Anyone try to cultivate a lifelong interest in a certain university and had it backfire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are ways to live in another part of the country without paying $70k per year in tuition.

But you know what, keep it up. Your full pay tuition will fund my kids' scholarships

You can't turn back time. There's nothing like being age 18-22 and living somewhere all new. I can tell this forum is full of tailgate and state and commuter U parents who have literally no comprehension of what LEAVING for college is like.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think there are ways to experience more than Maryland other than going to another college. In particular, I think paying tens of thousands extra to experience some other town in the US is extremely stupid, when that same money could be spent on exploring dozens of countries and learning a handful of other languages (like I did). But those are just my personal priorities..

If you have only ever lived in Maryland, you have not truly experienced life elsewhere, no matter how much you have traveled.

People place emphasis on the most bizarre things. Now, if you’re talking UMDCP vs a small liberal arts college or something then sure, there is a difference. But people who pay $100K just so their kid can go to Big State U in Madison or Ann Arbor or wherever instead of Big State U in College Park under the rationale of “experiencing life elsewhere!!!!!” are absolute suckers.

This.

No they're not. Diversity of region, thought and classmates ... and getting away from parents ... helps kids grow. It's a privilege parents can provide such an opportunity to their kids. You sound salty you can't afford to give your kids the same luxury.

What does this mean? Like, it sounds really nice, but it’s very fluffy.

DP, but if you don't think living somewhere other than the Mid-Atlantic and specifically the DC region for a stretch doesn't make a difference, then you are deluding yourself.

-Someone who did.

In what ways? List them, please.

-Someone who also did.

Why travel abroad? Why travel, period? Why ever leave your safe bubble? Why ever make new friends (what's wrong with your current friends?!)? Why ever have new experiences?

You can afford a lot of travel and cultural experiences for the 70k per year some of you will pay for over priced schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She means you could spend four years with a bunch of yokels from Wisconsin instead of a bunch of yokels from Virginia. Huuugggeee diversity advantage.

You think spending age 18-22 in the same state you grew up in, two hours from home, mostly the same clique of high school friends, in a college full of kids from the same state, broadens your mind as much as all new state, all new friends, all new region on the country and all the experiences and panic and growth forced on you? Umm...not so much.

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are ways to experience more than Maryland other than going to another college. In particular, I think paying tens of thousands extra to experience some other town in the US is extremely stupid, when that same money could be spent on exploring dozens of countries and learning a handful of other languages (like I did). But those are just my personal priorities..

If you have only ever lived in Maryland, you have not truly experienced life elsewhere, no matter how much you have traveled.

People place emphasis on the most bizarre things. Now, if you’re talking UMDCP vs a small liberal arts college or something then sure, there is a difference. But people who pay $100K just so their kid can go to Big State U in Madison or Ann Arbor or wherever instead of Big State U in College Park under the rationale of “experiencing life elsewhere!!!!!” are absolute suckers.

This.

No they're not. Diversity of region, thought and classmates ... and getting away from parents ... helps kids grow. It's a privilege parents can provide such an opportunity to their kids. You sound salty you can't afford to give your kids the same luxury.

What does this mean? Like, it sounds really nice, but it’s very fluffy.

DP, but if you don't think living somewhere other than the Mid-Atlantic and specifically the DC region for a stretch doesn't make a difference, then you are deluding yourself.

-Someone who did.

In what ways? List them, please.

-Someone who also did.

Why travel abroad? Why travel, period? Why ever leave your safe bubble? Why ever make new friends (what's wrong with your current friends?!)? Why ever have new experiences?

Umm ya, that's kind of point. Why is meeting new friends from suburban Denver or Grand Rapids or Columbus a new experience, but meeting new friends from Maryland not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She means you could spend four years with a bunch of yokels from Wisconsin instead of a bunch of yokels from Virginia. Huuugggeee diversity advantage.

You think spending age 18-22 in the same state you grew up in, two hours from home, mostly the same clique of high school friends, in a college full of kids from the same state, broadens your mind as much as all new state, all new friends, all new region on the country and all the experiences and panic and growth forced on you? Umm...not so much.

Yes.

It depends and u r oversimplifying. I grew up in NC and went to Chapel Hill, along with TONs of other kids from my high school (I went to one of the tw or three most competitive high schools in the state as the Tom, that sent like the 3rd largest group of kids to chapel hill. I maintained exactly one friend from high school. I would sometimes see over kids around and we nicely greeted each other, but honestly everyone I knewixed with other kids from other places. Would it be possible? Yes. Is it common based on my experience (AMD facebook pics I see other the years certainty beat this out)? Not common at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are ways to experience more than Maryland other than going to another college. In particular, I think paying tens of thousands extra to experience some other town in the US is extremely stupid, when that same money could be spent on exploring dozens of countries and learning a handful of other languages (like I did). But those are just my personal priorities..

If you have only ever lived in Maryland, you have not truly experienced life elsewhere, no matter how much you have traveled.

People place emphasis on the most bizarre things. Now, if you’re talking UMDCP vs a small liberal arts college or something then sure, there is a difference. But people who pay $100K just so their kid can go to Big State U in Madison or Ann Arbor or wherever instead of Big State U in College Park under the rationale of “experiencing life elsewhere!!!!!” are absolute suckers.

This.

No they're not. Diversity of region, thought and classmates ... and getting away from parents ... helps kids grow. It's a privilege parents can provide such an opportunity to their kids. You sound salty you can't afford to give your kids the same luxury.

What does this mean? Like, it sounds really nice, but it’s very fluffy.

DP, but if you don't think living somewhere other than the Mid-Atlantic and specifically the DC region for a stretch doesn't make a difference, then you are deluding yourself.

-Someone who did.

In what ways? List them, please.

-Someone who also did.

Why travel abroad? Why travel, period? Why ever leave your safe bubble? Why ever make new friends (what's wrong with your current friends?!)? Why ever have new experiences?

Ah, so you can't answer the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are ways to live in another part of the country without paying $70k per year in tuition.

But you know what, keep it up. Your full pay tuition will fund my kids' scholarships

You can't turn back time. There's nothing like being age 18-22 and living somewhere all new. I can tell this forum is full of tailgate and state and commuter U parents who have literally no comprehension of what LEAVING for college is like.

Agreed, although I'd say this observation may not be true for all of DCUM, but definitely for this thread. They have no idea of why going away to college can be formative/character building--or at least, they'd like to tell themselves that going away for college isn't impactful to resolve their cognitive dissonance about the greater expense.

[Anonymous]

Ya, I went to University of Wisconsin-Madison and always scratched my head at the "coasties" who paid a huge premium to come to Wisconsin but then basically never ventured out of their homogeneous groups of other wealthy, mostly out of state students. WTF is the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are ways to live in another part of the country without paying $70k per year in tuition.

But you know what, keep it up. Your full pay tuition will fund my kids' scholarships

You can't turn back time. There's nothing like being age 18-22 and living somewhere all new. I can tell this forum is full of tailgate and state and commuter U parents who have literally no comprehension of what LEAVING for college is like.

Agreed, although I'd say this observation may not be true for all of DCUM, but definitely for this thread. They have no idea of why going away to college can be formative/character building--or at least, they'd like to tell themselves that going away for college isn't impactful to resolve their cognitive dissonance about the greater expense.

OK, so enlightened. Specifically, tell me what formative/character building my kid is not getting by going to University of Maryland instead of say, Ohio State or University of Florida. And don't just say "diversity of region!" because that doesn't say anything.

[Anonymous]

Enlighten me**^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She means you could spend four years with a bunch of yokels from Wisconsin instead of a bunch of yokels from Virginia. Huuugggeee diversity advantage.

You think spending age 18-22 in the same state you grew up in, two hours from home, mostly the same clique of high school friends, in a college full of kids from the same state, broadens your mind as much as all new state, all new friends, all new region on the country and all the experiences and panic and growth forced on you? Umm...not so much.

You'll get the same parochial worldview endemic to any college where 70% of the students hail from a single state. And I don't exactly know what sort of cosmopolitan experience you anticipate a student having in Madison or Ann Arbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are ways to live in another part of the country without paying $70k per year in tuition.

But you know what, keep it up. Your full pay tuition will fund my kids' scholarships

You can't turn back time. There's nothing like being age 18-22 and living somewhere all new. I can tell this forum is full of tailgate and state and commuter U parents who have literally no comprehension of what LEAVING for college is like.

Agreed, although I'd say this observation may not be true for all of DCUM, but definitely for this thread. They have no idea of why going away to college can be formative/character building--or at least, they'd like to tell themselves that going away for college isn't impactful to resolve their cognitive dissonance about the greater expense.

OK, so enlightened. Specifically, tell me what formative/character building my kid is not getting by going to University of Maryland instead of say, Ohio State or University of Florida. And don't just say "diversity of region!" because that doesn't say anything.

For one, they are more fully "on their own" psychologically. They can't rely on parents coming to campus to solve some problem, come home to wash clothes, etc. They have to learn their way around a new area of the country, which will be different from their own region. Colleges there will pull from different areas of the country. For example, a kid from DC would have a pretty different experience in SoCal.

Of course, many parents would prefer to keep their kids close, and some kids don't feel ready to leave home--both of these are true for a family member of mine who is currently a senior. He'll only consider colleges close to home. In retrospect, one of his parents wishes they allowed him more opportunities for independence along the way (the other parent, who has never lived outside of our home town, wants him to stay close).

I realize that it requires some level of privilege for going "away" to college to even be a consideration. However, if this is at all an option financially, I think it is an experience that can facilitate growth and independence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are ways to live in another part of the country without paying $70k per year in tuition.

But you know what, keep it up. Your full pay tuition will fund my kids' scholarships

You can't turn back time. There's nothing like being age 18-22 and living somewhere all new. I can tell this forum is full of tailgate and state and commuter U parents who have literally no comprehension of what LEAVING for college is like.

Agreed, although I'd say this observation may not be true for all of DCUM, but definitely for this thread. They have no idea of why going away to college can be formative/character building--or at least, they'd like to tell themselves that going away for college isn't impactful to resolve their cognitive dissonance about the greater expense.

OK, so enlightened. Specifically, tell me what formative/character building my kid is not getting by going to University of Maryland instead of say, Ohio State or University of Florida. And don't just say "diversity of region!" because that doesn't say anything.

For one, they are more fully "on their own" psychologically. They can't rely on parents coming to campus to solve some problem, come home to wash clothes, etc. They have to learn their way around a new area of the country, which will be different from their own region. Colleges there will pull from different areas of the country. For example, a kid from DC would have a pretty different experience in SoCal.

Of course, many parents would prefer to keep their kids close, and some kids don't feel ready to leave home--both of these are true for a family member of mine who is currently a senior. He'll only consider colleges close to home. In retrospect, one of his parents wishes they allowed him more opportunities for independence along the way (the other parent, who has never lived outside of our home town, wants him to stay close).

I realize that it requires some level of privilege for going "away" to college to even be a consideration. However, if this is at all an option financially, I think it is an experience that can facilitate growth and independence.

Ok. I guess it just depends on the family. I’m not going to spend $150K extra just so my kid can feel “psychologically” independent or so she does laundry in a dorm basement. (She goes to school four hours away and has never done laundry at home, FWIW). I’ve never gone to campus to solve some problem (who does that?!) and frankly where she goes to school (VT) is plenty different than her urban-suburban upbringing. Again, I don’t feel like you need to go across the country to have new scenery and new challenges. She comes home over Thanksgiving and Christmas and that’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are ways to live in another part of the country without paying $70k per year in tuition.

But you know what, keep it up. Your full pay tuition will fund my kids' scholarships

You can't turn back time. There's nothing like being age 18-22 and living somewhere all new. I can tell this forum is full of tailgate and state and commuter U parents who have literally no comprehension of what LEAVING for college is like.

Agreed, although I'd say this observation may not be true for all of DCUM, but definitely for this thread. They have no idea of why going away to college can be formative/character building--or at least, they'd like to tell themselves that going away for college isn't impactful to resolve their cognitive dissonance about the greater expense.

OK, so enlightened. Specifically, tell me what formative/character building my kid is not getting by going to University of Maryland instead of say, Ohio State or University of Florida. And don't just say "diversity of region!" because that doesn't say anything.

For one, they are more fully "on their own" psychologically. They can't rely on parents coming to campus to solve some problem, come home to wash clothes, etc. They have to learn their way around a new area of the country, which will be different from their own region. Colleges there will pull from different areas of the country. For example, a kid from DC would have a pretty different experience in SoCal.

Of course, many parents would prefer to keep their kids close, and some kids don't feel ready to leave home--both of these are true for a family member of mine who is currently a senior. He'll only consider colleges close to home. In retrospect, one of his parents wishes they allowed him more opportunities for independence along the way (the other parent, who has never lived outside of our home town, wants him to stay close).

I realize that it requires some level of privilege for going "away" to college to even be a consideration. However, if this is at all an option financially, I think it is an experience that can facilitate growth and independence.

Ok. I guess it just depends on the family. I’m not going to spend $150K extra just so my kid can feel “psychologically” independent or so she does laundry in a dorm basement. (She goes to school four hours away and has never done laundry at home, FWIW). I’ve never gone to campus to solve some problem (who does that?!) and frankly where she goes to school (VT) is plenty different than her urban-suburban upbringing. Again, I don’t feel like you need to go across the country to have new scenery and new challenges. She comes home over Thanksgiving and Christmas and that’s it.

+1 if a kid wants to be independent, they will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are ways to live in another part of the country without paying $70k per year in tuition.

But you know what, keep it up. Your full pay tuition will fund my kids' scholarships

You can't turn back time. There's nothing like being age 18-22 and living somewhere all new. I can tell this forum is full of tailgate and state and commuter U parents who have literally no comprehension of what LEAVING for college is like.

Agreed, although I'd say this observation may not be true for all of DCUM, but definitely for this thread. They have no idea of why going away to college can be formative/character building--or at least, they'd like to tell themselves that going away for college isn't impactful to resolve their cognitive dissonance about the greater expense.

OK, so enlightened. Specifically, tell me what formative/character building my kid is not getting by going to University of Maryland instead of say, Ohio State or University of Florida. And don't just say "diversity of region!" because that doesn't say anything.

For one, they are more fully "on their own" psychologically. They can't rely on parents coming to campus to solve some problem, come home to wash clothes, etc. They have to learn their way around a new area of the country, which will be different from their own region. Colleges there will pull from different areas of the country. For example, a kid from DC would have a pretty different experience in SoCal.

Of course, many parents would prefer to keep their kids close, and some kids don't feel ready to leave home--both of these are true for a family member of mine who is currently a senior. He'll only consider colleges close to home. In retrospect, one of his parents wishes they allowed him more opportunities for independence along the way (the other parent, who has never lived outside of our home town, wants him to stay close).

I realize that it requires some level of privilege for going "away" to college to even be a consideration. However, if this is at all an option financially, I think it is an experience that can facilitate growth and independence.

Ok. I guess it just depends on the family. I’m not going to spend $150K extra just so my kid can feel “psychologically” independent or so she does laundry in a dorm basement. (She goes to school four hours away and has never done laundry at home, FWIW). I’ve never gone to campus to solve some problem (who does that?!) and frankly where she goes to school (VT) is plenty different than her urban-suburban upbringing. Again, I don’t feel like you need to go across the country to have new scenery and new challenges. She comes home over Thanksgiving and Christmas and that’s it.

PP here, and I agree that the cost-benefit analysis doesn't always make sense for some families.

There was another thread here where I remember people describing not wanting their kids to go to college outside of driving distance in case of emergency. So yeah, it is a consideration for some parents.

We are many years away from paying for college, but hope to be in a position such that geographic limitations are less a part of the equation than fit. And we both feel that going "away" can be a valuable and exciting part of the experience. YMMV.