SAHM shaming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with all the comments I get about being a SAHM of school-age kids (IRL and on DCUM). I know I shouldn’t take it to heart since it works for my family but it is so discouraging. Just today I was thinking what job would satisfy all these people and realize nothing short of the full-time, high power job I left would qualify. For example, if I became a preschool teacher, DCUM would still look down on me.

Eh, if you had the high-powered job, people would ask why you even bothered to have kids if you were just going to have someone else raise them. You can't win.

[Anonymous]

I literally didn’t know SAHM was a thing until I read it on DCUM a couple years ago.

I have never felt it from anyone in my life or in my community or in the media.

OP—. You have to learn to say FU to people, but in a nice way.

[Anonymous]

^^ “SAHM shaming”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with all the comments I get about being a SAHM of school-age kids (IRL and on DCUM). I know I shouldn’t take it to heart since it works for my family but it is so discouraging. Just today I was thinking what job would satisfy all these people and realize nothing short of the full-time, high power job I left would qualify. For example, if I became a preschool teacher, DCUM would still look down on me.

DCUM will look down on you regardless. This place is ridiculous, I have WOHM and SAHM friends, none of us judge and backstab each other like you'll see on here.

[Anonymous]

You need to own your choices and live with the consequences. My kids are both in college now. I chose to quit my career and raise them at home because I could not deal with the whole nanny thing. Do I think it made a difference in the outcome for my children. Can’t really say. But at the end of the day we only get one shot at a life well lived and for me, I am glad I spent that time with my children. I wasn’t destined to cure cancer, but I could possibly make a difference in the lives of my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with all the comments I get about being a SAHM of school-age kids (IRL and on DCUM). I know I shouldn’t take it to heart since it works for my family but it is so discouraging. Just today I was thinking what job would satisfy all these people and realize nothing short of the full-time, high power job I left would qualify. For example, if I became a preschool teacher, DCUM would still look down on me.

Eh, if you had the high-powered job, people would ask why you even bothered to have kids if you were just going to have someone else raise them. You can't win.

This. If you have a high powered job, people will call you neglectful and a terrible parent. You can't win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with all the comments I get about being a SAHM of school-age kids (IRL and on DCUM). I know I shouldn’t take it to heart since it works for my family but it is so discouraging. Just today I was thinking what job would satisfy all these people and realize nothing short of the full-time, high power job I left would qualify. For example, if I became a preschool teacher, DCUM would still look down on me.

Eh, if you had the high-powered job, people would ask why you even bothered to have kids if you were just going to have someone else raise them. You can't win.

This. If you have a high powered job, people will call you neglectful and a terrible parent. You can't win.

Yes, the sweet spot seems to be a part time job working from home that comes with a lot of prestige and pays 400k a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with all the comments I get about being a SAHM of school-age kids (IRL and on DCUM). I know I shouldn’t take it to heart since it works for my family but it is so discouraging. Just today I was thinking what job would satisfy all these people and realize nothing short of the full-time, high power job I left would qualify. For example, if I became a preschool teacher, DCUM would still look down on me.

Eh, if you had the high-powered job, people would ask why you even bothered to have kids if you were just going to have someone else raise them. You can't win.

This. If you have a high powered job, people will call you neglectful and a terrible parent. You can't win.

Yes, the sweet spot seems to be a part time job working from home that comes with a lot of prestige and pays 400k a year.

Don't forget the 400k prestigious (not MLM) and flexible WAH job needs to come with health benefits and a 401k, too just in case your husbnad leaves you, according to DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You won't win. My in laws frown on me for working but my family would frown on my for not working.

Are you me? My in laws just can't believe I'm choosing to work. My mom would be horrified if I gave up my career.

I'm not you, I am me. My MIL gave me shit for sending DD to daycare on NYE. WTF bitch, I have to work! She says, I thought you worked part time? Then she asked about my job and stared at the ceiling after 1 minute from boredom.

[Anonymous]

I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

[Anonymous]

If they are shaming you- they feel insecure or envious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

+1.

[Anonymous]

After DH almost died on me a few months ago leaving me 8 months pregnant with a toddler I don’t give two fs what people think of me anymore. It really helped putting everything into perspective (a SAHM with a previously high powered job and elite schooling who struggled with how people viewed her)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with all the comments I get about being a SAHM of school-age kids (IRL and on DCUM). I know I shouldn’t take it to heart since it works for my family but it is so discouraging. Just today I was thinking what job would satisfy all these people and realize nothing short of the full-time, high power job I left would qualify. For example, if I became a preschool teacher, DCUM would still look down on me.

If you struggle with the comments, then I suggest not soliciting them and also not spending another second of your life imagining what would please an anonymous Internet forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with all the comments I get about being a SAHM of school-age kids (IRL and on DCUM). I know I shouldn’t take it to heart since it works for my family but it is so discouraging. Just today I was thinking what job would satisfy all these people and realize nothing short of the full-time, high power job I left would qualify. For example, if I became a preschool teacher, DCUM would still look down on me.

Eh, if you had the high-powered job, people would ask why you even bothered to have kids if you were just going to have someone else raise them. You can't win.

This. If you have a high powered job, people will call you neglectful and a terrible parent. You can't win.

You can win. It's really easy--just close your browser and don't worry about what people think.