" it bc my DS still pees the bed. Yes, he's been seen by a Dr, yes we've tried the constipation clearing thing, yes he has the pills for one time events but he is mortified that it might happen. So I don't "allow" it and he uses that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you know the family and the kid, I don't see why you wouldn't allow it. I'm less comfortable with large-group sleepovers than one-on-one, which I generally think are fine. I agree with the PP that said the sleep deprivation of the kid and cranky attitude the next day make sleepovers unappealing to me, but I don't disallow them except when we have other things going on that will be severely impacted by my kid being super tired. Also, I do limit how often.

You never really know what goes on behind closed doors. Everyone worries about the men but women are equally abusive. I worked in child welfare for many years. Seen too much.

Once again, there are more chance for a child predators in school, than a friend's home. Are you homeschooling too?

Why do you think this? From everything I've seen, the stats are exactly the opposite. There's way more chance something happens in a friend's home (or a relative's home).

NP here. Predators have been found in schools (FCPS and other school systems). Read the news and open your eyes.

MCPS has handfuls every year too. So do day camps. So do daycares. So do Churches and youth centers. So do youth sport's coaches. So do grandparents, aunts, brothers, etc.... How do you avoid all of these "what if" situations?

[Anonymous]

I can not believe people actually don't allow sleepovers. My best childhood memories were all the sleepover birthday parties and tons of late ES to middle schools gatherings with friends. Talking about boys, playing board games, cards, makeovers (tons of Aqua Net!) truth or dare, watching movies, and eating crappy food for one night.

Saying no just has never happened in my kid's circle yet - thankfully. I love hearing about their nights. The boys play video games a lot, but I also think it is just as important as with girls to have sleepovers. But I guess we don't have guns, drugs, molesters, and people coming in, in the middle of the night - like some other circle of friends here do.

[Anonymous]

We won’t let our son sleep over anywhere unless I know the family well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

I don't allow sleepovers. I was sexually abused when I was 5 by a "trusted adult", a nice, very born again Christian man, church leader. In my experience I've never been shot at, or in an accident, but I was abused. It's much more common than what you think.

Sorry this happened, but how what does this have anything to do with letting a 10 year old so sleep over a friend's house?

Do your kid's go to church, school, play sports, or have activities. Aren't there risks in all of those things too. The Church and schools especially.

I relate my experience to sleepovers because it was in an intimate home environment where my abuse occurred. It can happen rather quickly so I do worry about who is in the house and what can happen. I know there are risks in life but this is a risk I can control and why I do not let my kids have sleepovers. Yes my kids play sports, they’re active they’re involved but it’s always in a large group with several adults supervising. As to church, we don’t go and kids are not alone with an adult at schools.

(And while my avoidance to this is extreme, yes there are risks in life but don’t we all do things in our life to avoid risks? Whether dietary, Vehicular, or in my case, sleepovers, I think as parents we all avoid risk for our kids based on our own experiences in one way or another.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I generally don't allow them, but not for the reasons others listed. We pay a ton of money for DS to do two travel sports, which usually have weekend games. He can't be tired for them and we expect him to play his best. Sleepovers are not conducive to that. Also, I really don't want to host them. I have a very demanding job and long commute, and I don't want to lose a night of sleep. We allow and arrange for plenty of play dates so that DS gets to see friends.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the responses but the 1 reason I don't allow sleepover yet is the fact that my son still has a problem staying dry at night. He will be 8 next month. I would hate to have him go to a sleepover and have someone say something mean intentionally or unintentionally. I know kids can say things and not mean it. I think his issue should be kept private at home.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why people care so much about this. Raise your kids as you see fit and give other people the space to do the same. There are a number of different ways for kids to have fun - if a sleepover isn't on option for a particular family, it doesn't mean that their children have no fun at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I don't "allow" it bc my DS still pees the bed. Yes, he's been seen by a Dr, yes we've tried the constipation clearing thing, yes he has the pills for one time events but he is mortified that it might happen. So I don't "allow" it and he uses that.

My son does as well. He will be 8 next month. How old is yours? Same here, his pedi has ruled out anything medical and he is just a heavy sleeper. He will stop on his own when his body is ready to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see no point. My kids end up completely exhausted and it just wastes the next day. Plus, I don't want to be kept up all night by giggling or having to tell someone else's kid not to sneak into this room or make so much noise.I think my kids are good advocates for themselves, but I do find it really strange when a family we barely know invites my kid to sleep in their home. Of course sex offenders are often the people you know and trust, but still, I like to know people before I send my kid to play at their home for a few hours, but will do it regardless. I certainly am not sending my kid to sleep at your home if we have not met.

Kept up all night by giggling? That is a first.

Are you sleeping right next to these kids in sleeping bags?
Does giggling a few rooms away or on another level, really keep you up all night?
If for some reason it actually does, why can't you ask the kids to quiet or your daughter loses sleepovers for a month?


I mean this is pretty lame PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

Thank you!

These anxiety ridden Mommies destroying their kid's lives one neurotic episode at a time.

They can't walk to the bus stop alone.
They can't cross a street.
Go to the park - alone? Never!
Sleepovers? A complete travesty waiting to happen.

It’s called parenting. Try it.

I do a lot of hiring...anxiety ridden moms have no idea how much damage they have done to their adult kids. That's what they are adult kids. It's sad to see how much hand holding they need because mommy never let them out to play alone. I have such fond memories of riding my bike around all day in the summer with my friends. Exploring nature, etc. It was so much fun. I had rules to follow, like check in every two hours, always be home when the lights come on, etc. What you are robbing from your kids is a travesty.

I have one question that I ask potential new employees....when did you learn to ride a bicycle? It is so sad that 5 out of 10 have never learned because I quote, "Mom didn't like me being out on my bike alone and she didn't ride a bike." I don't hire these kids....

[Anonymous]

I generally don't allow them, but not for the reasons others listed. We pay a ton of money for DS to do two travel sports, which usually have weekend games. He can't be tired for them and we expect him to play his best. Sleepovers are not conducive to that. Also, I really don't want to host them. I have a very demanding job and long commute, and I don't want to lose a night of sleep. We allow and arrange for plenty of play dates so that DS gets to see friends.

Roll your eyes all you want. DS asked to play these expensive sports, we didn't force him. Rec would have been fine, but once we've sunk in the money into this at his request, he has to take it seriously. That's our rule, which we explained to him at the outset when he asked to do these travel teams. I also feel no compulsion to be a martyr and have kids screaming and going from room to room at midnight. If you want to do that, go for it. I don't think its necessary for me to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

Thank you!

These anxiety ridden Mommies destroying their kid's lives one neurotic episode at a time.

They can't walk to the bus stop alone.
They can't cross a street.
Go to the park - alone? Never!
Sleepovers? A complete travesty waiting to happen.

It’s called parenting. Try it.

I do a lot of hiring...anxiety ridden moms have no idea how much damage they have done to their adult kids. That's what they are adult kids. It's sad to see how much hand holding they need because mommy never let them out to play alone. I have such fond memories of riding my bike around all day in the summer with my friends. Exploring nature, etc. It was so much fun. I had rules to follow, like check in every two hours, always be home when the lights come on, etc. What you are robbing from your kids is a travesty.

I have one question that I ask potential new employees....when did you learn to ride a bicycle? It is so sad that 5 out of 10 have never learned because I quote, "Mom didn't like me being out on my bike alone and she didn't ride a bike." I don't hire these kids....

You base your hiring decisions on someone’s athletic abilities from childhood? Instead of educational experience, GPA, and character? That’s totally messed up! What kind of company do you run?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are more likely to get shot in a school shooting or get into a car accident driving with you, than something happen to them at a sleepover.

Fear mongering at it's finest.

Thank you!

These anxiety ridden Mommies destroying their kid's lives one neurotic episode at a time.

They can't walk to the bus stop alone.
They can't cross a street.
Go to the park - alone? Never!
Sleepovers? A complete travesty waiting to happen.

It’s called parenting. Try it.

I do a lot of hiring...anxiety ridden moms have no idea how much damage they have done to their adult kids. That's what they are adult kids. It's sad to see how much hand holding they need because mommy never let them out to play alone. I have such fond memories of riding my bike around all day in the summer with my friends. Exploring nature, etc. It was so much fun. I had rules to follow, like check in every two hours, always be home when the lights come on, etc. What you are robbing from your kids is a travesty.

I have one question that I ask potential new employees....when did you learn to ride a bicycle? It is so sad that 5 out of 10 have never learned because I quote, "Mom didn't like me being out on my bike alone and she didn't ride a bike." I don't hire these kids....

You base your hiring decisions on someone’s athletic abilities from childhood? Instead of educational experience, GPA, and character? That’s totally messed up! What kind of company do you run?

This mom has a disability since age 15, and that's around when I stopped riding a bike. My child may have not learned to ride a bike from me, but what they have gained is empathy and compassion. Your company doesn't deserve him.

[Anonymous]

I was upset when my mother banned sleepovers at my best friend's house when I turned 12. The only reason she gave was that my friend has an older brother.

Until he gave me a (very respectful) love letter. Now that I have a daughter, I understand why my mother was uneasy. Of course, she was completely unaware of the abuse happening in our own house, but I don't blame my parents for that other than that they never spoke to us about good and bad touches as is now commonplace.