My husband always lets us down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, either your husband has a girlfriend, or he is deliberately avoiding family life with you and your child.

Your options are a) do everything without him, as if you're a single parent, and stop waiting around for him or b) wake your son an hour earlier, and ALL of you go to soccer practice. Your son can eat a simple breakfast on the go, run around and get some fresh air while your husband coaches, and you can all go to a late brunch after or do something fun as a family before naptime. Don't be a victim, your husband isn't going to change his behavior, so you have to change yours. There's no need for your son to sleep in until 10 am every day. He will be fine with an hour less sleep.

OP here. Hell no. My husband is trying to be in TWO soccer leagues and also coach another team. I do not "need" to go to his soccer practice every Saturday morning. This is BS. I left on Monday evening when he told me he joined another soccer league. I am now staying at my parents house. I can't believe the advice I have been getting here. Basically I need to suck it up because my husband will never change. I don't want to be married to someone this selfish.

OP, any update?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, either your husband has a girlfriend, or he is deliberately avoiding family life with you and your child.

Your options are a) do everything without him, as if you're a single parent, and stop waiting around for him or b) wake your son an hour earlier, and ALL of you go to soccer practice. Your son can eat a simple breakfast on the go, run around and get some fresh air while your husband coaches, and you can all go to a late brunch after or do something fun as a family before naptime. Don't be a victim, your husband isn't going to change his behavior, so you have to change yours. There's no need for your son to sleep in until 10 am every day. He will be fine with an hour less sleep.

OP here. Hell no. My husband is trying to be in TWO soccer leagues and also coach another team. I do not "need" to go to his soccer practice every Saturday morning. This is BS. I left on Monday evening when he told me he joined another soccer league. I am now staying at my parents house. I can't believe the advice I have been getting here. Basically I need to suck it up because my husband will never change. I don't want to be married to someone this selfish.

It's not about "need" it's about "want." I can tell you that I'd WANT to go watch my husband coach soccer/football every for the few weeks of the season (assuming school aged kids coach) because on weekends when I'm not working I enjoy being around him regardless of what we do. It makes me happy to see him doing something he enjoys (fyi married 12 years, together 16 years). My DH loves to run marathons, so I cheer him on on race day and during his longer pre-runs. It's fun to surprise him and see his face light up when he comes around the trail corner and my DDs start cheering him. He comes to watch my riding class probably once a month. We support each other and what makes us happy.

I do wonder why he is joining so many leagues because it does seem like he is avoiding you and your child; and why you have a strong aversion to going to support him. There probably is an issue that you and your DH need to work on, and I'd recommend couples counseling to get to the bottom of whatever that is. I make this recommendation so you guys can be happy; I assume that is your goal - to be happy together?

Good for you pp but op is entitled to her own Saturday. I would not want to watch my husband coach soccer practice every Saturday morning especially given their child is not old enough to be involved. Should her husband also show up at yoga every Sunday morning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This morning he had to teach soccer for 2 hours. Our child is not old enough to participate. We planned on going to the zoo or a museum after. I cooked a big breakfast while he was away. He comes back late and sits in his car talking to his parents for another 30 minutes. He then tells me his friends want him to view a house they just bought. He says it will take "15" minutes and he's going to drop us off at the mall so ds can play there. It's so frustrating when he does this because we have a child now and it's a jerk thing to do. I can't waste energy explaining this anymore.

Sounds like an affair. Teaching soccer for two hours, another 30 minutes on the phone in the car “with his parents”, needs to drop you off so he can go see a friends new house? Really??

+1.

[Anonymous]

OP we need an update!!!

BTW my DH is in two soccer leagues too, it super bugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP we need an update!!!

BTW my DH is in two soccer leagues too, it super bugs.

OP here. I am still at my parents house. My DH said he will drop down to one soccer league. I may go home this weekend but I am not sure yet. I am focusing on my health and my pregnancy. I have a lot going on with prenatal visits right now. I am trying to keep my stress down as much as possible. My DH says he finally gets it but I am not 100% sure. Both of us were really into sports before we had a child. My husband had a knee injury before our son was born. He gave up sports after that. This has all been a bit surprising. I found out another surprise today! It's a girl baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP we need an update!!!

BTW my DH is in two soccer leagues too, it super bugs.

OP here. I am still at my parents house. My DH said he will drop down to one soccer league. I may go home this weekend but I am not sure yet. I am focusing on my health and my pregnancy. I have a lot going on with prenatal visits right now. I am trying to keep my stress down as much as possible. My DH says he finally gets it but I am not 100% sure. Both of us were really into sports before we had a child. My husband had a knee injury before our son was born. He gave up sports after that. This has all been a bit surprising. I found out another surprise today! It's a girl baby.

Congrats OP. It's nice you have family support. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Does OP work? I can’t remember.

[Anonymous]

Glad you are at your parents taking care of yourself.

Congratulations on baby girl.

[Anonymous]

Congrats on baby girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does OP work? I can’t remember.

Only on this forum would a bizarre question like this be asked. It doesn't matter. Her DH shouldn't be involved in 3 soccer leagues. That's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it seems you set up these little "tests" for your husband ( the title of your post ... such a downer... ) Why not CHOOSE to enjoy life? Yes, maybe you'll have to do more things his way. Usually there is a bit of a power struggle, both people wanting their way, in a marriage. But it sounds like DH is engaged and social and you could be participating. Choose happiness.

Yes you can put your family last but you can only do this for so long before you have no family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does OP work? I can’t remember.

Only on this forum would a bizarre question like this be asked. It doesn't matter. Her DH shouldn't be involved in 3 soccer leagues. That's insane.

Precisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does OP work? I can’t remember.

Only on this forum would a bizarre question like this be asked. It doesn't matter. Her DH shouldn't be involved in 3 soccer leagues. That's insane.

You're right. Only on this forum is it considered bizarre that a man have a life outside of a nagging, needy wife. Besides, he probably knows she has and attitude that he "always lets us down". What husband would want to come home to that?