Best friend's husband is being ungrateful or are we wrong? WWYD?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
For real!! Geez!! |
Anonymous
He's supposed to be grateful and gracious that OP gave him a car? Really? |
Anonymous
Their financial problems are such that they’ve apparently had to move in with family, have no working vehicle between them, and might not be able to pay for daycare for their kids. And Mike is apparently the one who is driving the car. So yeah, I’d say that any reasonable, non-obnoxious person would be grateful for the help. If Mike is so proud that he’d rather walk to work and get his kids kicked out of daycare for non-payment than accept help from OP (who has helped them repeatedly in the past) then he should take it up with his wife who is asking her friend for money all the time. Being rude to OP (as stupid as her actions are) is way out of line. |
Anonymous
Not at all. Anything he can do to drive OP away, the better. |
Anonymous
| The guy should come to his senses. He feels emasculated that you are helping out when he can't afford it. |
Anonymous
| Agree, you blew it by buying them a new used car. Not something most people would ever do plus most people would be embarrassed to except it in the first place. As nice as you are it certainly makes you look like rich Princess who throws money around to people less fortunate as yourself. |
Anonymous
The minute you stop giving them money, the friendship will end. This us a graceful way to end it |
Anonymous
| OP you never should have bought her a car. That’s absurd. Do you discuss this with your fiancé? He seems annoyed and I don’t blame him. I think you have a savior complex. You need to get over it and find better friends. |
Anonymous
Just stop. You are not this friend's mother. You are way too involved. Their finances are not your problem to solve. They live with their parents, they are not without a support system. It's not up to you to save them. |
Anonymous
| Accept Anna's apology. Avoid Mike for a while. No more money. |
Anonymous
Ongoing, major help that he wasn't consulted about? I'm not so sure about that! |
Anonymous
| Look at it this way: Mike was mad at you because Anna most have told him that you have been giving them gifts sn |
Anonymous
| 7:22 here. And Anna lied to Mike and didn’t tell him that she has been asking for money. |
Anonymous
| I have a relative whom I gave money to on a regular basis because she didn't finish college and was working hard to make ends meet, sometimes as much as $7,000. All amounts were gifts, not loans. I think it's fine that you are generous to your good friend. Her DH was probably feeling emasculated and lashed out. While that was wrong, you're fiancé was a HUGE a hole for saying what he said. Contrary to what most on this thread have said, I'd keep helping your friend, just like I keep helping my family member, whom I consider my best friend. As your significant other is your fiancé you need to sit down and figure out how all this will work going forward. I was helping my relative before I got married and continued after I got married. My dad was very controlling of money so going in I discussed with DH about us each having a certain amount of money allocated that we could each do with as we pleased. I helped my relative out of that fund. He bought ridiculously expensive golf clubs and things like that. You don't want this impacting you relationship, but you also need to figure out whether what your fiancé did was out of character or if it's how he behaves on a regular basis. It was not a good show as far as his character goes. |
Anonymous
Some people are closer to their friends than their family. If OP was helping a sibling, would you feel the same way? |