My brother and his wife don't "do" Santa

[Anonymous]

I would not spend Christmas Eve/Christmas Day with them. My kids are long past Santa, but it was a really important tradition when they were little. I wouldn't have deprived them of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally wouldn't spend Christmas with them until your kids aged out of the Santa thing.

This. We do stockings, but I think the "magic" of santa is kinda bullshit. There's lots of other magic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I can't believe some people think believing in the "Santa magic" is more important than spending Christmas with your family.

Also, is their "belief" in Santa so delicate that they can't tolerate dissenting opinions? It's a good thing they belong to a majority religion so they don't need to worry about what would happen if they're surrounded by people who have different beliefs.

These kids are 4. Tolerance of dissenting opinions is sort of not in their vocabulary yet.

Spoken by a person who is either of a majority race or religion. Yes, we have talked to our 4 year old about how there are
other religions besides ours, and why the entire month of December is devoted to a holiday we don't celebrate.

Christmas in the US is cultural, dearie.

Yes, it's "cultural," but a lot of people don't celebrate it, because they are not even nominally Christian. None of the Jewish families I know celebrate Christmas (unless one of the parents is Jewish and one is not). Their kids grew up understanding that other people did things like believe in Santa, but that they did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I can't believe some people think believing in the "Santa magic" is more important than spending Christmas with your family.

Also, is their "belief" in Santa so delicate that they can't tolerate dissenting opinions? It's a good thing they belong to a majority religion so they don't need to worry about what would happen if they're surrounded by people who have different beliefs.

These kids are 4. Tolerance of dissenting opinions is sort of not in their vocabulary yet.

Spoken by a person who is either of a majority race or religion. Yes, we have talked to our 4 year old about how there are
other religions besides ours, and why the entire month of December is devoted to a holiday we don't celebrate.

Christmas in the US is cultural, dearie.

I hope you don't speak for most Christians.

[Anonymous]

I would either tell your kids that Santa is coming another day since you are going to your brother's our not spend it with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Larlo, not everyone believes in Santa. Many people who don't celebrate Christmas (like Jews or Muslims) do not believe. Santa Claus only visits those houses where families believe in him. So he'll visit our house, but he won't visit your cousin's house because we believe, but they don't.

+1 Such a simple solution/explanation!

And really, you think Santa is more important than family bonds?? #priorities

This what we said, we have tons of friends that are Jewish. I did not think to discuss it at 4 and my son was beside himself when he came home from preschool and told us that we forgot to celebrate Hanukkah.

OP is talking about spending the night in the same home on Christmas Eve with both families having similar aged kids...one who Santa visits and one who Santa does not visit.

This is not at all similar to having a Jewish or muslim friend who does different holidays, or even cousins in a different home/town/state who celebrate differently.

You bringing up hannukah is like comparing apples and chocolate bars.

Chillax lady! I know what she is dealing with... the point is a 4 year old understand that everybody has different belief systems and it's not a big deal. Everybody is different, it's time for it to be the norm and not a big deal.

It's actually funny... OMG we forgot hanukkah... i laughed, so what, my son was not traumatized.

So what ... some kids get presents from parents, Santa and g-parents. Other get presents from parent and g-parents. It's not a big deal.

What you keep saying is not even remotely the same as OPs issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe you are annoyed with your brother for how he chooses to celebrate a holiday in his house. It's okay for people to not do Santa, if you don't want to be a part of that you should consider staying home.

+1
Other people are entitled to live by their own principles. In your brother's case, he's holding to celebrate Christmas as a sacred holiday. That you're annoyed with that is astounding.

It's a big world with many ideas in it. Live with that. Besides - if your kids are young enough to believe in Santa they're still pretty focused on themselves and not what other people are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe you are annoyed with your brother for how he chooses to celebrate a holiday in his house. It's okay for people to not do Santa, if you don't want to be a part of that you should consider staying home.

+1
Other people are entitled to live by their own principles. In your brother's case, he's holding to celebrate Christmas as a sacred holiday. That you're annoyed with that is astounding.

It's a big world with many ideas in it. Live with that. Besides - if your kids are young enough to believe in Santa they're still pretty focused on themselves and not what other people are doing.

I think she is more worried that her brother's child will wonder why Santa did not bring him/her anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, if I had young kids and a relative who didn't "do" Santa, I wouldn't celebrate with those relatives. Because there is no way in hell you're getting out of there with your kids' belief in Santa intact.

Take it from those of us whose kids don't celebrate Christmas. Their belief system is strong enough to manage interacting with kids who don't share their beliefs-- and live in a culture that celebrates different holidays. It is sweet that you want to shield your kids from any contrasting views, but understand that that's a position of privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, if I had young kids and a relative who didn't "do" Santa, I wouldn't celebrate with those relatives. Because there is no way in hell you're getting out of there with your kids' belief in Santa intact.

Take it from those of us whose kids don't celebrate Christmas. Their belief system is strong enough to manage interacting with kids who don't share their beliefs-- and live in a culture that celebrates different holidays. It is sweet that you want to shield your kids from any contrasting views, but understand that that's a position of privilege.

How would your young kids have handled a similar aged cousin sleeping over at Christmas Eve and Santa leaving presents for the cousins but not for them?

Knowing how young kids operate, I imagine this woukd be exceptionally difficult for young kids, even from families with strong belief systems.

I think this is going to be even more pronounced since OP said this is the first year her brother is going all out on no Santa.

[Anonymous]

Santa is so depressing. I can't believe all these people who would skip seeing their families just to "keep the magic alive."

It started as a nice tradition but people are way too invested in it. This makes me wonder, will my grandchildren's generation feel this strongly about elf on the shelf? Will they skip visiting family because they don't celebrate the right way?

All of these santa are depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, if I had young kids and a relative who didn't "do" Santa, I wouldn't celebrate with those relatives. Because there is no way in hell you're getting out of there with your kids' belief in Santa intact.

Take it from those of us whose kids don't celebrate Christmas. Their belief system is strong enough to manage interacting with kids who don't share their beliefs-- and live in a culture that celebrates different holidays. It is sweet that you want to shield your kids from any contrasting views, but understand that that's a position of privilege.

How would your young kids have handled a similar aged cousin sleeping over at Christmas Eve and Santa leaving presents for the cousins but not for them?

Knowing how young kids operate, I imagine this woukd be exceptionally difficult for young kids, even from families with strong belief systems.

I think this is going to be even more pronounced since OP said this is the first year her brother is going all out on no Santa.

I'm guessing this is going to be a traditional Christmas where everyone will get multiple presents. Unless someone calls attention to it, no ones going to notice who got presents from whom. Really, you are overthinking it.

Are you saying these kids think that all kids get presents from Santa and celebrate Christmas? They've never met kids who don't believe in Santa? "Some kids believe in Santa and some kids don't." Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, if I had young kids and a relative who didn't "do" Santa, I wouldn't celebrate with those relatives. Because there is no way in hell you're getting out of there with your kids' belief in Santa intact.

Take it from those of us whose kids don't celebrate Christmas. Their belief system is strong enough to manage interacting with kids who don't share their beliefs-- and live in a culture that celebrates different holidays. It is sweet that you want to shield your kids from any contrasting views, but understand that that's a position of privilege.

How would your young kids have handled a similar aged cousin sleeping over at Christmas Eve and Santa leaving presents for the cousins but not for them?

Knowing how young kids operate, I imagine this woukd be exceptionally difficult for young kids, even from families with strong belief systems.

I think this is going to be even more pronounced since OP said this is the first year her brother is going all out on no Santa.

I'm guessing this is going to be a traditional Christmas where everyone will get multiple presents. Unless someone calls attention to it, no ones going to notice who got presents from whom. Really, you are overthinking it.

Are you saying these kids think that all kids get presents from Santa and celebrate Christmas? They've never met kids who don't believe in Santa? "Some kids believe in Santa and some kids don't." Done.

No.

Other kids not getting Santa presents is not an issue.

Similar aged young kids waking up in the same house on Christmas morning and only half of them getting Santa presents while the other kids do not get Santa presents is a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, if I had young kids and a relative who didn't "do" Santa, I wouldn't celebrate with those relatives. Because there is no way in hell you're getting out of there with your kids' belief in Santa intact.

Take it from those of us whose kids don't celebrate Christmas. Their belief system is strong enough to manage interacting with kids who don't share their beliefs-- and live in a culture that celebrates different holidays. It is sweet that you want to shield your kids from any contrasting views, but understand that that's a position of privilege.

How would your young kids have handled a similar aged cousin sleeping over at Christmas Eve and Santa leaving presents for the cousins but not for them?

Knowing how young kids operate, I imagine this woukd be exceptionally difficult for young kids, even from families with strong belief systems.

I think this is going to be even more pronounced since OP said this is the first year her brother is going all out on no Santa.

I'm guessing this is going to be a traditional Christmas where everyone will get multiple presents. Unless someone calls attention to it, no ones going to notice who got presents from whom. Really, you are overthinking it.

Are you saying these kids think that all kids get presents from Santa and celebrate Christmas? They've never met kids who don't believe in Santa? "Some kids believe in Santa and some kids don't." Done.

No.

Other kids not getting Santa presents is not an issue.

Similar aged young kids waking up in the same house on Christmas morning and only half of them getting Santa presents while the other kids do not get Santa presents is a big deal.

(A) only if you draw attention to it. They're presents. Kids are happy to receive presents.
(B) could be a great time to rethink whether to keep up with a lie that's unrelated to the meaning of Christmas and ease ones kids into reality: that their loving parents buy them gifts every year. That's the truth and it ought to be just as wondrous.

Here's why we've never told our kids Santa was real: because we're raising them to understand how lucky we and they are to have the life we do, including our own home and cars and food toys and trips to the beach. Santa doesn't bring poor kids what he brings better off kids. I've no intention of teaching my kids that a magic man gives them more...just magically. Nor that what they have came out of nowhere. It came from hard work and from our being fortunate to have an education that enables us to earn money.

If they want wonder, they have our love and they have meeting for worship, Christmas music, and our Christmas Day nature hike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, if I had young kids and a relative who didn't "do" Santa, I wouldn't celebrate with those relatives. Because there is no way in hell you're getting out of there with your kids' belief in Santa intact.

Take it from those of us whose kids don't celebrate Christmas. Their belief system is strong enough to manage interacting with kids who don't share their beliefs-- and live in a culture that celebrates different holidays. It is sweet that you want to shield your kids from any contrasting views, but understand that that's a position of privilege.

How would your young kids have handled a similar aged cousin sleeping over at Christmas Eve and Santa leaving presents for the cousins but not for them?

Knowing how young kids operate, I imagine this woukd be exceptionally difficult for young kids, even from families with strong belief systems.

I think this is going to be even more pronounced since OP said this is the first year her brother is going all out on no Santa.

I'm guessing this is going to be a traditional Christmas where everyone will get multiple presents. Unless someone calls attention to it, no ones going to notice who got presents from whom. Really, you are overthinking it.

Are you saying these kids think that all kids get presents from Santa and celebrate Christmas? They've never met kids who don't believe in Santa? "Some kids believe in Santa and some kids don't." Done.

No.

Other kids not getting Santa presents is not an issue.

Similar aged young kids waking up in the same house on Christmas morning and only half of them getting Santa presents while the other kids do not get Santa presents is a big deal.

(A) only if you draw attention to it. They're presents. Kids are happy to receive presents.
(B) could be a great time to rethink whether to keep up with a lie that's unrelated to the meaning of Christmas and ease ones kids into reality: that their loving parents buy them gifts every year. That's the truth and it ought to be just as wondrous.

Here's why we've never told our kids Santa was real: because we're raising them to understand how lucky we and they are to have the life we do, including our own home and cars and food toys and trips to the beach. Santa doesn't bring poor kids what he brings better off kids. I've no intention of teaching my kids that a magic man gives them more...just magically. Nor that what they have came out of nowhere. It came from hard work and from our being fortunate to have an education that enables us to earn money.

If they want wonder, they have our love and they have meeting for worship, Christmas music, and our Christmas Day nature hike.

Thank you. These Santa threads were making me lose hope. Thank you for being a reasonable Christmas-celebrating person.