Anyone regret becoming a stay at home mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fundamentally do not think I am capable of "outsourcing" childcare. Even though mentally and logically I understand that working outside the home is probably a good idea, there is some deeper instinct that doesn't allow me to just drop my kids At daycare 40+ hours a week. I couldn't do it. My job opportunities now aren't great, but they weren't that great five years ago, and they certainly aren't dire either. I'll get a job when it makes sense for our family. In the meantime, I'm here for my kids and my husband and the community and our extended families. No job is more important than my kids. Period.

Oh yeah, right, because WOH moms think that their jobs are so much more important than their kids. They are also never "there" for their family (whatever the hell that means)! Go jump in a lake, troll.

OP was asking for SAHMs to share their experiences. Sounds like you clicked on the wrong thread. Go find the cranky WOHMs thread and bitch there.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I'm a WOHM.

I work not to accumulate the most money possible, but to contribute to financial security for my family. If you do not need to work for your family's financial security, do not like your job, and your spouse is on board with you staying home...I don't see a problem with it. Who am I to judge? If your family's financial security and/or career aspirations involve you returning to the workforce, then think of a plan before you leave the workforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Journalists and scientists don't look for breadwinner husbands. Hahaha- I absolutely love all of these ridiculous statements these WOH women are making.

I met my husband at 18- he was from a family with a ton less money than mine. We married at 30 and he is a very high earner (not law or medicine, when we married he only had his undergrad, now had MBA).

All of the people I know married because they were in love. This idea that women are preying upon breadwinner men is just funny.

+1. I'm actually laughing right now. All the SAHMs I know were working at the time they were married and it was a love match each time. Not one was going for her MRS. This idea of a college-educated woman on the prowl for a "breadwinner husband" is so 50's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalists and scientists don't look for breadwinner husbands. Hahaha- I absolutely love all of these ridiculous statements these WOH women are making.

I met my husband at 18- he was from a family with a ton less money than mine. We married at 30 and he is a very high earner (not law or medicine, when we married he only had his undergrad, now had MBA).

All of the people I know married because they were in love. This idea that women are preying upon breadwinner men is just funny.

+1. I'm actually laughing right now. All the SAHMs I know were working at the time they were married and it was a love match each time. Not one was going for her MRS. This idea of a college-educated woman on the prowl for a "breadwinner husband" is so 50's.

Claim what you will but their career choice speaks to the truth of their plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fundamentally do not think I am capable of "outsourcing" childcare. Even though mentally and logically I understand that working outside the home is probably a good idea, there is some deeper instinct that doesn't allow me to just drop my kids At daycare 40+ hours a week. I couldn't do it. My job opportunities now aren't great, but they weren't that great five years ago, and they certainly aren't dire either. I'll get a job when it makes sense for our family. In the meantime, I'm here for my kids and my husband and the community and our extended families. No job is more important than my kids. Period.

Oh yeah, right, because WOH moms think that their jobs are so much more important than their kids. They are also never "there" for their family (whatever the hell that means)! Go jump in a lake, troll.

NP here. She is giving her point of view for herself--that doesn't make her a troll. Stop projecting.

The first PP is projecting that the working moms feel their job is more important than their kids. That's the trolling part. Obviously most working moms do so because they feel it is better for their family, not because they value career over kids.

No, she is answering the question for her own situation. She said she'll get a job when it makes sense for her family.

No one asked if anyone thought their job was more important than their kids, PP is the one implicating that working moms are choosing that being a judging troll. You can pretend that wasn't what she was saying but read it again.

I'm the first poster here. I don't understand how it's not choosing work over your kids. It seems pretty clear that most women who work choose to work. Or they build a lifestyle that requires that they work, which is also a choice. I chose to quit and stay home with my kids. My husband and I chose a lifestyle (no private school, less prestigious neighborhood) to support that choice. I think having a parent at home or as the main caregiver is way more important than money.

Less prestigious neighborhood? Private school? The vast majority of working moms work for financial security of their family and affording good public schools (I guess that is prestige)

Get off your high horse already. Just say you don't regret staying home, but don't pretend to understand the choices working moms make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalists and scientists don't look for breadwinner husbands. Hahaha- I absolutely love all of these ridiculous statements these WOH women are making.

I met my husband at 18- he was from a family with a ton less money than mine. We married at 30 and he is a very high earner (not law or medicine, when we married he only had his undergrad, now had MBA).

All of the people I know married because they were in love. This idea that women are preying upon breadwinner men is just funny.

+1. I'm actually laughing right now. All the SAHMs I know were working at the time they were married and it was a love match each time. Not one was going for her MRS. This idea of a college-educated woman on the prowl for a "breadwinner husband" is so 50's.

Claim what you will but their career choice speaks to the truth of their plans.

Np. It's usually something people fall into by accident. Very few SAHMs says they always knew they wanted to do it. Usually they have their first kid, go back to work for a while, and then quit after the second comes along and they realize H makes enough to support them in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Journalists and scientists don't look for breadwinner husbands. Hahaha- I absolutely love all of these ridiculous statements these WOH women are making.

I met my husband at 18- he was from a family with a ton less money than mine. We married at 30 and he is a very high earner (not law or medicine, when we married he only had his undergrad, now had MBA).

All of the people I know married because they were in love. This idea that women are preying upon breadwinner men is just funny.

Please don't lump some businessman pursuing an MBA with scientists, writers, or other true careers.

When you met your husband you knew he was interested in making money not doing what he loved.

Curious why did it take you 12 years to get married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I will strongly urge my DD and any future DIL to go back to work."

As a WOH, I think you should leave your daughter and future DIL alone to make their own decisions with their spouses.

I cringed when I read this, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalists and scientists don't look for breadwinner husbands. Hahaha- I absolutely love all of these ridiculous statements these WOH women are making.

I met my husband at 18- he was from a family with a ton less money than mine. We married at 30 and he is a very high earner (not law or medicine, when we married he only had his undergrad, now had MBA).

All of the people I know married because they were in love. This idea that women are preying upon breadwinner men is just funny.

+1. I'm actually laughing right now. All the SAHMs I know were working at the time they were married and it was a love match each time. Not one was going for her MRS. This idea of a college-educated woman on the prowl for a "breadwinner husband" is so 50's.

Claim what you will but their career choice speaks to the truth of their plans.

You are a riot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalists and scientists don't look for breadwinner husbands. Hahaha- I absolutely love all of these ridiculous statements these WOH women are making.

I met my husband at 18- he was from a family with a ton less money than mine. We married at 30 and he is a very high earner (not law or medicine, when we married he only had his undergrad, now had MBA).

All of the people I know married because they were in love. This idea that women are preying upon breadwinner men is just funny.

+1. I'm actually laughing right now. All the SAHMs I know were working at the time they were married and it was a love match each time. Not one was going for her MRS. This idea of a college-educated woman on the prowl for a "breadwinner husband" is so 50's.

+1

I was the only one working when we got married. He moved across the country for my job, which is D.C. based. I supported him while he studied for exams. His only prior work was in retail. He was and is the best human being I've ever met.

[Anonymous]

Why do threads re SAHM always go off the rail? I was looking forward to reading the answers.

OP, I've been home about 5 years. I don't regret it but I think it's time for me to go back and join the rest of the society (that's how staying at home feels to me, like I left the big city and went somewhere remote, perhaps an idyllic farm house).

Are you debating whether to stay home? I went back to work for a bit after my first was born and quit because I was really unhappy being back at work (which was a surprise for me). Fortunately we didn't have to change our lifestyle even after I quit. I ended up staying home longer than I thought I would too - I find day to day life of SAHM enjoyable, but do worry about completely losing my earning potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalists and scientists don't look for breadwinner husbands. Hahaha- I absolutely love all of these ridiculous statements these WOH women are making.

I met my husband at 18- he was from a family with a ton less money than mine. We married at 30 and he is a very high earner (not law or medicine, when we married he only had his undergrad, now had MBA).

All of the people I know married because they were in love. This idea that women are preying upon breadwinner men is just funny.

Please don't lump some businessman pursuing an MBA with scientists, writers, or other true careers.

When you met your husband you knew he was interested in making money not doing what he loved.

Curious why did it take you 12 years to get married?

Good point. Only writers and scientists are "true careers".

You WOH are a barrel of laughs today! How do you know what someone loved to do or not? Really grasping at straws today, cubicle ladies.

[Anonymous]

Call me crazy, but can we take a break from this tiresome, played-out argument and just celebrate the fact that we can all vote today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalists and scientists don't look for breadwinner husbands. Hahaha- I absolutely love all of these ridiculous statements these WOH women are making.

I met my husband at 18- he was from a family with a ton less money than mine. We married at 30 and he is a very high earner (not law or medicine, when we married he only had his undergrad, now had MBA).

All of the people I know married because they were in love. This idea that women are preying upon breadwinner men is just funny.

Please don't lump some businessman pursuing an MBA with scientists, writers, or other true careers.

When you met your husband you knew he was interested in making money not doing what he loved.

Curious why did it take you 12 years to get married?

Good point. Only writers and scientists are "true careers".

You WOH are a barrel of laughs today! How do you know what someone loved to do or not? Really grasping at straws today, cubicle ladies.

So what was your career prior to staying home? I'm a scientist so obvious I'm biased, and I guess I love research and discovery more than my kids, both are my offspring.

[Anonymous]

Maybe we should just make it easier for women to have choices? I have a newborn and would like to return to work but the daycare options are crummy and sad. I toured one today and I wanted to cry. No one holds the newborns anymore to feed them. They just lay on Boppys and are fed 2 at a time.

We can afford for me to stay home for a year or so, but not forever and I don't want to have to struggle to get another job. DH and I make a similar income sadly.