Anyone try to cultivate a lifelong interest in a certain university and had it backfire?

[Anonymous]

The whole idea of “cultivating a lifelong interest in a university” just seems very narrow and sad to me. Like the parent feels like they peaked at age 20 and spends the rest of their life focused on the 4 years the year spent in collegeo.

Is this a sports team thing? I mean, encouraging your kid to cheer for your college football team does not have to translate into that child reliving your college experience for you.

Or, if there is literally one school you can afford so your kid has to go to that one, that’s fine. But just be matter of fact about it. Don’t pretend it’s a great thing or the best school, just be honest. There is no shame, and a lot of wisdom, in graduating with a solid education and no debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This conversation is very interesting to me! I am not originally from the US. In my country, students mostly live at home with parents and commute to school, with a much smaller fraction living in apartment shares near school. The concept of dorm life, the obsession with “finding yourself” in college, etc. are just not big considerations for students and their families. And yet, I’d say that in general, 18-22 year olds in my country problem solve with greater skill and are far more independent than their American counterparts, despite not “going away” to college.

I’m generally not a “get off my lawn!” type when it comes to American parenting, but I think posters here have it backwards. Instill the values of independence, diversity of thought/background/etc., when they are young. If they’ve already experienced those things throughout their lives, then the urgency of needing to go so far away to college (not to mention, the ungodly amount of money it takes to do so) won’t be such an issue. I see so many of my children’s friends and their families getting into debt or metaphorically killing themselves just for this purpose (and oftentimes to schools that aren’t even academically better than their in state options) and I just shake my head.

Excellent point! For us, we’ve been working to instill independence since they were very young. When you’ve done that, it doesn’t matter if they go to school 20 miles or 2000 miles from home, because you know they’re fine either way. For the parents who haven’t, I can see why they would want their kids to go far away.

[Anonymous]

People dissing college park haven't been there recently

It's just as cool as any other place inside the beltway

And having your internships in DC is probably better for your career than having your internships in Pittsburgh

[Anonymous]

The neighborhood is sketchy. Having mom and dad 20 minutes away is different than hours away...plus, having to make ALL new friends, because you recognize no one from your high school is a growth experience. Finally, MD is huge (compared to a smaller LAC). I have heard that during finals week kids have to go home to study because there are no seats in the library.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The neighborhood is sketchy. Having mom and dad 20 minutes away is different than hours away...plus, having to make ALL new friends, because you recognize no one from your high school is a growth experience. Finally, MD is huge (compared to a smaller LAC). I have heard that during finals week kids have to go home to study because there are no seats in the library.

My kid goes to College Park and has never hung out with anyone from his high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The neighborhood is sketchy. Having mom and dad 20 minutes away is different than hours away...plus, having to make ALL new friends, because you recognize no one from your high school is a growth experience. Finally, MD is huge (compared to a smaller LAC). I have heard that during finals week kids have to go home to study because there are no seats in the library.

So how is your kid doing at Towson? Happy that you found a way to cope with the rejection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People dissing college park haven't been there recently

It's just as cool as any other place inside the beltway

And having your internships in DC is probably better for your career than having your internships in Pittsburgh

More Nobels, Academy Awards, Emmys, Pulitzers, Fields Medals, National Championships than all the Va schools and Pitt combined .

I love that this is true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This conversation is very interesting to me! I am not originally from the US. In my country, students mostly live at home with parents and commute to school, with a much smaller fraction living in apartment shares near school. The concept of dorm life, the obsession with “finding yourself” in college, etc. are just not big considerations for students and their families. And yet, I’d say that in general, 18-22 year olds in my country problem solve with greater skill and are far more independent than their American counterparts, despite not “going away” to college.

I’m generally not a “get off my lawn!” type when it comes to American parenting, but I think posters here have it backwards. Instill the values of independence, diversity of thought/background/etc., when they are young. If they’ve already experienced those things throughout their lives, then the urgency of needing to go so far away to college (not to mention, the ungodly amount of money it takes to do so) won’t be such an issue. I see so many of my children’s friends and their families getting into debt or metaphorically killing themselves just for this purpose (and oftentimes to schools that aren’t even academically better than their in state options) and I just shake my head.

What country is this?

Many European countries are like this. Most students will go to the local big universities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This conversation is very interesting to me! I am not originally from the US. In my country, students mostly live at home with parents and commute to school, with a much smaller fraction living in apartment shares near school. The concept of dorm life, the obsession with “finding yourself” in college, etc. are just not big considerations for students and their families. And yet, I’d say that in general, 18-22 year olds in my country problem solve with greater skill and are far more independent than their American counterparts, despite not “going away” to college.

I’m generally not a “get off my lawn!” type when it comes to American parenting, but I think posters here have it backwards. Instill the values of independence, diversity of thought/background/etc., when they are young. If they’ve already experienced those things throughout their lives, then the urgency of needing to go so far away to college (not to mention, the ungodly amount of money it takes to do so) won’t be such an issue. I see so many of my children’s friends and their families getting into debt or metaphorically killing themselves just for this purpose (and oftentimes to schools that aren’t even academically better than their in state options) and I just shake my head.

What country is this?

Many European countries are like this. Most students will go to the local big universities.

Yes, Germany

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The neighborhood is sketchy. Having mom and dad 20 minutes away is different than hours away...plus, having to make ALL new friends, because you recognize no one from your high school is a growth experience. Finally, MD is huge (compared to a smaller LAC). I have heard that during finals week kids have to go home to study because there are no seats in the library.

So how is your kid doing at Towson? Happy that you found a way to cope with the rejection

What an immature reaction. Sounds like YOU are defensive about where your child wound up going to school. I am sorry that you feel that we. We could not be happier with our choice.

[Anonymous]

*feel that way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole idea of “cultivating a lifelong interest in a university” just seems very narrow and sad to me. Like the parent feels like they peaked at age 20 and spends the rest of their life focused on the 4 years the year spent in collegeo.

Is this a sports team thing? I mean, encouraging your kid to cheer for your college football team does not have to translate into that child reliving your college experience for you.

Or, if there is literally one school you can afford so your kid has to go to that one, that’s fine. But just be matter of fact about it. Don’t pretend it’s a great thing or the best school, just be honest. There is no shame, and a lot of wisdom, in graduating with a solid education and no debt.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The neighborhood is sketchy. Having mom and dad 20 minutes away is different than hours away...plus, having to make ALL new friends, because you recognize no one from your high school is a growth experience. Finally, MD is huge (compared to a smaller LAC). I have heard that during finals week kids have to go home to study because there are no seats in the library.

So how is your kid doing at Towson? Happy that you found a way to cope with the rejection

What an immature reaction. Sounds like YOU are defensive about where your child wound up going to school. I am sorry that you feel that we. We could not be happier with our choice.

When you refer to the entire area of college park as sketchy, you don't get a reasonable reaction

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People dissing college park haven't been there recently. I was there last week. My kid did a summer program there last year. College Park is a pit.

It's just as cool as any other place inside the beltway LOL, that is to say, not at all

And having your internships in DC is probably better for your career than having your internships in Pittsburgh. Depends on your interests, career path, and geographic preferences. Believe it or not, there are a lot of people who don’t want to live in this area.

[Anonymous]

Ok, so you think college park sucks. Cool story bro