How Was Your Cheating Or Your Signficant Others Cheating Discovered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So amazing that people think they won't get caught. The human capacity for self-delusion is bottomless.

I caught my now ex DH so many different ways. He didn't even know what I knew. Then, when confronted by me, he just tangled himself in a web of even deeper lies.

He begged me for several years to take him back. So sad for our kids.

So odd that he thought he could engage in such a gigantic lie and get away with it.

It's because so many people do get away with it and don't get caught.

[Anonymous]

Text messages. Email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The location services on cell is very useful to see where they have been.

Do you regularly track your SO?

Tracking won't always work. I never lied about my whereabouts. If I went somewhere, I told my DH, included something plausible about why I was there (e.g. picking up lunch and some new towels at whatever store ...)
Plus, AP & I had sex at my house. So. I was at home.

Did you have sex with AP in the marital bed?

Yes, we did.

I have had sex in my AP's bed several times. In almost every room of her house. Our relationship and attraction to each other seems very nature, but I do at times have performance issues that I don't experience anywhere else when we are in her bed. The best place for us is a hotel room, but her house is very convenient for us both...

[Anonymous]

I don't know why I'm shocked that you guys fuck in your Ap's home. I am way too paranoid to go to my Ap's house. Plus I don't want to see family pictures etc. I thought everyone got hotels. Learn something new everyday.

[Anonymous]

This thread made me laugh. Especially the "obviously not my baby" dude. Tough shit, buddy!

[Anonymous]

Back in college I caught my GF with what I thought was pretty undeniable evidence of cheating. Specifically I stopped by her off campus house unannounced mid-day one day and walked in to to find her naked on the couch with her legs wrapped around some other naked dude who was oddly laying on top of her. Apparently she wasn't expecting me.

We broke up.

[Anonymous]

Is there a companion thread about WHY you cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People can call through whatsapp, Skype and any other VoIP software. Those calls would not show up on a call log or bill.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those who cheated, why gone through all this hard work maintaining 2 different lives? Isn't that exhausting?

Cause I don't want to give my H 2 million dollars, and don't want to deal with the hassle of shared custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The location services on cell is very useful to see where they have been.

Do you regularly track your SO?

Tracking won't always work. I never lied about my whereabouts. If I went somewhere, I told my DH, included something plausible about why I was there (e.g. picking up lunch and some new towels at whatever store ...)
Plus, AP & I had sex at my house. So. I was at home.

Did you have sex with AP in the marital bed?

Different female poster, but yes, I have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The location services on cell is very useful to see where they have been.

Do you regularly track your SO?

Tracking won't always work. I never lied about my whereabouts. If I went somewhere, I told my DH, included something plausible about why I was there (e.g. picking up lunch and some new towels at whatever store ...)
Plus, AP & I had sex at my house. So. I was at home.

Did you have sex with AP in the marital bed? :evil:

Yes, we did.

I should add, it didn't start off in our bed, but after a while it just seemed like the logical move. AP was much more nervous about doing it in our bed than I was, but really, the bed is one of the best places to have sex. Comfortable, big, allows for more positions.

I realize some (many? most?) people would think it was 10x worse bringing an AP to the marital bed, but it didn't seem like a big deal at the time. I'd probably NEVER do it in his bed, I've never even been to his house. I can't even imagine doing it in somebody else's bed. But me, fucking my AP in MY bed? I loved it. But I think that harkens back to my anger issues with my DH, that I didn't care about his feelings.

Agree. Anger not just that my H is happy for me to be the workhorse in our marriage, but that he doesn't satisfy me in bed either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The location services on cell is very useful to see where they have been.

Do you regularly track your SO?

Tracking won't always work. I never lied about my whereabouts. If I went somewhere, I told my DH, included something plausible about why I was there (e.g. picking up lunch and some new towels at whatever store ...)
Plus, AP & I had sex at my house. So. I was at home.

Did you have sex with AP in the marital bed? :evil:

Yes, we did.

I should add, it didn't start off in our bed, but after a while it just seemed like the logical move. AP was much more nervous about doing it in our bed than I was, but really, the bed is one of the best places to have sex. Comfortable, big, allows for more positions.

I realize some (many? most?) people would think it was 10x worse bringing an AP to the marital bed, but it didn't seem like a big deal at the time. I'd probably NEVER do it in his bed, I've never even been to his house. I can't even imagine doing it in somebody else's bed. But me, fucking my AP in MY bed? I loved it. But I think that harkens back to my anger issues with my DH, that I didn't care about his feelings.

Agree. Anger not just that my H is happy for me to be the workhorse in our marriage, but that he doesn't satisfy me in bed either.

Very creepy, almost psychopathic, the way that you deal with your anger. If you're angry about something, why not just discuss it? If it's not resolved or resolvable, then why not divorce and move on? But, AP sex in the marital bed represents a kind of creepy, secretive revenge that is the uncontrolled output of anger that a person is too immature to deal with in a more responsible way. I find the idea kind of scary. If an AP could do that to his/her spouse, who knows what he/she will do when he/she is unhappy with me?

[Anonymous]

The wages of sin is death...spiritual death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The location services on cell is very useful to see where they have been.

Do you regularly track your SO?

Tracking won't always work. I never lied about my whereabouts. If I went somewhere, I told my DH, included something plausible about why I was there (e.g. picking up lunch and some new towels at whatever store ...)
Plus, AP & I had sex at my house. So. I was at home.

Did you have sex with AP in the marital bed? :evil:

Yes, we did.

I should add, it didn't start off in our bed, but after a while it just seemed like the logical move. AP was much more nervous about doing it in our bed than I was, but really, the bed is one of the best places to have sex. Comfortable, big, allows for more positions.

I realize some (many? most?) people would think it was 10x worse bringing an AP to the marital bed, but it didn't seem like a big deal at the time. I'd probably NEVER do it in his bed, I've never even been to his house. I can't even imagine doing it in somebody else's bed. But me, fucking my AP in MY bed? I loved it. But I think that harkens back to my anger issues with my DH, that I didn't care about his feelings.

Agree. Anger not just that my H is happy for me to be the workhorse in our marriage, but that he doesn't satisfy me in bed either.

Very creepy, almost psychopathic, the way that you deal with your anger. If you're angry about something, why not just discuss it? If it's not resolved or resolvable, then why not divorce and move on? But, AP sex in the marital bed represents a kind of creepy, secretive revenge that is the uncontrolled output of anger that a person is too immature to deal with in a more responsible way. I find the idea kind of scary. If an AP could do that to his/her spouse, who knows what he/she will do when he/she is unhappy with me?

Hm. I was denying I was even angry. I really was. But, once I figured it out -- wow. I figured it out. I was so angry and so hurt and so so let down by him. It wasn't a secret revenge, because I didn't even know what was going on in my own head and body. But it ended up with me acting out -- conducting and affair in our own bed. Right?

I'm going to agree, I don't deal with my feelings well.

Have you ever had the experience when you recall something from long ago, and you suddenly realize that your feelings had been hurt, and you had been so intent upon keeping the peace or maintaining your dignity at the time that you pushed that hurt down and forgot about it? But then when you remembered ... Of course you were hurt, and it HURT. There have been two times in my life like this. The first time was when I was 6, something my mother had done that deeply hurt me, and only in college did I remember and really think about it. I didn't even realize until that moment when I remembered it how hurt I'd been. I had to work through it. The other time was 6 or 7 years ago, when I was pressured (by DH) to have an abortion. And I did willingly to save his sanity and our marriage. But I didn't actually want to. And it didn't work out quite so smoothly, obviously, as a way to save our family/marriage (although we are still married). And it was only during my affair that I realized how hurt I was about it, and how angry I was. I hadn't forgotten it, but I had pushed all those feelings way way down. I'm not absolving myself. My choice, in the end. But it still led to a lot of hurt and anger.

But, back to the subject matter at hand. Sex in my bed with AP was free. Convenient. And yes, AP had performance issues there the first couple of times, but he adjusted. The reason I wouldn't do it in his bed ... maybe becauseI wasn't mad at his wife.

[Anonymous]

My teen thought it was his phone and read a text from the OW.

He told me.

6 months later and my Styx H asks him to do something and he just says " f u"

H lives in the basement.

He went from 3 times a week plus a little side piece to nothing.

Ow was a psyco and her texts were bizarre, he is glad to be done with her. But his teen will likely never talk to him again.

Enjoy your flings girls and boys! To hell with the feelings and emotional stability of children.