Reply to Anyone try to cultivate a lifelong interest in a certain university and had it backfire?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are ways to live in another part of the country without paying $70k per year in tuition.

But you know what, keep it up. Your full pay tuition will fund my kids' scholarships[/quote]

You can't turn back time. There's nothing like being age 18-22 and living somewhere all new. [b]I can tell this forum is full of tailgate and state and commuter U parents who have literally no comprehension of what LEAVING for college is like.[/b] [/quote]

Agreed, although I'd say this observation may not be true for all of DCUM, but definitely for this thread.  They have no idea of why going away to college can be formative/character building--or at least, they'd like to tell themselves that going away for college isn't impactful to resolve their cognitive dissonance about the greater expense.[/quote]
OK, so enlightened. Specifically, tell me what formative/character building my kid is not getting by going to University of Maryland instead of say, Ohio State or University of Florida. And don't just say "diversity of region!" because that doesn't say anything. [/quote]

For one, they are more fully "on their own" psychologically.  They can't rely on parents coming to campus to solve some problem, come home to wash clothes, etc.  They have to learn their way around a new area of the country, which will be different from their own region.  Colleges there will pull from different areas of the country.  For example, a kid from DC would have a pretty different experience in SoCal.

Of course, many parents would prefer to keep their kids close, and some kids don't feel ready to leave home--both of these are true for a family member of mine who is currently a senior.  He'll only consider colleges close to home.  In retrospect, one of his parents wishes they allowed him more opportunities for independence along the way (the other parent, who has never lived outside of our home town, wants him to stay close).

I realize that it requires some level of privilege for going "away" to college to even be a consideration.  However, if this is at all an option financially, I think it is an experience that can facilitate growth and independence.  [/quote]
Ok. I guess it just depends on the family. I’m not going to spend $150K extra just so my kid can feel “psychologically” independent or so she does laundry in a dorm basement. (She goes to school four hours away and has never done laundry at home, FWIW). I’ve never gone to campus to solve some problem (who does that?!) and frankly where she goes to school (VT) is plenty different than her urban-suburban upbringing. Again, I don’t feel like you need to go across the country to have new scenery and new challenges. She comes home over Thanksgiving and Christmas and that’s it. [/quote]

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