Anyone regret becoming a stay at home mom?

[Anonymous]

anyone regret leaving their job to stay at home?
did you return to work when your children went to school?

[Anonymous]

I don't. My kids (3) are all in elementary school and I am still home, no plans to return to work. For our family, with unique financial circumstances, and with a husband who travels a lot, this was absolutely the right choice for us.

[Anonymous]

My kids are all in school now and I'm ready for something more fulfilling. Not sure if that will be a job though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't. My kids (3) are all in elementary school and I am still home, no plans to return to work. For our family, with unique financial circumstances, and with a husband who travels a lot, this was absolutely the right choice for us.

+ 1

I volunteer a lot to pass the time during the school day and honestly that's enough for me. I'm happy to do it but it always reminds me that I don't really want the hassle and responsibilities of a paying position (and yes, I know I'm very lucky to not need the money, you don't need to derail the thread by getting in to that).

[Anonymous]

yes and no.
I was home for 5.5 years.

I loved the first few years at home.
However, I lost seniority in my field and I also lost 5 years of retirement contributions by staying home.
If I could do it again I would have returned to work after 2 or 3 years. I began to really struggle during my last year at home---I was bored and restless and really missed the stimulation of work. However, it took me about a year to figure out what I wanted to do, apply and get hired.

We live off my husband's income as a physician so we don't need my income and I don't need my retirement funds. But it's pretty powerful and awesome to watch the money grow and know that I earned it.

[Anonymous]

Sort of. I quit after my first child was born and was a little bored/lonely at home. In retrospect I probably should have worked then and taken time out of the workforce after #2. My time home with both was more enjoyable and made more financial sense (vs two in childcare), and I wouldn't trade those years for anything, but I probably could have worked with #1 in infancy and socked more away for retirement.

I've been back at work since the youngest was about 2.

[Anonymous]

yes! my kids are now 10 and 12 and I cannot get a job b/c no one wants to hire someone who has been out of the workforce for so long. There is a lot of ageism and sexism in the workforce. I feel like women are between a rock and hard place -- you can either live a life of stress with little kids and a full time job, or you can live a calmer life as a SAHM but you pay the price later.

The golden solution is if you can get a part-time gig. You will still feel like you are getting screwed b/c you won't be making much and you'll be paying a lot for child care.... BUT, in the long run, you will make more and your Soc. Sec. and retirement income will be better for it.

I have a good life and I don't desire to be super high power or income.... but, being locked out of the professional job market is not good. I will strongly urge my DD and any future DIL to go back to work. I will do whatever I can to help them. Keep your options open anyway you can. Part-time if you can. Otherwise, I would really encourage you to dig deep and get through the younger years while keeping your job. It'll get better.

[Anonymous]

Just returned to work after maternity leave and am wondering the same question.

We don't need the money THAT bad, but I don't believe I could get another job if I quit. It's so hard to find a new job while unemployed. I wish I had the option of taking a longer unpaid maternity leave or a sabbatical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes! my kids are now 10 and 12 and I cannot get a job b/c no one wants to hire someone who has been out of the workforce for so long. There is a lot of ageism and sexism in the workforce. I feel like women are between a rock and hard place -- you can either live a life of stress with little kids and a full time job, or you can live a calmer life as a SAHM but you pay the price later.

The golden solution is if you can get a part-time gig. You will still feel like you are getting screwed b/c you won't be making much and you'll be paying a lot for child care.... BUT, in the long run, you will make more and your Soc. Sec. and retirement income will be better for it.

I have a good life and I don't desire to be super high power or income.... but, being locked out of the professional job market is not good. I will strongly urge my DD and any future DIL to go back to work. I will do whatever I can to help them. Keep your options open anyway you can. Part-time if you can. Otherwise, I would really encourage you to dig deep and get through the younger years while keeping your job. It'll get better.

This!!!!

[Anonymous]

I SAH on & off with my two. Now I'm in a PT job in my field making OK money. But it's more to keep myself engaged, and a foot in the company so if I ever needed to go FT, I could. I am also paying into SS and a SEP IRA with my meager earnings.

I definitely wanted to stay home when they were small. But that season is over and I am a bit jealous of the Moms who are senior VPs or Partners in their law firms or whatever.

Having seen a cohort of kids grow from K to high school, I'm not sure it's worth a Mom over a nanny to care for small children. In fact, I think the kids who did Aftercare are a bit more self-sufficient than the kids of SAH moms.

[Anonymous]

I do. I could have outsourced the kids and had my own life.

[Anonymous]

"I will strongly urge my DD and any future DIL to go back to work."

As a WOH, I think you should leave your daughter and future DIL alone to make their own decisions with their spouses.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't regret it. I stayed home for more than 10 years. I started a new job and now that I'm not at home much I regret that I didn't do more with the house and with the time I had to myself.

[Anonymous]

I've been home since before my daughter (now two) was born. My husband and I had just relocated and I quickly became pregnant and it didn't make sense to me to start a job when I was planning to stay home anyway.

Honestly? I don't love staying home. I like the relative freedom of being able to meet friends for coffee, being able to put more time into cooking, and of course spending time with our toddler, but there are limits to this. Mostly I feel isolated and bored. I'm just not good at being a SAHM - I keep a good schedule but am not big on playing with or reading to or teaching our daughter (isn't that terrible?). I just try to keep us out and about as much as possible.

I'm currently pregnant with our second and am interviewing for a part-time job in my field. I am thrilled! I think working will be better for me as a person and better for my family overall. I think it will make me value the time I spend with my children more, too.

[Anonymous]

No regrets about staying home with DD the past 2.5 years. But I sincerely wish I had been smarter and continued to study and do freelance projects during time at home so I wouldn't be so behind professionally now. Still, no regrets that I left work. I am 29, smart and a good worker. I know that I can work my way up as I have in the past, hard as it may be. But if I'd returned to work much sooner, I wouldn't be able to rewind the clock and get time with little DD back.

I do wish that I had continued studying and doing freelance projects as soon as I was able, instead of focusing on DD for two years and feeling behind professionally now. Looking for work is definitely hard now, much harder than if I'd been working and learning new skills the past two years. I quit my job at a time of big changes at my company. The old guard was leaving and many new opportunities would have opened up for me. That ship has sailed, and I know that I have fallen behind. This is hard, especially in a competitive city like DC. Still, no regrets because I know that with hard work, I can catch up.