Anyone try to cultivate a lifelong interest in a certain university and had it backfire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are going to encourage your kids to be interested in a university, fer chrissake make it a better one than Maryland.

What’s wrong with UMD? Can you articulate specifics?

Different person but because UMD is incompetent all student records from at least 1980 to like 2015 were stolen. I am not giving them money but have to purchase identity theft protection. This is the tip of the iceberg.

Do you refuse to use Marriott and target too?

[Anonymous]

Just way too early for you or your kids to set their sights on ONE school. You can be loyal, that is fine. But don't set anyone up for disappointment or pressure.

As they grow, they will gravitate towards a major, a preferred type of community (big/small, greek/not, LAC or technical). Let that happen naturally, and support/encourage them to be their best self (not your mini-me)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd worry more that they aren't able to get in and feel bitter than you encouraged them to dream about a place that has a very low acceptance rate.

This is why I would be careful. One of my friends is trying to encourage an interest in her out of state Alma mater and I think the kids are going to be really disappointed if they aren't accepted.

[Anonymous]

Pressuring kids can easily backfire. We let our kids decide. One got into a Top LAC ED ant the other applied to 11 schools and got into his first choice. He also had a backup second choice lined up (in case he didn’t get into the first choice). My early attempts to influence their targets didn’t go over well, so we left it up to them (both ended up very happy with their decisions).

[Anonymous]

It's much more fun to let the kids pick their own schools and then get on board as parents.

Plus, picking U. Md. as an anchor point? Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For example, trying to get your kid interested in your alma mater or your state's flagship?

As a Marylander and Maryland grad, I'd be happy if my kids went there (especially with a scholarship), but I wonder if they will be bored of the campus by the time they are college age if they spend too much time there (games, Maryland day etc).

Last thing I'd want is for them to skip the state school and overpay for some mediocre alternative. If they go to some super elite school instead, ok that's fine too.

You can't predict what your kids will like by the time they are ready to apply to colleges so if you enjoy visiting your alma mater by all means take the family. I went to a NESCAC school and often took my son along to reunions and homecoming weekends. He had fun and became close friends with several sons and daughters of my college friends he'd meet at those events. My son was accepted to my alma mater and compared the school to a favorite pair of shoes--loved, well worn and comfortable but too familiar. In the end he decided to attend a larger university in an urban environment. My college friends did the same with their kids and most of them had at least 1 kid follow in their footsteps and attend. So you never know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's much more fun to let the kids pick their own schools and then get on board as parents.

Plus, picking U. Md. as an anchor point? Seriously?

I'm just saying I don't want them to be bored of it actually eliminate it as an option because it is such a good value for Maryland residents. I won't pressure a kid to go to one specific school.

And considering I don't know what type of student my kids will be, there is nothing wrong with maryland. I also would worry about the scenario of them being excited about it and not getting in. It's not always the case that kids are as academically successful as their parents, but I'll do a lot to help prepare them for every opportunity.

[Anonymous]

And actually*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's much more fun to let the kids pick their own schools and then get on board as parents.

Plus, picking U. Md. as an anchor point? Seriously?

I'm just saying I don't want them to be bored of it actually eliminate it as an option because it is such a good value for Maryland residents. I won't pressure a kid to go to one specific school.

And considering I don't know what type of student my kids will be, there is nothing wrong with maryland. I also would worry about the scenario of them being excited about it and not getting in. It's not always the case that kids are as academically successful as their parents, but I'll do a lot to help prepare them for every opportunity.

You can’t tell your kids what to do. Let them decide. No reason to start pressuring them long before they’re ready for college either. I see no point —it will just stress them out.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I didn't mean I would start pressuring them to go there.

I just wanted to spend a lot of time on campus for other reasons without making the school seem too boring or familiar.

My thread title is about my curiosity about other people who really did try to steer their kids to one school though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are going to encourage your kids to be interested in a university, fer chrissake make it a better one than Maryland.

What’s wrong with UMD? Can you articulate specifics?

Different person but because UMD is incompetent all student records from at least 1980 to like 2015 were stolen. I am not giving them money but have to purchase identity theft protection. This is the tip of the iceberg.

Do you refuse to use Marriott and target too?

Adnovirus kills student; mold in dorms; President ousted for doing the first right thing ever in cleaning house in football program; Football player death; Student kills Lt. Collins at a bus stop I used to frequent.

And there is more if you want me to keep listing stuff. At least one student dies each year crossing Baltimore Ave. My kids are not allowed to go. Penn State, VA Tech, and Duke are also on the list of places my kids aren't allowed to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are going to encourage your kids to be interested in a university, fer chrissake make it a better one than Maryland.

What’s wrong with UMD? Can you articulate specifics?

Different person but because UMD is incompetent all student records from at least 1980 to like 2015 were stolen. I am not giving them money but have to purchase identity theft protection. This is the tip of the iceberg.

Do you refuse to use Marriott and target too?

Adnovirus kills student; mold in dorms; President ousted for doing the first right thing ever in cleaning house in football program; Football player death; Student kills Lt. Collins at a bus stop I used to frequent.

And there is more if you want me to keep listing stuff. At least one student dies each year crossing Baltimore Ave. My kids are not allowed to go. Penn State, VA Tech, and Duke are also on the list of places my kids aren't allowed to go.

Lol... try comm college. I am sure EVEN your kids can get in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's much more fun to let the kids pick their own schools and then get on board as parents.

Plus, picking U. Md. as an anchor point? Seriously?

I'm just saying I don't want them to be bored of it actually eliminate it as an option because it is such a good value for Maryland residents. I won't pressure a kid to go to one specific school.

And considering I don't know what type of student my kids will be, there is nothing wrong with maryland. I also would worry about the scenario of them being excited about it and not getting in. It's not always the case that kids are as academically successful as their parents, but I'll do a lot to help prepare them for every opportunity.

You can’t tell your kids what to do. Let them decide. No reason to start pressuring them long before they’re ready for college either. I see no point —it will just stress them out.

+1--also, you don't want to be blamed if you pressure them into going to a certain school and they hate it.

[Anonymous]

Is money a factor?

Because it’s pretty straightforward to tell the kids they’re going instate due to college costs and Maryland is the best of the instate options. I knew families that made this clear and the kids never argued. They understood the financial reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is money a factor?

Because it’s pretty straightforward to tell the kids they’re going instate due to college costs and Maryland is the best of the instate options. I knew families that made this clear and the kids never argued. They understood the financial reasons.

My parents did this too, and I never complained. Just from living at home I knew money was a factor.

OP seems to be asking more about exposure, which I think is fine. But if there is more pressure than occasionally going to fun programs, it may backfire. The kids may not be able to get in if they decide they love it (I had this happen with an in-state school) or it may seem too familiar.