My brother and his wife don't "do" Santa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have a 4 year old DD, same as my DS. We don't go crazy with Santa gifts , don't talk about behavior to get presents, Santa's watching, etc., but we do play the game, go see Santa, put out cookies, read the stories, etc. They have said that Santa doesn't come to see them, or Santa isn't real, or something to that effect. We are spending Christmas with them and I don't want to ruin the Santa magic for our DS. They celebrate Christmas and the Jesus aspect of it (just like we do). I know at family gatherings, well-meaning adults will ask them what Santa brought them, and they are like glue when together because they're the same age.

Part of me is annoyed with my brother about this, I'll be honest. You don't have to buy out Toys R Us and obviously they can parent however they see fit, but I don't understand it. We grew up with Santa, didn't develop a complex over it, although we have both scaled down the amount of gifts involved in Christmas. I will politely (try to) keep my mouth shut about it.

Magic of childhood, beauty of Christmas, manger, Jesus, star, etc. Your brother has a child and doesn't want to have the few [brief period] years where the child believes in Santa. If OP's brother simply ignored Santa I guess there would not be any issue.

Perhaps the brother doesn't politely keep his mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally wouldn't spend Christmas with them until your kids aged out of the Santa thing.

Neither would I. I honestly don't see how you can get through the day without confronting this and your kids finding out.

+1. Your 4yo will end up stopping believing in Santa so much earlier. At 4 my kids talked non stop about Santa, drew pictures for him, etc. then you'll have the little 4yo cousin say once to your kid, Santa isn't real then your son will doubt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally wouldn't spend Christmas with them until your kids aged out of the Santa thing.

Neither would I. I honestly don't see how you can get through the day without confronting this and your kids finding out.

+1. Your 4yo will end up stopping believing in Santa so much earlier. At 4 my kids talked non stop about Santa, drew pictures for him, etc. then you'll have the little 4yo cousin say once to your kid, Santa isn't real then your son will doubt.

Get over it. Don't expect other parents to support your lies.

[Anonymous]

We are spending Christmas with them and I don't want to ruin the Santa magic for our DS.

Why on earth are you spending Christmas with them? YOUR PROBLEM. You agreed to this? I haven't read the whole thread but geeez.

[Anonymous]

Op, it's not an issue of "their way" or "your way"
Instead it's WHY are you so stupid to accept this invitation?
Of course it's a problem!!

[Anonymous]

I could see a serious reason for conflict if it was Jesus vs. Atheist where religious beliefs might be at odds.

But SANTA? The obese imaginary child molestor-type guy who is a symbol of the rampant overcommercialization of Christmas?

You care about perpetuating the false notion of SANTA?

Un.fackin.beliveable.

[Anonymous]

My kids just assumed the kids who didn't believe in Santa were the bad kids on the naughty list. Fine with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have a 4 year old DD, same as my DS. We don't go crazy with Santa gifts , don't talk about behavior to get presents, Santa's watching, etc., but we do play the game, go see Santa, put out cookies, read the stories, etc. They have said that Santa doesn't come to see them, or Santa isn't real, or something to that effect. We are spending Christmas with them and I don't want to ruin the Santa magic for our DS. They celebrate Christmas and the Jesus aspect of it (just like we do). I know at family gatherings, well-meaning adults will ask them what Santa brought them, and they are like glue when together because they're the same age.

Part of me is annoyed with my brother about this, I'll be honest. You don't have to buy out Toys R Us and obviously they can parent however they see fit, but I don't understand it. We grew up with Santa, didn't develop a complex over it, although we have both scaled down the amount of gifts involved in Christmas. I will politely (try to) keep my mouth shut about it.

Ugh, nothing annoys me more than families like this. I would have to think it his wife leading this. What they don't realize is their daughter will be the most hated kid in elementary school.

I would avoid them until age 8/9.

Of course we're going to blame the ILs! It's impossible that OPs brother has any say in how his kids are raised - just blame everything on his mean wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could see a serious reason for conflict if it was Jesus vs. Atheist where religious beliefs might be at odds.

But SANTA? The obese imaginary child molestor-type guy who is a symbol of the rampant overcommercialization of Christmas?

You care about perpetuating the false notion of SANTA?

Un.fackin.beliveable.

LOL. This.

This is such a non-issue. I can't believe it's been going on this long.

[Anonymous]

We just go with the "everyone celebrates in their own way" and " you have to believe to receive thing" and my miramar ages 8,6 and 3 know to change the topic if someone sounds unsanta-ish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids just assumed the kids who didn't believe in Santa were the bad kids on the naughty list. Fine with me.

I'm glad to know that you are teaching your children tolerance, as Jesus would have done.

Seriously-- sub in "Jesus" for "Santa," and what does that look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids just assumed the kids who didn't believe in Santa were the bad kids on the naughty list. Fine with me.

I'm glad to know that you are teaching your children tolerance, as Jesus would have done.

Seriously-- sub in "Jesus" for "Santa," and what does that look like?

My kids know that Santa isn't Jesus.

[Anonymous]

I grew up without Santa, in Europe. Santa is mostly American invention and totally commercial thing. I did Santa for my kids here in US, and still do, but expense and work around it is insane and ruins Christmas for people who financially can't afford it. Santa is not the problem, culture of 20 presents for Christmas is. I got a chocolate and fruit for Christmas. We had lovely feast and customs surrounding it, such as keeping the fire going at the hearth and blessing the house and the family, walking around the table with head of the family saying the prayer for a good future year. I am orthodox. This is what I miss about Christmas, I couldn't care less as a kid about presents, it was about tradition. So, OP maybe you brother is right? I wish I never started this trying to fit in, so my kids feel the same as other kids here. I am happy when my kids are happy when Santa brings them presents, but the cost is insane and it has nothing to do with Christmas. We are all tools for the retail business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids just assumed the kids who didn't believe in Santa were the bad kids on the naughty list. Fine with me.

I'm glad to know that you are teaching your children tolerance, as Jesus would have done.

Seriously-- sub in "Jesus" for "Santa," and what does that look like?

My kids know that Santa isn't Jesus.

As a pp who grew up celebrating Jesus and not Santa for Christmas, may I ask how can you equate celebrating Santa? Isn't Christmas celebration of the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ with ancient pagan celebrations? Santa is a modified version of spirits traveling the sky in midwinter, as far as I know. Winter solstice was celebrated long before Christianity emerged. So, in my mind Jesus is not to be confused for Santa, as above pp said, but rather "Santa" was celebrated long before church finally gave in and incorporated Jesus into the old festival of end of the harvest and pagan celebration of trees/nature and spirits. No matter how celebration came to be today, it is a great holiday and Santa or no Santa for one year shouldn't make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids just assumed the kids who didn't believe in Santa were the bad kids on the naughty list. Fine with me.

I'm glad to know that you are teaching your children tolerance, as Jesus would have done.

Seriously-- sub in "Jesus" for "Santa," and what does that look like?

My kids know that Santa isn't Jesus.

The point is that you are teaching your kids intolerance. Would you like if Jewish parents told their kids that the kids who believed in Santa were stupid and simple because they believed a fairy tale about a fat red suites man that flies around the world? (For the record, if it needs to be said, we absolutely do not say this.)