My daughter got beat up for bullying another child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Hmm - I posted before, but now with your attitude and your daughter's, I'm wondering if you are both somewhat impaired. Does your daughter have Asperger's? Low IQ?

What I'm getting at is: has she been unduly pressured and bullied herself to make her do what she did? Is she particularly vulnerable to that kind of pressure?

Just a thought.

Um no. My daughter doesn't have any mental disabilities. Are you trying to be funny? She's extremely smart and does really well in her classes.

I'm not trying to be funny or offensive, unfortunately, these things happen.

There are plenty of socially clueless (but academically smart) children who try to fit in with a group and get pressured into inappropriate acts.
I was wondering if your daughter wasn't one of those, or alternatively, part of a vulnerable special needs population, because they too can be persuaded to do things.

I was looking for diminished responsibility, but since you don't think it's the case, well, you should stick to being strict, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many angry posts. Yes, OP' dd was wrong, yes spilling juice onto somebody's head is wrong. Kids make mistakes, people make mistakes. I think this thread is past the point of original post. Yes, OP needs to examine why her DD is a bully. But, honestly, so many pps sounds like insane bullies themselves. The picture I am getting in my head is of a lot of angry parents who have no ideas that they bully their own children.

Fwiw, OP's DD actually poured juice on the other girl's lunch. not her head. That being said, I agree with you. So many bully parents on this thread lashes out & attacking a child for being a bully!

^ lashing out, not lashes out

[Anonymous]

Well don’t worry, she won’t bully anymore.

[Anonymous]

To the OP:
You are lucky your kid didn't end up dead for pulling the shit she pulled. Your kid DESERVED to be punched. If I was the principal at your kid's school, I would have suspended the girl who punched your kid. For one day. And I would have expelled your daughter for bullying. You need to do some extremely serious punishment in your house. If my daughter pulled the shit your kid pulled? She'd lose her phone, her electronics and all privileges. For 6 months. No sports, no friends over, just school and home. NOTHING else. No parties. No sleepovers. And I would tell her to her face she got exactly what she deserved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, were you a Mean Girl when you were in school? I think you must've been, because anyone who wasn't a bully themselves would be utterly horrified if their child did what your daughter has done.

No I wasn't, and Idk where you got the idea that I'm not horrified. I punished my daughter like I previously posted.

Are you kidding? Go back and read your responses. You are consoling her, blaming her behavior on her friends, and worrying that she will get bullied herself. You are making excuses.

You have to understand it is HARD for me to see my daughter hurting. I'm her mom. That doesn't mean I'm not disappointed and upset about what she did. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be asking for advice. I'm a single mom, and I'm a little ashamed to tell my family what happened so that's why I came here for help.

Hugs to you OP. It is awfully hard being a parent in situations like these. I can see your dilemma here. Teach your child not to be bitter about this but use it as a learning experience. Time will heal the deepest wounds. Be supportive and close to your daughter, as she heals from her own mistakes.

No, it should not be hard for you to see your kid hurting in this instance. You should be glad she is hurting. Glad she is embarrassed and injured. She deserved it.
Personally, I think the "posters" being sympathetic you are just you responding to your own self.

Personally, I think the "posters" replying to you, OP, in support and saying basically, "oh poor you, it is so very hard isn't it?" are really just you responding to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP:
You are lucky your kid didn't end up dead for pulling the shit she pulled. Your kid DESERVED to be punched. If I was the principal at your kid's school, I would have suspended the girl who punched your kid. For one day. And I would have expelled your daughter for bullying. You need to do some extremely serious punishment in your house. If my daughter pulled the shit your kid pulled? She'd lose her phone, her electronics and all privileges. For 6 months. No sports, no friends over, just school and home. NOTHING else. No parties. No sleepovers. And I would tell her to her face she got exactly what she deserved.

6 months?? Really. How exactly is that gonna teach the child anything except to resent you and possibly rebel more. Honestly the OP may be too relaxed but I think this thread is showing she's not the only one struggling with parenting.

[Anonymous]

There's no reason to punish a child for half a year. That's absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no reason to punish a child for half a year. That's absurd.

Agree this. I'll go even further and call complete BS on those parents who say they'd do so.

It's easy to come down hard on someone you don't know, when you haven't been in their shoes. I agree with the sentiment in some of the posts about OP not taking this seriously enough. But, some of these posts are just mean to be mean and are over the top. Be constructive or shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many angry posts. Yes, OP' dd was wrong, yes spilling juice onto somebody's head is wrong. Kids make mistakes, people make mistakes. I think this thread is past the point of original post. Yes, OP needs to examine why her DD is a bully. But, honestly, so many pps sounds like insane bullies themselves. The picture I am getting in my head is of a lot of angry parents who have no ideas that they bully their own children.

Fwiw, OP's DD actually poured juice on the other girl's lunch. not her head. That being said, I agree with you. So many bully parents on this thread lashes out & attacking a child for being a bully!

^ lashing out, not lashes out

PP you are replying to. I made so many spelling mistakes too! Sorry. Thanks for correction.

[Anonymous]

I would punish her for about a month. And especially no going out on Halloween. She may whine and cry but stand your ground OP

[Anonymous]

OP, you keep responding defensively and dismissively. Have you searched through your child's social media accounts yet? You haven't, have you? Because you don't want to make her mad at you. And you know the truth is you don't want to know how awful your daughter really is because you're not proceed to do the hard work of parenting her now. You're not going to call the parents of her friends, are you? You're not going to ask her to ask her for a full confession, are you?

Even though the child your daughter tormented could be scarred for years because of your daughter, you don't want your daughter to feel even slightly bad for more than a day or two, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you keep responding defensively and dismissively. Have you searched through your child's social media accounts yet? You haven't, have you? Because you don't want to make her mad at you. And you know the truth is you don't want to know how awful your daughter really is because you're not proceed to do the hard work of parenting her now. You're not going to call the parents of her friends, are you? You're not going to ask her to ask her for a full confession, are you?

Even though the child your daughter tormented could be scarred for years because of your daughter, you don't want your daughter to feel even slightly bad for more than a day or two, do you?

It feels like nobody remembers middle school or knows anything about their kids' middle school experience and base their advice on all the media horror stories.

[Anonymous]

OP, your daughter needs counseling. Stat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Hmm - I posted before, but now with your attitude and your daughter's, I'm wondering if you are both somewhat impaired. Does your daughter have Asperger's? Low IQ?

What I'm getting at is: has she been unduly pressured and bullied herself to make her do what she did? Is she particularly vulnerable to that kind of pressure?

Just a thought.

Um no. My daughter doesn't have any mental disabilities. Are you trying to be funny? She's extremely smart and does really well in her classes.

OP, Asperger's is not a mental disability, it's biological - the brain is wired differently.
Your DD may be picking up on your views of others & observing how you treat others, resulting in mean girl behavior.
Maybe work on yourself and strive to act like the kind of person you want your daughter to be & this may help your daughter to be a better person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you keep responding defensively and dismissively. Have you searched through your child's social media accounts yet? You haven't, have you? Because you don't want to make her mad at you. And you know the truth is you don't want to know how awful your daughter really is because you're not proceed to do the hard work of parenting her now. You're not going to call the parents of her friends, are you? You're not going to ask her to ask her for a full confession, are you?

Even though the child your daughter tormented could be scarred for years because of your daughter, you don't want your daughter to feel even slightly bad for more than a day or two, do you?

It feels like nobody remembers middle school or knows anything about their kids' middle school experience and base their advice on all the media horror stories.

+1

Kardahsian-itis gone awry. You women are nuts.