My daughter got beat up for bullying another child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I wouldn't worry so much about why the school let your family down by allowing your daughter to go on this long. They did, but you have a bigger problem and acting contrite is more likely to get the school on your side than taking on the role of victim. I think it is great that the other girl responded this way. Both will come back to school and your daughter will wear the badge of someone who went too far. The humility will do her good.

Now, what are you going to do with your daughter to teach her kindness. I think she needs some new friends, but that is hard to pull off. I think she needs a zero tolerance policy at home toward any further interaction with this girl. Nurse her wounds and be kind about that, but do not project any of your own anger onto others in her presence.

Be careful not to demand that the other family allow your daughter to apologize. You are the supplicants here.

I think your daughter is grounded at least through halloween.

What horseshit. THe school let OP and her family down? Crap. The school let the victim down but not putting a stop to this after repeated complaints.

Some of you people are just ridiculous. OP's daughter got what she deserved, and the other girl should not be suspended at all. FFS.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry your daughter was hurt, OP, but you should consider your daughter and the other girl lucky that it stopped with bruises and a suspension.

There was a horrible incident in New York where a victim killed the bully. Don't be naive and think that the other child's injuries are less severe than your child's. The psychological damage your daughter did to her may last longer than your daughter's black eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at how many parents are advocating physical violence. Apart from it not being very smart, it is not the right way to handle any situation. It tells me that the other child is equally at fault - if not more. OP's child is at fault, too - but physical violence is a whole new can of worms.

Physical violence is better than emotional violence. Emotional violence has no outlet and never ends. The bullied girl will still feel hurt and alone years later. After a punch is thrown, people forget about the cause of the fight relatively quickly. It's much healthier.

Disagree. It is equal.

[Anonymous]

Let her cry. For God's sake she deserves that and the beat down she got - at a minimum. Don't make this better. This is her chance to learn a lesson. Let her learn it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was crying about her eye, she's whining that it needs to be gone before she goes back to school. Does anyone know how to heal them fast. I don't want her to get teased. I know it's easy to say she deserves it when that's not your child going through it. She's still very young and I know she's hurt physically and emotionally.

-OP

OP, You should inform her that her appearance is the least of her worries. It makes me sad to hear she's hurting but she should be focusing on her actions and the other child rather than worrying about what people think of her. I would have her write an apology to the victim and make sure she delivers it the day she returns. If she were my daughter I'd also make her do some community service to teacher her empathy for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was crying about her eye, she's whining that it needs to be gone before she goes back to school. Does anyone know how to heal them fast. I don't want her to get teased. I know it's easy to say she deserves it when that's not your child going through it. She's still very young and I know she's hurt physically and emotionally.

-OP

You must be a troll. No one can be this oblivious.

No I'm a single mom, who's doing everything on my own and I've never dealt with something like this before. Any advice is really appreciated.

Wait. Is your daughter the little shit who complained about your economical vacations while gloating about her fabulous vacations with dad? If it is, then you should've taken my advice to treat yourself and exclude her until she matured and stoppd being such a shit. You didn't heed any of the good advice you received, did you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both girls were suspended. The girl she bullied got a longer suspension however, due to the fact that my daughter was badly bruised, and the other child was physically unharmed.

-OP

Your daughter provoked and invited the violence through persistent bullying. I’m not convinced at all that the other child should have received a longer suspension. Especially since the bullied student apparently reported the bullying to school authorities previously. What were the adults doing to help the situation? Why hadn’t your daughter been talked to or punished?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you upset or mortified that your daughter lost the fight?

I'm upset that she was in one and got hurt.

-OP

OP, You're not upset that your daughter was hurting some other girl to the point of making her crack? Because if this happened to my daughter I would be questioning where everything went wrong and how I wound up with a daughter who could do this to someone and how I could get her to be a good person. I would be ashamed that someone I raised could behave in such a terrible manner. I would be grateful she seems to have only superficially injuries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take your daughter out on a long, 4 hour hike, and let her get good and hungry, then take her to her favorite fast food restaurant and get a good burger or chicken sandwich and fries... then just when shes about to eat, pour your juice all over her sandwich and fries.

Tell her it is a "silly prank".

Ha ha!

And then make her do service hours in a soup kitchen.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid who was bullied for two years while trying to find every possible way to get it to stop to no avail. Going to school was so stressful it cause anxiety. We finally got a lawyer and was planning to sue everyone involved. It stopped long enough for us to leave the School. There is no way in hell the school would have suspended my kid if physical action had to taken to get relief. You are damn lucky I am not the parent of the other child. Consider yourself and your child lucky that a black is all that happened. Teach your child not to be a bully, you never know who'll be at the receiving end the next time she tries to make someone her victim. I have no patience for those who takes joy out of others misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not excusing what my daughter did at all. She seems very apologetic though. Earlier she was crying while talking to me about the situation. She told me she doesn't want to go back to school. Idk if she's embarrassed or scared but hearing that hurts.

-OP

Because being bullied doesn’t make you not want to go to school either! Jesus. Wake up! Get your daughter help so she cuts this crap out. If I were the parents of the girl who got bullied I would be fighting for her NOT to be suspended. OP’s daughter should have been suspended LONG ago. Pouring something on someone’s lunch? That’s ok?

[Anonymous]

Op,

You need to deal with this. Your daughter is in the wrong. She is lucky that this is the worst thing that happened. She is playing ypu with her tears.

You need to have a real heart to heart with her about how wrong she was, poring juice on someone is not a fun prank. Ever.

Ypu also need to talk to her about why she is doing this. Does she feel she has to to have friends? If so, she needs to find better friends. Is she getting enough positive attention at home? Do you tend to manipulate power amongst friends? Are you teaching her to respect others?

If my son got a black eye from bullying, I would not have an ounce of sympathy. But I woukd try to find out what was driving him to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at how many parents are advocating physical violence. Apart from it not being very smart, it is not the right way to handle any situation. It tells me that the other child is equally at fault - if not more. OP's child is at fault, too - but physical violence is a whole new can of worms.

Physical violence is better than emotional violence. Emotional violence has no outlet and never ends. The bullied girl will still feel hurt and alone years later. After a punch is thrown, people forget about the cause of the fight relatively quickly. It's much healthier.

Said no victim of physical violence ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was crying about her eye, she's whining that it needs to be gone before she goes back to school. Does anyone know how to heal them fast. I don't want her to get teased. I know it's easy to say she deserves it when that's not your child going through it. She's still very young and I know she's hurt physically and emotionally.

-OP

Don't you get it? THIS IS HER PUNISHMENT! She deserves this.

[Anonymous]

Although I understand your feelings since this is your child, you have to think about the fact that your daughter bullied someone for a long time and would not stop. The victim would probably not have been aggressive towards her had she not been bullied by your daughter. So it will end with this incident hopefully and your daughter, if it all normal, will learn not to bully others again. You are making excuses by saying things like she was planning on pouring juice on the other kid's head but it was just a joke. Think about how wrong that is, especially for someone your daughter's age. She definitely knows better.