My daughter got beat up for bullying another child

[Anonymous]

This is unbelievable. Apparently the other girl did the right thing - told an adult about the bullying - and nothing was done to stop it. So, she took matters in her own hands and beat your daughter up. And SHE is suspended? I don't want to pile on to you, OP, because it sounds like you're mad about the bullying as well, but I just have to add that if I was that other student's parent, I'd be fighting her suspension.

To answer your question, I think you should talk to your daughter about how her behavior made the other girl feel and that the other girl was so upset and felt she had no recourse but to fight. I'd also talk to your daughter about what her plans are when she goes back to school. I hate to say it, but sometimes bullies will escalate their bullying when something like this happens. if you are truly upset about the fact that your daughter bullied another girl, I'd talk to her about how she can be friendlier to this girl and to other girls.

[Anonymous]

I'm not excusing what my daughter did at all. She seems very apologetic though. Earlier she was crying while talking to me about the situation. She told me she doesn't want to go back to school. Idk if she's embarrassed or scared but hearing that hurts.

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not excusing what my daughter did at all. She seems very apologetic though. Earlier she was crying while talking to me about the situation. She told me she doesn't want to go back to school. Idk if she's embarrassed or scared but hearing that hurts.

-OP

Yeah you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not excusing what my daughter did at all. She seems very apologetic though. Earlier she was crying while talking to me about the situation. She told me she doesn't want to go back to school. Idk if she's embarrassed or scared but hearing that hurts.

-OP

Of course doesn't want to go back to school. For once, she's the one who feels embarrassed or humiliated instead of the one inflicting that emotion on someone else. She should have to go back to school.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd be interested to know what your daughter and her friends are saying to each other about the incident. Bullies need people around them to support (or encourage) that type of behavior. are her friends telling your daughter it's not fair what happened to her? Are they forming a mob-like mentality in support of your daughter and against the other girl? What are your daughter's friends saying about all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is unbelievable. Apparently the other girl did the right thing - told an adult about the bullying - and nothing was done to stop it. So, she took matters in her own hands and beat your daughter up. And SHE is suspended? I don't want to pile on to you, OP, because it sounds like you're mad about the bullying as well, but I just have to add that if I was that other student's parent, I'd be fighting her suspension.

To answer your question, I think you should talk to your daughter about how her behavior made the other girl feel and that the other girl was so upset and felt she had no recourse but to fight. I'd also talk to your daughter about what her plans are when she goes back to school. I hate to say it, but sometimes bullies will escalate their bullying when something like this happens. if you are truly upset about the fact that your daughter bullied another girl, I'd talk to her about how she can be friendlier to this girl and to other girls.

+1. If it got to the point where my daughter had to physically fight back there is no way I would tolerate a suspension. I can't believe the bullied girl got a suspension past a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not excusing what my daughter did at all. She seems very apologetic though. Earlier she was crying while talking to me about the situation. She told me she doesn't want to go back to school. Idk if she's embarrassed or scared but hearing that hurts.

-OP

OP, she's manipulating you. Bullying is not a "silly prank" and you should not have let her use that line on you. "It was just supposed to be a silly prank, mom!" "Bullying is dangerous and harmful to others, Larla. It is not a prank and it is not silly. You are hurting other people on purpose and don't seem to understand that that is wrong." Etc. Stop excusing her behavior and take this seriously. If my child did that I would be humiliated and seriously question my parenting. Who. cares. if. she. is. crying. She's embarrassed she got caught and the other child is so harmed emotionally she had to resort to physical violence to defend herself. Think about the child you're raising, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'd be interested to know what your daughter and her friends are saying to each other about the incident. Bullies need people around them to support (or encourage) that type of behavior. are her friends telling your daughter it's not fair what happened to her? Are they forming a mob-like mentality in support of your daughter and against the other girl? What are your daughter's friends saying about all this?

She's getting that from her mom, who is more concerned that her bully child is sad than concerned about the welfare of the other child. I hope this is a troll, because goodness gracious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not excusing what my daughter did at all. She seems very apologetic though. Earlier she was crying while talking to me about the situation. She told me she doesn't want to go back to school. Idk if she's embarrassed or scared but hearing that hurts.

-OP

OP, she's manipulating you. Bullying is not a "silly prank" and you should not have let her use that line on you. "It was just supposed to be a silly prank, mom!" "Bullying is dangerous and harmful to others, Larla. It is not a prank and it is not silly. You are hurting other people on purpose and don't seem to understand that that is wrong." Etc. Stop excusing her behavior and take this seriously. If my child did that I would be humiliated and seriously question my parenting. Who. cares. if. she. is. crying. She's embarrassed she got caught and the other child is so harmed emotionally she had to resort to physical violence to defend herself. Think about the child you're raising, OP.

+1 She was going to pour her juice all over the girl's lunch, and she not only thinks she can call that a prank with a straight face, but knows she can convince you she thought it would all be in good fun? OP your daughter is really ostentatiously mean, and she clearly thinks you're an idiot and it looks like she might be right.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't want to go back to school? I'd ask her how she thinks the victim felt about going to school, knowing that kids like your daughter were going to be mean to her and no adult was going to do anything about it.

The other girl should not have hit her, but your daughter did have it coming. She should be crying. I would tell her that I was incredibly disappointed in her behavior, and she would not be spending much time with those "friends" who were egging her on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Natural consequences. Picking on someone and eventually you might get popped. Good for the other kid.

Counseling is probably in order. I'd want to know where she got the idea that this behavior was OK.

This. Also, what kind of school are you in?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes bullies come out of nowhere and the parents do not bear the blame. I know one. This is horrible all around, please take it very seriously and partner with the school and professionals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is unbelievable. Apparently the other girl did the right thing - told an adult about the bullying - and nothing was done to stop it. So, she took matters in her own hands and beat your daughter up. And SHE is suspended? I don't want to pile on to you, OP, because it sounds like you're mad about the bullying as well, but I just have to add that if I was that other student's parent, I'd be fighting her suspension.

To answer your question, I think you should talk to your daughter about how her behavior made the other girl feel and that the other girl was so upset and felt she had no recourse but to fight. I'd also talk to your daughter about what her plans are when she goes back to school. I hate to say it, but sometimes bullies will escalate their bullying when something like this happens. if you are truly upset about the fact that your daughter bullied another girl, I'd talk to her about how she can be friendlier to this girl and to other girls.

+1. If it got to the point where my daughter had to physically fight back there is no way I would tolerate a suspension. I can't believe the bullied girl got a suspension past a day.

Hell yeah. I would be suing to stop the suspension. What else can a kid do after she's already told and adult and nothing is done about the bullying? Also, these are young girls. Not 17 year old boys beating each other up which could be deadly.

[Anonymous]

Are you upset or mortified that your daughter lost the fight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not excusing what my daughter did at all. She seems very apologetic though. Earlier she was crying while talking to me about the situation. She told me she doesn't want to go back to school. Idk if she's embarrassed or scared but hearing that hurts.

-OP

I would have your daughter write an apologetic letter and deliver it to the girl she has been tormenting.