Anyone regret becoming a stay at home mom?

[Anonymous]

compartments s/b counterparts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fundamentally do not think I am capable of "outsourcing" childcare. Even though mentally and logically I understand that working outside the home is probably a good idea, there is some deeper instinct that doesn't allow me to just drop my kids At daycare 40+ hours a week. I couldn't do it. My job opportunities now aren't great, but they weren't that great five years ago, and they certainly aren't dire either. I'll get a job when it makes sense for our family. In the meantime, I'm here for my kids and my husband and the community and our extended families. No job is more important than my kids. Period.

Oh yeah, right, because WOH moms think that their jobs are so much more important than their kids. They are also never "there" for their family (whatever the hell that means)! Go jump in a lake, troll.

NP here. She is giving her point of view for herself--that doesn't make her a troll. Stop projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fundamentally do not think I am capable of "outsourcing" childcare. Even though mentally and logically I understand that working outside the home is probably a good idea, there is some deeper instinct that doesn't allow me to just drop my kids At daycare 40+ hours a week. I couldn't do it. My job opportunities now aren't great, but they weren't that great five years ago, and they certainly aren't dire either. I'll get a job when it makes sense for our family. In the meantime, I'm here for my kids and my husband and the community and our extended families. No job is more important than my kids. Period.

Oh yeah, right, because WOH moms think that their jobs are so much more important than their kids. They are also never "there" for their family (whatever the hell that means)! Go jump in a lake, troll.

NP here. She is giving her point of view for herself--that doesn't make her a troll. Stop projecting.

The first PP is projecting that the working moms feel their job is more important than their kids. That's the trolling part. Obviously most working moms do so because they feel it is better for their family, not because they value career over kids.

[Anonymous]

NP- no, she's talking about her personal feelings

[Anonymous]

As long as DH keeps paying the bills, who could possiblly regret retiring at 28! And it's even better than normal retirement because it gets better over time as the kids get more independent and art in school.

Now talk to SAHM who's DH left them or ended up with illness or career setback, They might sing a different song.

But honestly, most SAHM never had that great a career anyway, even the lawyers weren't on track to be partners and would have ended up as some GS lawyer or in-house lackey for a career focused GC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fundamentally do not think I am capable of "outsourcing" childcare. Even though mentally and logically I understand that working outside the home is probably a good idea, there is some deeper instinct that doesn't allow me to just drop my kids At daycare 40+ hours a week. I couldn't do it. My job opportunities now aren't great, but they weren't that great five years ago, and they certainly aren't dire either. I'll get a job when it makes sense for our family. In the meantime, I'm here for my kids and my husband and the community and our extended families. No job is more important than my kids. Period.

Oh yeah, right, because WOH moms think that their jobs are so much more important than their kids. They are also never "there" for their family (whatever the hell that means)! Go jump in a lake, troll.

NP here. She is giving her point of view for herself--that doesn't make her a troll. Stop projecting.

The first PP is projecting that the working moms feel their job is more important than their kids. That's the trolling part. Obviously most working moms do so because they feel it is better for their family, not because they value career over kids.

No, she is answering the question for her own situation. She said she'll get a job when it makes sense for her family.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't regret it at all. Our family circumstances made it necessary for a parent to be at home and it made logical sense for my DH to work, given the differential in our earning abilities. We've been married over 25 years and are financially secure even though we had no family assistance at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as DH keeps paying the bills, who could possiblly regret retiring at 28! And it's even better than normal retirement because it gets better over time as the kids get more independent and art in school.

Now talk to SAHM who's DH left them or ended up with illness or career setback, They might sing a different song.

But honestly, most SAHM never had that great a career anyway, even the lawyers weren't on track to be partners and would have ended up as some GS lawyer or in-house lackey for a career focused GC.

Why are you on this thread? Honestly, why? I was a very high earner. I also have personal wealth that protects me 100%.

-retired at 31

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I will strongly urge my DD and any future DIL to go back to work."

As a WOH, I think you should leave your daughter and future DIL alone to make their own decisions with their spouses.

of course they will make their own decisions, but they don't have the wisdom of experience. When I was working and told people I was going to stay at home, without exception the women were all like "don't do it" and the men were all "that's great."

I didn't really understand at the time why the women were against it and the men seemed to think it was fine. The reason the women were against it was b/c they knew how hard it would be to come back from being unemployed. The men just wanted to be supportive. They had no idea. I now have knowledge and experience and I will absolutely make sure my DD and future DIL understand the implications of getting out of the workforce. As I mentioned, I will do whatever I can to help them. I didn't have anyone to (a) mentor me, or (b) help me at home (i.e. like grandparents who could come at a moments notice). I didn't grow up in a family or even a town where moms worked unless they absolutely had to in a low-wage job. I didn't have the role models or support and it lead me to the position I'm in now where I have very few options. I do not want my DD or DIL to be in a position of no-options b/c they had lots of confidence they could get another job (which is easy when you HAVE a job) and then find out that the working world is quite hostile to women who opt out (more so in certain industries than others -- teaching and nursing dont' seem to have a problem with SAHMs coming back... other industries do). It is my responsibility to share what I've learned with my DD and future DIL (should there be a DIL).

If they ASK your opinion, sure. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut or you will jeopardize your relationship with your DD/DIL.

[Anonymous]

Sort of. Only SAH briefly, then have worked PT. But wish I had made a point of going back FT and focusing on career when my first was born. Not necessarily for forever, but for long enough to creat a more equitable balance in my relationship. I like to think we would be in a better place if that had happened, even if I subsequently scaled back and took on more at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as DH keeps paying the bills, who could possiblly regret retiring at 28! And it's even better than normal retirement because it gets better over time as the kids get more independent and art in school.

Now talk to SAHM who's DH left them or ended up with illness or career setback, They might sing a different song.

But honestly, most SAHM never had that great a career anyway, even the lawyers weren't on track to be partners and would have ended up as some GS lawyer or in-house lackey for a career focused GC.

Why are you on this thread? Honestly, why? I was a very high earner. I also have personal wealth that protects me 100%.

-retired at 31

More power to you. It's great you went from dad paying the bills and setting you up as a high earner so you took the burden off of DH. I said early retirement is a sweet gig. My DH is trying to talk me into staying home, but our families are dirt poor so wr have no safety net beyond DH career.

But the vast majority of SAHM never had that career path, accumulating retirement level wealth by 31 is quite rare; all of the SAHM I knew in Bethesda were teachers, HR admins, marketing hacks. But they hit the gym and keep hubby happy so excel at their current 'job'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fundamentally do not think I am capable of "outsourcing" childcare. Even though mentally and logically I understand that working outside the home is probably a good idea, there is some deeper instinct that doesn't allow me to just drop my kids At daycare 40+ hours a week. I couldn't do it. My job opportunities now aren't great, but they weren't that great five years ago, and they certainly aren't dire either. I'll get a job when it makes sense for our family. In the meantime, I'm here for my kids and my husband and the community and our extended families. No job is more important than my kids. Period.

Oh yeah, right, because WOH moms think that their jobs are so much more important than their kids. They are also never "there" for their family (whatever the hell that means)! Go jump in a lake, troll.

NP here. She is giving her point of view for herself--that doesn't make her a troll. Stop projecting.

The first PP is projecting that the working moms feel their job is more important than their kids. That's the trolling part. Obviously most working moms do so because they feel it is better for their family, not because they value career over kids.

No, she is answering the question for her own situation. She said she'll get a job when it makes sense for her family.

No one asked if anyone thought their job was more important than their kids, PP is the one implicating that working moms are choosing that being a judging troll. You can pretend that wasn't what she was saying but read it again.

[Anonymous]

Again with the assumptions. I actually dropped out of college to make my own way.

But anyway- you even being on this thread shows you are either jealous or someone who had no choices. Happy working women are content with their lives and don't come on threads that have NOTHING to do with them and insult others. It's pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't regret it at all. Our family circumstances made it necessary for a parent to be at home and it made logical sense for my DH to work, given the differential in our earning abilities. We've been married over 25 years and are financially secure even though we had no family assistance at all.

This. We have been married 30 years. Our kids are 27, 25, 23, 20, and 16. I have worked part-time on and off through the years during school hours. But I've been primarily a SAHM for 27 years. No plans to ever return to paid work. We are both 50. My DH retires in six years.

Zero regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again with the assumptions. I actually dropped out of college to make my own way.

But anyway- you even being on this thread shows you are either jealous or someone who had no choices. Happy working women are content with their lives and don't come on threads that have NOTHING to do with them and insult others. It's pathetic.

Totally jealous, I want to be able to retire now! And DH wants me to SAH that's why I'm on this thread but very few said their careers rebounded, which would be tough in our situation.

So you cane from a poor background, dropped out of college, and amassed millions of dollars to retire at 31! I really want to hear your story, because I came from a poor background and wish I had you outcome. Please share.