My daughter got beat up for bullying another child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter needs to find better friends. Other girls that won't push her to bully. Is she in any after-school activities?

If I were in the mother's shoes, I would put my daughter in a chess club or robotics class. One, it will allow her to interact with the "nerds" and two, it will get her more in touch with her cerebral side. She cares too much what other think of her and that is why she is bullying.

Chess and robotics are privileges not punishments.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all of the post so maybe this was answered but what else has your daughter done to this girl? You said she bullied the other girl for a while. How long? What if this other girl had committed suicide? I would rather my child get a black eye than that. Horrible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NOT OP but I think maybe being a single mom affects different mothers in different ways. Sometimes it can make you feel more alone and helpless. I don't think OP should use it as an excuse, but I also think people should try and be a bit more compassionate.


+1

Also, some moms are in abusive relationships, and doing the best they can for the time being. The husband/father might seem "perfect" to outsiders, but he might be an SOB to live with - you never really have the full picture

.

None of this has nothing to do with disciplining a teenager for bullying another student.

^^ As stated above, it could, if it went to court.

Soooo, the fact that OP is a single mother would have an impact on a case the victim and her parents may bring against OP? I'm just trying to picture it....and can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NOT OP but I think maybe being a single mom affects different mothers in different ways. Sometimes it can make you feel more alone and helpless. I don't think OP should use it as an excuse, but I also think people should try and be a bit more compassionate.


+1

Also, some moms are in abusive relationships, and doing the best they can for the time being. The husband/father might seem "perfect" to outsiders, but he might be an SOB to live with - you never really have the full picture

.

None of this has nothing to do with disciplining a teenager for bullying another student.

^^ As stated above, it could, if it went to court.

Soooo, the fact that OP is a single mother would have an impact on a case the victim and her parents may bring against OP? I'm just trying to picture it....and can't.

You are missing the point. Every situation is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alright I know this isn't the advice you asked for, but have you thought about putting your girl in some type of boxing lessons or something b/c now the other kids know she can't fight, and she may be a target. It's always good for kids to know how to defend themselves. There's no reason another 13 year old girl should be beating her until she has a black eye.

She's not a fighter at all. I think she was genuinely shocked when the girl hit her.

Most bullies aren't---which is why standing up to them with a good right hook usually gets them off of your back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Glad your little bully bitch got the shit beat out of her.

You're calling a 13 year old a bitch, so what does that make you? An adult bully which is even worse.

^ Exactly! So many of the posters here need to start practicing what they think they are preaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's ironic how many of the critical posters on this thread appear to be full grown bullies themselves!

+1

It is ironic to read all these posts that include name-calling and promoting violence. Talk about ganging up on someone when they are down. All of you vicious posters need to take a look in the mirror.

No one is promoting violence or name calling.

Dumbasses like you are the reason people like OP's daughter are assholes.

Calling someone out for bad behavior is not same as bullying someone.

If someone is being violent against you and no one is doing anything about it and you use violence as a last resort, that's a good thing.

Um...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that was my child bullying another girl, she'd get a second ass whooping from me when she got home. Then she'd be grounded for a month, no electronics, no leaving the house. She'd regret the day she ever decided to mess with that other girl. I don't play that shit in my household.

Why would you inflict more pain on a child by beating her a 2nd time? This thread is full of terrible parenting.

+1


OP. please go see a professional who specializes in adolescents for advice & help for your & your DD. Most of the advice you are getting on this thread is terrible & full of hypocrisy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Natural consequences. Picking on someone and eventually you might get popped. Good for the other kid.

Counseling is probably in order. I'd want to know where she got the idea that this behavior was OK.

Pretty much.

I'm not surprised the other girl finally got fed up. Better she throws a punch than commits suicide or brings a gun to school.

Perhaps your daughter will stop now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many angry posts. Yes, OP' dd was wrong, yes spilling juice onto somebody's head is wrong. Kids make mistakes, people make mistakes. I think this thread is past the point of original post. Yes, OP needs to examine why her DD is a bully. But, honestly, so many pps sounds like insane bullies themselves. The picture I am getting in my head is of a lot of angry parents who have no ideas that they bully their own children.

Fwiw, OP's DD actually poured juice on the other girl's lunch. not her head. That being said, I agree with you. So many bully parents on this thread lashes out & attacking a child for being a bully!

[Anonymous]

Your daughter got what she deserved imo, and Hopefully she learned to not taunt others in the process. If you had better communication with your daughter/school you may have been able to intervene before it led to this. I guess lessons learned all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not excusing what my daughter did at all. She seems very apologetic though. Earlier she was crying while talking to me about the situation. She told me she doesn't want to go back to school. Idk if she's embarrassed or scared but hearing that hurts.

-OP

Of course she doesn't want to go back. Her attitude and behavior just came back on her.

Gee, she might be embarrassed and/or scared!!

Guess how the other girl felt?

Your daughter needs to deal with it and hopefully learn not to torment other people.

She would get no sympathy from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not excusing what my daughter did at all. She seems very apologetic though. Earlier she was crying while talking to me about the situation. She told me she doesn't want to go back to school. Idk if she's embarrassed or scared but hearing that hurts.

-OP

I would have your daughter write an apologetic letter and deliver it to the girl she has been tormenting.

No hiding behind a letter. Apologize in person, in front of other people. The same way she tormented the other girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know as a single mom, everything we deal with is 10x tougher on us than those who have a partner to help them. Hang in there OP.

I believe that, but OP has played down her daughter's actions every step of the way here, including letting her be active on social media on the same day that she got suspended.

Ruining another child's lunch isn't a harmless prank. It is deeply unkind and speaks to a type of class-linked bullying that I worry happens a lot in the DC area.

+1 I think the OP has been using single mom as an excuse for not getting a hold on her daughter's behavior for years, and up until now it's worked. She's been told she's doing great, it's so hard doing the job of two etc. etc.

In fact this might be why the school didn't call he right away because she has a rep for being THAT mom, no matter what she's told she always has an excuse for her daughter. Her daughter in turn has learned that she can do as she pleases and all she has to do is turn on the tear and mom will let her get away with anything.


This needs to be a very big wake up call for OP. Parenting classes, books etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know as a single mom, everything we deal with is 10x tougher on us than those who have a partner to help them. Hang in there OP.

I believe that, but OP has played down her daughter's actions every step of the way here, including letting her be active on social media on the same day that she got suspended.

Ruining another child's lunch isn't a harmless prank. It is deeply unkind and speaks to a type of class-linked bullying that I worry happens a lot in the DC area.

+1 I think the OP has been using single mom as an excuse for not getting a hold on her daughter's behavior for years, and up until now it's worked. She's been told she's doing great, it's so hard doing the job of two etc. etc.

In fact this might be why the school didn't call he right away because she has a rep for being THAT mom, no matter what she's told she always has an excuse for her daughter. Her daughter in turn has learned that she can do as she pleases and all she has to do is turn on the tear and mom will let her get away with anything.


This needs to be a very big wake up call for OP. Parenting classes, books etc.

I do not have a reputation for being a single mother at her school, nor do I need parenting classes. Some of these posts are beyond dramatic.