My husband always lets us down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. I can’t believe all these responses! What is the deal with all your unreliable husbands, and why should OP just be content to go do things with her son by herself? My husband knows weekend mornings are family time. When my daughter goes down for a nap, that’s when my husband gets his time to do whatever he wants for the entire afternoon! Can OP’s husband not call his parents and go see his friend’s house during nap? Her husband sounds terrible! OP’s only problem seems to be that she posts on dcum about this instead of confronting her husband.

I don't think anyone thinks her feelings about her husband are unjustified or that she should be content to do things by herself. What people are saying is that the reality is that her husband is this way so she has to deal with her reality, not what she wishes he were like and would do.

No one thinks the husband is behaving well, people just don't think OP should be held back by that bad behavior.

OP here. It's easy to give this advice but his behavior does hold me back. It's like telling someone not to feel bad after a break up.

Stop. No one is telling you how to feel. No one is saying that this isn’t sh!tty behavior by your husband. But to continue to sit there and shoot down every response to do something is on you. You’ve been advised to leave for the day, but you like watching your son play and have tried that before and don’t want him watching tv. You’ve got every excuse for not advocating for yourself. At some point you have to decide not to be a helpless victim here. Otherwise, stop complaining. You’re either part of the problem or part of the solution.

OP here. I have not shot down every response. I have confronted DH about this many times. I am not helpless and I am free to choose what I want to do with my day. I would rather stay at home. You sound a bit mean pp.

So what exactly are you looking for in coming here, OP?

[Anonymous]

So I guess you just wanted to crowdsource how others might feel about this situation. Now you know. Obviously you might not choose to take any of the advice. It would certainly be made more difficult because of the pregnancy. Big question is, if you have known about this problem in your relationship for awhile, why did you decide to have another baby with this guy, especially when you don't even have a second car to afford yourself more options when things go badly?

[Anonymous]

OP is half of the problem in this relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is half of the problem in this relationship.

I don’t see how that’s true. Her husband sounds like a tremendous jerk, and she just sounds not quite equippped to respond to him. She shouldn’t have to be worrying about this in the first place. What kind of husband talks on the phone in the parking lot when he wife and child are inside a restaurant at breakfast?

[Anonymous]

Op, sorry you are going through this. Your husband sounds selfish and immature. I don’t have any solutions for you just my sympathy. He sounds like a real ass!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this isn’t about time, this is about feeling disrespected?

So this is a planet we live on called Earth, PP.

Pretty clear OP was really about feeling disrespected.

[Anonymous]

OP here's a different idea -- stay home with your toddler, playing blocks, reading, mini-tramp -- just on the weekends.

Is there an issue of having room to play at home? No back yard?

Possibly less stressful for you to stay home on the weekends, specially being pregnant. I got tired during mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. I can’t believe all these responses! What is the deal with all your unreliable husbands, and why should OP just be content to go do things with her son by herself? My husband knows weekend mornings are family time. When my daughter goes down for a nap, that’s when my husband gets his time to do whatever he wants for the entire afternoon! Can OP’s husband not call his parents and go see his friend’s house during nap? Her husband sounds terrible! OP’s only problem seems to be that she posts on dcum about this instead of confronting her husband.

I don't think anyone thinks her feelings about her husband are unjustified or that she should be content to do things by herself. What people are saying is that the reality is that her husband is this way so she has to deal with her reality, not what she wishes he were like and would do.

No one thinks the husband is behaving well, people just don't think OP should be held back by that bad behavior.

OP here. It's easy to give this advice but his behavior does hold me back. It's like telling someone not to feel bad after a break up.

I get it...I really do. It’s hard and hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is half of the problem in this relationship.

I don’t see how that’s true. Her husband sounds like a tremendous jerk, and she just sounds not quite equippped to respond to him. She shouldn’t have to be worrying about this in the first place. What kind of husband talks on the phone in the parking lot when he wife and child are inside a restaurant at breakfast?

I wish some of you would read. The OP PEPARED breakfast and her husband sat in the driveway on the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. I can’t believe all these responses! What is the deal with all your unreliable husbands, and why should OP just be content to go do things with her son by herself? My husband knows weekend mornings are family time. When my daughter goes down for a nap, that’s when my husband gets his time to do whatever he wants for the entire afternoon! Can OP’s husband not call his parents and go see his friend’s house during nap? Her husband sounds terrible! OP’s only problem seems to be that she posts on dcum about this instead of confronting her husband.

I don't think anyone thinks her feelings about her husband are unjustified or that she should be content to do things by herself. What people are saying is that the reality is that her husband is this way so she has to deal with her reality, not what she wishes he were like and would do.

No one thinks the husband is behaving well, people just don't think OP should be held back by that bad behavior.

OP here. It's easy to give this advice but his behavior does hold me back. It's like telling someone not to feel bad after a break up.

Stop. No one is telling you how to feel. No one is saying that this isn’t sh!tty behavior by your husband. But to continue to sit there and shoot down every response to do something is on you. You’ve been advised to leave for the day, but you like watching your son play and have tried that before and don’t want him watching tv. You’ve got every excuse for not advocating for yourself. At some point you have to decide not to be a helpless victim here. Otherwise, stop complaining. You’re either part of the problem or part of the solution.

OP here. I have not shot down every response. I have confronted DH about this many times. I am not helpless and I am free to choose what I want to do with my day. I would rather stay at home. You sound a bit mean pp.

So what exactly are you looking for in coming here, OP?

How about a shoulder....like most everyone here. Be nice.

[Anonymous]

OP’s husband is an unbelievable jerk. It’s hard to even imagine being married to that. Of course I would have lost my temper a billion times if he did that stuff regularly and I guess we wouldn’t have stayed together. Is there anything you like about him OP? Why’d you marry him? Why are you not yelling at him whenever he does this stuff? I tell my husband immediately whenever I’m unhappy about something. Gah he sounds insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP’s husband is an unbelievable jerk. It’s hard to even imagine being married to that. Of course I would have lost my temper a billion times if he did that stuff regularly and I guess we wouldn’t have stayed together. Is there anything you like about him OP? Why’d you marry him? Why are you not yelling at him whenever he does this stuff? I tell my husband immediately whenever I’m unhappy about something. Gah he sounds insufferable.

She must like something about him if she has gotten herself pregnant 2x by him, once fairly recently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be new behavior. You’ve known about this. What on earth possessed you to have unprotected sex with him?

This is the million dollar question.

[Anonymous]

Kick him out, take the car and the house.

[Anonymous]

so send the kid with dad to go see the house. Guarantee it really will only take 15 min then.