My daughter got beat up for bullying another child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP:
You are lucky your kid didn't end up dead for pulling the shit she pulled. Your kid DESERVED to be punched. If I was the principal at your kid's school, I would have suspended the girl who punched your kid. For one day. And I would have expelled your daughter for bullying. You need to do some extremely serious punishment in your house. If my daughter pulled the shit your kid pulled? She'd lose her phone, her electronics and all privileges. For 6 months. No sports, no friends over, just school and home. NOTHING else. No parties. No sleepovers. And I would tell her to her face she got exactly what she deserved.

LOL. You cray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know as a single mom, everything we deal with is 10x tougher on us than those who have a partner to help them. Hang in there OP.

I believe that, but OP has played down her daughter's actions every step of the way here, including letting her be active on social media on the same day that she got suspended.

Ruining another child's lunch isn't a harmless prank. It is deeply unkind and speaks to a type of class-linked bullying that I worry happens a lot in the DC area.

+1 I think the OP has been using single mom as an excuse for not getting a hold on her daughter's behavior for years, and up until now it's worked. She's been told she's doing great, it's so hard doing the job of two etc. etc.

In fact this might be why the school didn't call he right away because she has a rep for being THAT mom, no matter what she's told she always has an excuse for her daughter. Her daughter in turn has learned that she can do as she pleases and all she has to do is turn on the tear and mom will let her get away with anything.


This needs to be a very big wake up call for OP. Parenting classes, books etc.

I do not have a reputation for being a single mother at her school, nor do I need parenting classes. Some of these posts are beyond dramatic.

+1

If you have any superintendents in your family, you know they have heard it all - we hear great stories at holiday dinners (mostly about parents and how it is never their child's fault - always the other kid! LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Hmm - I posted before, but now with your attitude and your daughter's, I'm wondering if you are both somewhat impaired. Does your daughter have Asperger's? Low IQ?

What I'm getting at is: has she been unduly pressured and bullied herself to make her do what she did? Is she particularly vulnerable to that kind of pressure?

Just a thought.

Um no. My daughter doesn't have any mental disabilities. Are you trying to be funny? She's extremely smart and does really well in her classes.

I'm not trying to be funny or offensive, unfortunately, these things happen.

There are plenty of socially clueless (but academically smart) children who try to fit in with a group and get pressured into inappropriate acts.
I was wondering if your daughter wasn't one of those, or alternatively, part of a vulnerable special needs population, because they too can be persuaded to do things.

I was looking for diminished responsibility, but since you don't think it's the case, well, you should stick to being strict, OP.

I'm convinced everyone on this site is nuts. Did you just diagnose a child with autism b/c she's been bullying a girl. Something that isn't too uncommon for girls her age to take part in. Look, yes it's awful and yes she should be punished, but I'm convinced half of the people in this thread need counseling their damn selves. OP's dd is just a bratty teenage girl who got a taste of her own medicine. She's 13. She has plenty of time to change and grow if her mom uses this opportunity to better her and teach her EMPATHY. I'm sure everyone here has made mistakes when they were young that didn't determine who they were for the rest of their lives. I'm just saying everyone needs to get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your daughter needs counseling. Stat.

I posted the same way earlier in the thread.

OP - call her doctor and ask for a referral. Or call your insurance company to ask who are participating providers for therapy.

You do need to go through her social media. I hope you still have her phone.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is a brat and deserves getting her ass kicked. What is going on in your house to cause this? How do you behave? Children model acceptable behavior from their parents. Do some soul searching and try to be a better parent.

[Anonymous]

I'm convinced everyone on this site is nuts. Did you just diagnose a child with autism b/c she's been bullying a girl. Something that isn't too uncommon for girls her age to take part in. Look, yes it's awful and yes she should be punished, but I'm convinced half of the people in this thread need counseling their damn selves. OP's dd is just a bratty teenage girl who got a taste of her own medicine. She's 13. She has plenty of time to change and grow if her mom uses this opportunity to better her and teach her EMPATHY. I'm sure everyone here has made mistakes when they were young that didn't determine who they were for the rest of their lives. I'm just saying everyone needs to get a grip.

Oh yeah, we've all made mistakes. Yet, I hazard to guess the vast majority of people haven't repeatedly bullied another student. It wasn't just one mistake, it was horrific mistake over and over again. I'm afraid OP's DD won't learn the lesson she's supposed to from this incident because OP feels more sorry for the comeuppance her DD got rather than she feels horror at what her DD did to provoke her victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm convinced everyone on this site is nuts. Did you just diagnose a child with autism b/c she's been bullying a girl. Something that isn't too uncommon for girls her age to take part in. Look, yes it's awful and yes she should be punished, but I'm convinced half of the people in this thread need counseling their damn selves. OP's dd is just a bratty teenage girl who got a taste of her own medicine. She's 13. She has plenty of time to change and grow if her mom uses this opportunity to better her and teach her EMPATHY. I'm sure everyone here has made mistakes when they were young that didn't determine who they were for the rest of their lives. I'm just saying everyone needs to get a grip.

Oh yeah, we've all made mistakes. Yet, I hazard to guess the vast majority of people haven't repeatedly bullied another student. It wasn't just one mistake, it was horrific mistake over and over again. I'm afraid OP's DD won't learn the lesson she's supposed to from this incident because OP feels more sorry for the comeuppance her DD got rather than she feels horror at what her DD did to provoke her victim.

I agree with both of these posts. OP'S dd can absolutely change and become a better person BUT only if OP stops coddling her dd and shows her some serious tough love. Don't enable her bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Natural consequences. Picking on someone and eventually you might get popped. Good for the other kid.

Counseling is probably in order. I'd want to know where she got the idea that this behavior was OK.

100% agree. I applaud the other girl; if she was my child I would be proud of her. Your daughter is a jerk and a bully and somehow has been allowed to get away with terrorizing someone else. There should be ZERO sympathy for her and she should be punished for bullying by YOU.

+1. Your daughter for what she had coming. No sympathy for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know as a single mom, everything we deal with is 10x tougher on us than those who have a partner to help them. Hang in there OP.

I believe that, but OP has played down her daughter's actions every step of the way here, including letting her be active on social media on the same day that she got suspended.

Ruining another child's lunch isn't a harmless prank. It is deeply unkind and speaks to a type of class-linked bullying that I worry happens a lot in the DC area.

+1 I think the OP has been using single mom as an excuse for not getting a hold on her daughter's behavior for years, and up until now it's worked. She's been told she's doing great, it's so hard doing the job of two etc. etc.

In fact this might be why the school didn't call he right away because she has a rep for being THAT mom, no matter what she's told she always has an excuse for her daughter. Her daughter in turn has learned that she can do as she pleases and all she has to do is turn on the tear and mom will let her get away with anything.


This needs to be a very big wake up call for OP. Parenting classes, books etc.

I do not have a reputation for being a single mother at her school, nor do I need parenting classes. Some of these posts are beyond dramatic.

Consensus is rare here but the consensus seems to be that yes, you absolutely DO need a parenting class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old daughter has been bullying another girl in her class for awhile apparently. The other child finally snapped and beat up my daughter during lunch at school. The day of the incident, my daughter had been dared by her friends to pour juice on the other girl's lunch. My daughter told me it was just supposed to be a silly prank, but when I spoke with the school counselor, she informed me the girl had made other complaints about my daughter bullying her. I'm furious because my child is physically hurt. She came home with a black eye among other bruises. But I'm also upset that she was bullying another girl. She has been suspended for a week from school. I'm torn between sympathizing with my daughter because she's hurt and been crying a lot, but I also want to be stern and let her know bullying isn't tolerated. How should I handle this situation and prevent it from happening again?

Seems like the other child handled it for you. And you don't need to worry about it happening again. I highly doubt your daughter will mess with her again unless she wants her other eye blacked as well. haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your daughter needs counseling. Stat.

I posted the same way earlier in the thread.

OP - call her doctor and ask for a referral. Or call your insurance company to ask who are participating providers for therapy.

You do need to go through her social media. I hope you still have her phone.

I agree with this. Further coming down on OP is bullying, in itself and needs to stop. It is shocking how hypocritical PPs are. Actually, maybe it is not shocking at all.

On another note, I have seem some tween/teen groups make plans, and another child insist on finding out the details, and attending, uninvited - even though the group said nothing and clearly did not want that extra person attending - because of his past inappropriate behaviors. They were happy with their friend group the way it was, without a bully, so they tried to proceed onward. Except that (what turned out to be) the bully parent would not let it drop - and this was high school age. The bully parent would have been better off helping their child make new friends that they "approved" of - they were not willing to parent themselves, but very willing to try to tell other parents what to do. It is as absurd as it sounds, and the parents got an enormous reputation for being troublemakers, because of how they acted (including gossiping about other parents and trying to get parents to team up against other children - see where they learn the bullying??)

Teach your child that if someone does not want you around, or if someone does not treat you well, to stay away and find new friends. It will be a valuable (priceless), life long lesson for your child, and you will be avoiding the need to make accusations on other children - which no doubt, leads to those parents stepping it up more than you anticipate.

This is not the case here, but a lot of "bullying" isn't bullying at all. In fact, the aggressor is sometimes the DC that makes the "bullying" accusation, to begin with. As for OP, we do not have the full story at all. For all we know the other child could have done something to OPs child. In fact, OP may not yet know about it. OP, you need to investigate further, and get the entire story, for yourself. If the other child's parents start bullying, as the PPs here, they are no better, and getting themselves into trouble. In fact, I doubt very much that the other parent has the entire story. It is usually the case.

[jsteele]

Round and round we go. Were it will end, nobody knows. Except me.