SAHM shaming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

Not everyone lives to work.

I can tell you're a workaholic whose identity is wrapped up in what they do for money. That's fine but, if you were truly as smart and perceptive as you think you are, you'd realize not everyone wants to live that way.

And don't bother responding back to deny your workaholism. I can tell because you seem unable to acknowledge why many people don't want to waste their one precious life in an office pushing paper.

It's fine if you feel purpose in what you do. But you can't even acknowledge that other people feel differently. That's a problem.

Read these first before responding.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/01/opinion/burnout-hustle-culture-gentrification-work.html

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2019/jan/28/work-life-balance-thankgoditsmonday

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/

https://www.theatlantic.com/letters/archive/2019/03/readers-respond-workism-is-making-americans-miserable/584377/

You could not be more wrong. Still waiting for an answer to the questions rather than a bunch of defensive bs.
*Insert article about kids of working moms blah blah

I'm a new poster but I happen to agree with the PP. The fact that you can't seem to wrap your head around why someone might choose to live differently from you is very telling.

Fwiw, a person can have hobbies that they're very involved with that are fulfilling and yet don't pay money. Do you really not get that?

I never said I didn’t. I just want people to answer those questions. What they obviously are not comfortable doing. You do you.

They did answer the question. They're ok with filling their free time with hobbies and leisure because "they don't work to live." That's the verbatim answer.

Are you dense?

Yes, I am. Got me! Shouldn’t have expected any kind of intellectual discourse. Carry on.

You don't like the answer because you don't understand it. You can't wrap your brain around the fact that some people don't need a paycheck in order to have an identity or feel secure in the world.

It's sad. Work /= life or happiness.

You're a workaholic. Look it up. Read those articles! I'm saying this for your own good, believe it or not.

I work about 30 hours a week. You’re so cute. I’m done here. Going to play with my kids.

Right. You don't have a good response so you run off.

How exactly do you think YOU are adding to the discussion?

[Anonymous]

Just because someone presents as a SAHM doesn't mean they're not working on some side projects. My neighbors see me as a SAHM of older kids who just...what does she do during the day? I do "SAHM" things like shopping and cleaning, sure. What I don't tell them is that I'm a writer currently shopping a book.

I just let other parents think I do nothing. At all. All day long. It's fun to let them think it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

Not everyone lives to work.

I can tell you're a workaholic whose identity is wrapped up in what they do for money. That's fine but, if you were truly as smart and perceptive as you think you are, you'd realize not everyone wants to live that way.

And don't bother responding back to deny your workaholism. I can tell because you seem unable to acknowledge why many people don't want to waste their one precious life in an office pushing paper.

It's fine if you feel purpose in what you do. But you can't even acknowledge that other people feel differently. That's a problem.

Read these first before responding.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/01/opinion/burnout-hustle-culture-gentrification-work.html

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2019/jan/28/work-life-balance-thankgoditsmonday

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/

https://www.theatlantic.com/letters/archive/2019/03/readers-respond-workism-is-making-americans-miserable/584377/

You could not be more wrong. Still waiting for an answer to the questions rather than a bunch of defensive bs.
*Insert article about kids of working moms blah blah

I'm a new poster but I happen to agree with the PP. The fact that you can't seem to wrap your head around why someone might choose to live differently from you is very telling.

Fwiw, a person can have hobbies that they're very involved with that are fulfilling and yet don't pay money. Do you really not get that?

I never said I didn’t. I just want people to answer those questions. What they obviously are not comfortable doing. You do you.

They did answer the question. They're ok with filling their free time with hobbies and leisure because "they don't work to live." That's the verbatim answer.

Are you dense?

Yes, I am. Got me! Shouldn’t have expected any kind of intellectual discourse. Carry on.

You don't like the answer because you don't understand it. You can't wrap your brain around the fact that some people don't need a paycheck in order to have an identity or feel secure in the world.

It's sad. Work /= life or happiness.

You're a workaholic. Look it up. Read those articles! I'm saying this for your own good, believe it or not.

DP. Do you provide these articles to your husband, too? Or just to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone presents as a SAHM doesn't mean they're not working on some side projects. My neighbors see me as a SAHM of older kids who just...what does she do during the day? I do "SAHM" things like shopping and cleaning, sure. What I don't tell them is that I'm a writer currently shopping a book.

I just let other parents think I do nothing. At all. All day long. It's fun to let them think it.

They probably literally do not think of you at all. You are spending more time hoping they think of you than they actually do think of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone presents as a SAHM doesn't mean they're not working on some side projects. My neighbors see me as a SAHM of older kids who just...what does she do during the day? I do "SAHM" things like shopping and cleaning, sure. What I don't tell them is that I'm a writer currently shopping a book.

I just let other parents think I do nothing. At all. All day long. It's fun to let them think it.

They probably literally do not think of you at all. You are spending more time hoping they think of you than they actually do think of you.

+1. I never think about other parents and what they do all day. I have no clue if the other moms say or work, plus there is so much gray area now with flexible jobs (I’m in old town where a lot of moms work from home for the patent office or work flexible jobs for trade associations $ and women leaving and re entering the workforce. You can’t tell and I don’t care to find out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone presents as a SAHM doesn't mean they're not working on some side projects. My neighbors see me as a SAHM of older kids who just...what does she do during the day? I do "SAHM" things like shopping and cleaning, sure. What I don't tell them is that I'm a writer currently shopping a book.

I just let other parents think I do nothing. At all. All day long. It's fun to let them think it.

They probably literally do not think of you at all. You are spending more time hoping they think of you than they actually do think of you.

LOL

Then WHY all these threads about it?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

Not everyone lives to work.

I can tell you're a workaholic whose identity is wrapped up in what they do for money. That's fine but, if you were truly as smart and perceptive as you think you are, you'd realize not everyone wants to live that way.

And don't bother responding back to deny your workaholism. I can tell because you seem unable to acknowledge why many people don't want to waste their one precious life in an office pushing paper.

It's fine if you feel purpose in what you do. But you can't even acknowledge that other people feel differently. That's a problem.

Read these first before responding.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/01/opinion/burnout-hustle-culture-gentrification-work.html

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2019/jan/28/work-life-balance-thankgoditsmonday

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/

https://www.theatlantic.com/letters/archive/2019/03/readers-respond-workism-is-making-americans-miserable/584377/

You could not be more wrong. Still waiting for an answer to the questions rather than a bunch of defensive bs.
*Insert article about kids of working moms blah blah

I'm a new poster but I happen to agree with the PP. The fact that you can't seem to wrap your head around why someone might choose to live differently from you is very telling.

Fwiw, a person can have hobbies that they're very involved with that are fulfilling and yet don't pay money. Do you really not get that?

I never said I didn’t. I just want people to answer those questions. What they obviously are not comfortable doing. You do you.

They did answer the question. They're ok with filling their free time with hobbies and leisure because "they don't work to live." That's the verbatim answer.

Are you dense?

Yes, I am. Got me! Shouldn’t have expected any kind of intellectual discourse. Carry on.

You don't like the answer because you don't understand it. You can't wrap your brain around the fact that some people don't need a paycheck in order to have an identity or feel secure in the world.

It's sad. Work /= life or happiness.

You're a workaholic. Look it up. Read those articles! I'm saying this for your own good, believe it or not.

DP. Do you provide these articles to your husband, too? Or just to women?

Of course. He's not a workaholic. I wouldn't marry one or stay married to one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone presents as a SAHM doesn't mean they're not working on some side projects. My neighbors see me as a SAHM of older kids who just...what does she do during the day? I do "SAHM" things like shopping and cleaning, sure. What I don't tell them is that I'm a writer currently shopping a book.

I just let other parents think I do nothing. At all. All day long. It's fun to let them think it.

They probably literally do not think of you at all. You are spending more time hoping they think of you than they actually do think of you.

LOL

Then WHY all these threads about it?!

Good point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

Not everyone lives to work.

I can tell you're a workaholic whose identity is wrapped up in what they do for money. That's fine but, if you were truly as smart and perceptive as you think you are, you'd realize not everyone wants to live that way.

And don't bother responding back to deny your workaholism. I can tell because you seem unable to acknowledge why many people don't want to waste their one precious life in an office pushing paper.

It's fine if you feel purpose in what you do. But you can't even acknowledge that other people feel differently. That's a problem.

Read these first before responding.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/01/opinion/burnout-hustle-culture-gentrification-work.html

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2019/jan/28/work-life-balance-thankgoditsmonday

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/

https://www.theatlantic.com/letters/archive/2019/03/readers-respond-workism-is-making-americans-miserable/584377/

You could not be more wrong. Still waiting for an answer to the questions rather than a bunch of defensive bs.
*Insert article about kids of working moms blah blah

I'm a new poster but I happen to agree with the PP. The fact that you can't seem to wrap your head around why someone might choose to live differently from you is very telling.

Fwiw, a person can have hobbies that they're very involved with that are fulfilling and yet don't pay money. Do you really not get that?

I never said I didn’t. I just want people to answer those questions. What they obviously are not comfortable doing. You do you.

They did answer the question. They're ok with filling their free time with hobbies and leisure because "they don't work to live." That's the verbatim answer.

Are you dense?

Yes, I am. Got me! Shouldn’t have expected any kind of intellectual discourse. Carry on.

You don't like the answer because you don't understand it. You can't wrap your brain around the fact that some people don't need a paycheck in order to have an identity or feel secure in the world.

It's sad. Work /= life or happiness.

You're a workaholic. Look it up. Read those articles! I'm saying this for your own good, believe it or not.

DP. Do you provide these articles to your husband, too? Or just to women?

Of course. He's not a workaholic. I wouldn't marry one or stay married to one.

PP works 30 hours a week. Does your husband work less than that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone presents as a SAHM doesn't mean they're not working on some side projects. My neighbors see me as a SAHM of older kids who just...what does she do during the day? I do "SAHM" things like shopping and cleaning, sure. What I don't tell them is that I'm a writer currently shopping a book.

I just let other parents think I do nothing. At all. All day long. It's fun to let them think it.

They probably literally do not think of you at all. You are spending more time hoping they think of you than they actually do think of you.

LOL

Then WHY all these threads about it?!

Good point.

DCUM is abstract and easy entertainment. It has very little to do with what people spend their time on in their day to day lives. I guarantee you, if you are spending time hoping your neighbors spend a lot of time thinking about your daily schedule, you are bound to be disappointed.

[Anonymous]

"It's fun to let them think (whatever)" is just a weird thing for a supposed adult to say, in any event. My middle schooler is past that phase of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

Not everyone lives to work.

I can tell you're a workaholic whose identity is wrapped up in what they do for money. That's fine but, if you were truly as smart and perceptive as you think you are, you'd realize not everyone wants to live that way.

And don't bother responding back to deny your workaholism. I can tell because you seem unable to acknowledge why many people don't want to waste their one precious life in an office pushing paper.

It's fine if you feel purpose in what you do. But you can't even acknowledge that other people feel differently. That's a problem.

Read these first before responding.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/01/opinion/burnout-hustle-culture-gentrification-work.html

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2019/jan/28/work-life-balance-thankgoditsmonday

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/

https://www.theatlantic.com/letters/archive/2019/03/readers-respond-workism-is-making-americans-miserable/584377/

You could not be more wrong. Still waiting for an answer to the questions rather than a bunch of defensive bs.
*Insert article about kids of working moms blah blah

I'm a new poster but I happen to agree with the PP. The fact that you can't seem to wrap your head around why someone might choose to live differently from you is very telling.

Fwiw, a person can have hobbies that they're very involved with that are fulfilling and yet don't pay money. Do you really not get that?

I never said I didn’t. I just want people to answer those questions. What they obviously are not comfortable doing. You do you.

They did answer the question. They're ok with filling their free time with hobbies and leisure because "they don't work to live." That's the verbatim answer.

Are you dense?

Yes, I am. Got me! Shouldn’t have expected any kind of intellectual discourse. Carry on.

You don't like the answer because you don't understand it. You can't wrap your brain around the fact that some people don't need a paycheck in order to have an identity or feel secure in the world.

It's sad. Work /= life or happiness.

You're a workaholic. Look it up. Read those articles! I'm saying this for your own good, believe it or not.

DP. Do you provide these articles to your husband, too? Or just to women?

Of course. He's not a workaholic. I wouldn't marry one or stay married to one.

PP works 30 hours a week. Does your husband work less than that?

40-50, guaranteed income of at least 1M which I’m sure you will admit is a pretty good deal. He works on 3 year contracts.

He works remotely in finance and can make his own hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone presents as a SAHM doesn't mean they're not working on some side projects. My neighbors see me as a SAHM of older kids who just...what does she do during the day? I do "SAHM" things like shopping and cleaning, sure. What I don't tell them is that I'm a writer currently shopping a book.

I just let other parents think I do nothing. At all. All day long. It's fun to let them think it.

They probably literally do not think of you at all. You are spending more time hoping they think of you than they actually do think of you.

LOL

Then WHY all these threads about it?!

Good point.

DCUM is abstract and easy entertainment. It has very little to do with what people spend their time on in their day to day lives. I guarantee you, if you are spending time hoping your neighbors spend a lot of time thinking about your daily schedule, you are bound to be disappointed.

I’m not “hoping” for anything. I am pointing out the FACT that there is at least one lengthy thread on here about this subject per week and sometimes more.

So whether you specifically think about this or not is moot. Obviously other people do.

People talk about this on here because they need the shield of anonymity. People will say and ask things on here that they never would say face to face in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

Not everyone lives to work.

I can tell you're a workaholic whose identity is wrapped up in what they do for money. That's fine but, if you were truly as smart and perceptive as you think you are, you'd realize not everyone wants to live that way.

And don't bother responding back to deny your workaholism. I can tell because you seem unable to acknowledge why many people don't want to waste their one precious life in an office pushing paper.

It's fine if you feel purpose in what you do. But you can't even acknowledge that other people feel differently. That's a problem.

Read these first before responding.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/01/opinion/burnout-hustle-culture-gentrification-work.html

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2019/jan/28/work-life-balance-thankgoditsmonday

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/

https://www.theatlantic.com/letters/archive/2019/03/readers-respond-workism-is-making-americans-miserable/584377/

You could not be more wrong. Still waiting for an answer to the questions rather than a bunch of defensive bs.
*Insert article about kids of working moms blah blah

I'm a new poster but I happen to agree with the PP. The fact that you can't seem to wrap your head around why someone might choose to live differently from you is very telling.

Fwiw, a person can have hobbies that they're very involved with that are fulfilling and yet don't pay money. Do you really not get that?

I never said I didn’t. I just want people to answer those questions. What they obviously are not comfortable doing. You do you.

They did answer the question. They're ok with filling their free time with hobbies and leisure because "they don't work to live." That's the verbatim answer.

Are you dense?

Yes, I am. Got me! Shouldn’t have expected any kind of intellectual discourse. Carry on.

You don't like the answer because you don't understand it. You can't wrap your brain around the fact that some people don't need a paycheck in order to have an identity or feel secure in the world.

It's sad. Work /= life or happiness.

You're a workaholic. Look it up. Read those articles! I'm saying this for your own good, believe it or not.

DP. Do you provide these articles to your husband, too? Or just to women?

Of course. He's not a workaholic. I wouldn't marry one or stay married to one.

PP works 30 hours a week. Does your husband work less than that?

40-50, guaranteed income of at least 1M which I’m sure you will admit is a pretty good deal. He works on 3 year contracts.

He works remotely in finance and can make his own hours.

I remember you. You post ALL the time with the same details, so you are memorable. There was a thread awhile back where a woman whose husband made under $100k who was considering staying home and I remember you talking about how she should stay home because it was great, damn the financial consequences, because your DH made a lot of money and you like it. You come across as so clueless and judgmental. I read your posts and I feel sorry for you.

Also, the poster you claimed is workaholic works less than your DH, and you claim you wouldn't be married to a workaholic, so I assume you are planning your divorce. Or perhaps we should be honest: you are totally fine with a workaholic husband, you just lash out at women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone presents as a SAHM doesn't mean they're not working on some side projects. My neighbors see me as a SAHM of older kids who just...what does she do during the day? I do "SAHM" things like shopping and cleaning, sure. What I don't tell them is that I'm a writer currently shopping a book.

I just let other parents think I do nothing. At all. All day long. It's fun to let them think it.

They probably literally do not think of you at all. You are spending more time hoping they think of you than they actually do think of you.

LOL

Then WHY all these threads about it?!

Good point.

DCUM is abstract and easy entertainment. It has very little to do with what people spend their time on in their day to day lives. I guarantee you, if you are spending time hoping your neighbors spend a lot of time thinking about your daily schedule, you are bound to be disappointed.

I’m not “hoping” for anything. I am pointing out the FACT that there is at least one lengthy thread on here about this subject per week and sometimes more.

So whether you specifically think about this or not is moot. Obviously other people do.

People talk about this on here because they need the shield of anonymity. People will say and ask things on here that they never would say face to face in real life.

It's still weird behavior on your part.