I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why we are all so caught up in this thing called slut shaming. Let's talk about common sense for a minute.
During the sixties, many feminists thought that women should strive for equality wrt sex. That belief stems from rhe assumption that men and women all want the same thing, and unfortunately, I am not convinced that that is true. Even more, I'm not sure that women can realistically even get the same thing.
Men enjoy sex more than women. Men achieve orgasm much faster and more frequently than women. Women are more likely to have an orgasm with a partner if she feels secure and safe. Women are more likely to have an orgasm with a man if he loves her. So when two strangers are having sex, it is more likely that the man will achieve orgasm than the woman. The equation changes when we are looking at committed relationships. The woman's chances of orgasm go up! Bravo.
So when we look at cases where women are sleeping with many different men, she has a tremendous risk of disease, see CDC data posted earlier. If she takes that risk, it better be worth it. The problem is, I'm not sure it is worth it most of the time. Often, she is not having an orgasm, if you want to use that as a marker. She is getting attention that she might crave, maybe. She might get some sort of psychological entertainment. But it is unlikely that she is getting the same thing (equality) that the man is getting. He shares in the disease culture plate risk, but he gets to have this fantastic orgasm and his fertility is not impaired by STDs.
What the feminist forgot is that we are biologically different. Maybe what we should have been seeking is fairness.
The risks go far beyond the disease issue. Risks of violence and pregnancy are also included. I have seen one woman die from abortion related complications (right here in Montgomery county at a safe place), and two rendered infertile. I have yet to see any of my friends who had the babies get their fare share of child support. That is another chapter. Then there is the contraception issue. We pour potentially harmful chemicals into our bodies because we don't have the guts to tell a man to use a condom (I know they can fail but there are many other benefits). Then there are the tubal libations. This is a risky procedure, the doctor is going into you abdomen ladies. A vasectomy is a superficial procedure! If he refuses, it might mean that he is willing to ask you to take a bigger risk on your life, and might have plans for another family down the road (another thread).
Ladies, stop the madness, let's get real. Men are still getting what they want. Nothing has changed.

You just said it: no guts!

I disagree. I think women are conditioned to not pursue sex. Social and cultural conditioning. A woman who is educated to do so and feels confident to do so, will DEMAND a condom and nothing less.

It starts in the family, in the school in the social circles and it continues in the media. Women are conditioned to be subservient to men, do be dominated even to this day. Yes, they have made leaps in sexual liberation but there is so much more to make.

Let me tell you something, I found a guy who fits me sexually at the age 40. Yes, it is not one size fits all. To find a sexual partner, you need to have sex with a lot of men. Chemistry and sexual compatibility is something that you cannot earn, learn, or buy. You need to live and learn.

And stop giving me that bs about women not enjoying sex. The only reason they are not is because of lame plain vanilla partners and the stigma that sexual curiosity carries for women. Promiscuous is an ugly word. Yes, multiple partners may be sign of emotional instability or other psychological issues.

But they are plenty of confident sexually aware women, who are comfortable with their sexuality and know that true sexual blossoming does not start for women until they are 40.

[Anonymous]

11:21, either you are a man or you're nuts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

Don't project your moral standards onto others. Emotional health is one thing. Strong libido a completely different thing and so is an open mind and sexuality.
There are people who are more uninhibited than others. Plain simple

Don't project your assumptions onto my statement. I am not talking about moral standards, I am talking about emotional health. This means having good friendships, being able to cope with difficult circumstances without the assistance of drugs or alcohol, showing kindness and compassion to others without expecting something in return, etc.

The promiscuous people that I have known well do not have these attributes that suggest emotional health.

Enjoying sex and not requiring a serious long term relationship to have it has nothing to do with having friends, not using drugs and being kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

Don't project your moral standards onto others. Emotional health is one thing. Strong libido a completely different thing and so is an open mind and sexuality.
There are people who are more uninhibited than others. Plain simple

Don't project your assumptions onto my statement. I am not talking about moral standards, I am talking about emotional health. This means having good friendships, being able to cope with difficult circumstances without the assistance of drugs or alcohol, showing kindness and compassion to others without expecting something in return, etc.

The promiscuous people that I have known well do not have these attributes that suggest emotional health.

Enjoying sex and not requiring a serious long term relationship to have it has nothing to do with having friends, not using drugs and being kind.

I'm just saying, I've noticed that correlation. I don't know what the root cause is or may be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men enjoy sex more than women. Men achieve orgasm much faster and more frequently than women. Women are more likely to have an orgasm with a partner if she feels secure and safe. Women are more likely to have an orgasm with a man if he loves her. So when two strangers are having sex, it is more likely that the man will achieve orgasm than the woman. The equation changes when we are looking at committed relationships. The woman's chances of orgasm go up! Bravo.

BWAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAA

What a load of treacle bullshit.

[Anonymous]

BTW, men have every reason to encourage women to believe they are also liking it....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

I totally agree. The ones I know are either narcissistic or cynical or angry.

Based on the OP promiscuous is a little over 1 sexual partner a year, HPV., and not finding your husband by your mid-twenties. That would make for a boatload of cynical, angry, and narcissist people.

Well, then you prove OP's point. Just read DCUM and you will find your boatload of these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:21, either you are a man or you're nuts

I am a woman and I'd rather be nuts than be like you--whatever that may be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

Don't project your moral standards onto others. Emotional health is one thing. Strong libido a completely different thing and so is an open mind and sexuality.
There are people who are more uninhibited than others. Plain simple

Don't project your assumptions onto my statement. I am not talking about moral standards, I am talking about emotional health. This means having good friendships, being able to cope with difficult circumstances without the assistance of drugs or alcohol, showing kindness and compassion to others without expecting something in return, etc.

The promiscuous people that I have known well do not have these attributes that suggest emotional health.

Enjoying sex and not requiring a serious long term relationship to have it has nothing to do with having friends, not using drugs and being kind.

I'm just saying, I've noticed that correlation. I don't know what the root cause is or may be.

You have noticed no correlation. You are just projecting the moral standards of society. Projection--that's all.

Oh, and closed mind to boot, but you can work on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

Don't project your moral standards onto others. Emotional health is one thing. Strong libido a completely different thing and so is an open mind and sexuality.
There are people who are more uninhibited than others. Plain simple

Don't project your assumptions onto my statement. I am not talking about moral standards, I am talking about emotional health. This means having good friendships, being able to cope with difficult circumstances without the assistance of drugs or alcohol, showing kindness and compassion to others without expecting something in return, etc.

The promiscuous people that I have known well do not have these attributes that suggest emotional health.

Enjoying sex and not requiring a serious long term relationship to have it has nothing to do with having friends, not using drugs and being kind.

I'm just saying, I've noticed that correlation. I don't know what the root cause is or may be.

You have noticed no correlation. You are just projecting the moral standards of society. Projection--that's all.

Oh, and closed mind to boot, but you can work on that.

You have no idea how open or closed minded I am or what I've observed, especially based on 3-4 sentences. You are just trying to insult me. I am not impressed, and I wonder why you would attempt to make your point using insults, unless you don't have a very good argument. How do you know I am "projecting?" You are just attempting to make my observations seem illegitimate using random words.

What do you mean by "the moral standards of society?" Are you saying that kindness, stability, and friendships, are merely social constructs and having nothing to do with the emotional health of a person? In that case I would say that "emotional health" must mean nothing, as well, and is just a societal construct.

[Anonymous]

BTW, men have every reason to encourage women to believe they are also liking it....

Bwahhh hah ha ha ha hah!

Some epic trolling going on with this thread. in our modern age, sex is not something that we trade for a safe and secure relationship. Any woman who thinks that the only way to find love and marriage is through keeping her chastity will be gravely disappointed. A man who doesn't settle down because he can get "it" for free isn't going to be a good husband even if you don't give "it" away. The idea that sex is something take and women give is so patently offensive I can't believe that it's actually being debated here.

Feminism is about equal opportunity and equal choices. Women don't have to look to men for economic security any longer, so relationships are more based on friendship, trust and passion rather than male earning power.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe how many women still equate low number of sexual partners with morality and emotional health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

BTW, men have every reason to encourage women to believe they are also liking it....

Bwahhh hah ha ha ha hah!

Some epic trolling going on with this thread. in our modern age, sex is not something that we trade for a safe and secure relationship. Any woman who thinks that the only way to find love and marriage is through keeping her chastity will be gravely disappointed. A man who doesn't settle down because he can get "it" for free isn't going to be a good husband even if you don't give "it" away. The idea that sex is something take and women give is so patently offensive I can't believe that it's actually being debated here.

Feminism is about equal opportunity and equal choices. Women don't have to look to men for economic security any longer, so relationships are more based on friendship, trust and passion rather than male earning power.

I want a man who makes money. I don't want to be the main bread winner because I prefer to take care of my kids. No one said anything is as black and white as you describe. The point is, women pay a higher price. In some cases women are not smart enough or articulate enough, or confident enough to get what they want. Those women might want to consider the safer path, which would be abstinence or small numbers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how many women still equate low number of sexual partners with morality and emotional health.

No we are relating it to physical health, did you read?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

Don't project your moral standards onto others. Emotional health is one thing. Strong libido a completely different thing and so is an open mind and sexuality.
There are people who are more uninhibited than others. Plain simple

Don't project your assumptions onto my statement. I am not talking about moral standards, I am talking about emotional health. This means having good friendships, being able to cope with difficult circumstances without the assistance of drugs or alcohol, showing kindness and compassion to others without expecting something in return, etc.

The promiscuous people that I have known well do not have these attributes that suggest emotional health.

Enjoying sex and not requiring a serious long term relationship to have it has nothing to do with having friends, not using drugs and being kind.

I'm just saying, I've noticed that correlation. I don't know what the root cause is or may be.

You have noticed no correlation. You are just projecting the moral standards of society. Projection--that's all.

Oh, and closed mind to boot, but you can work on that.

You have no idea how open or closed minded I am or what I've observed, especially based on 3-4 sentences. You are just trying to insult me. I am not impressed, and I wonder why you would attempt to make your point using insults, unless you don't have a very good argument. How do you know I am "projecting?" You are just attempting to make my observations seem illegitimate using random words.

What do you mean by "the moral standards of society?" Are you saying that kindness, stability, and friendships, are merely social constructs and having nothing to do with the emotional health of a person? In that case I would say that "emotional health" must mean nothing, as well, and is just a societal construct.

I am sorry, I did not mean to insult you. To me it sounded like you are projecting. From lumping stability, friendships, and promiscuity and drawing conclusions based on your own observations that I would dare assume are conjectural in nature unless you have empirical data from the line of work you do as a social worker or shrink.

That's all. Unless you are a psychiatrist, you don't really know who is stable, who has good friends etc. You can observe, and what you see may not all be what it seems on the surface. Thus you use your own past and thoughts and analyze and project based on your values. It is part of what we all too often do. It's how you create your points of view/labels on many things and find our own correlations between things...