I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

[Anonymous]

Well I wish chocolate and Diet Coke would fall out of the sky. But both of us sadly just need to live in the world as it is. Personally, I know lots of women who have high standards and are in control of their lives. There will always be a wide array of personality types, and IMO the amount of sex doesn't matter. Do you really think women were better off when society expected them to remain virgins til marriage?

The OP's post seems rather immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I wish chocolate and Diet Coke would fall out of the sky. But both of us sadly just need to live in the world as it is. Personally, I know lots of women who have high standards and are in control of their lives. There will always be a wide array of personality types, and IMO the amount of sex doesn't matter. Do you really think women were better off when society expected them to remain virgins til marriage?

The OP's post seems rather immature.

+100

[Anonymous]

I agree with you, OP, 100%!

I haven’t read all the posts, but I can bet there are a lot of people who disagree and are telling you to MYOB.
It is sad that the morals in our society have sunk so low.
There was a time when sleeping around was not condoned. Now, it seems to be a badge of honor.
Pitiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

Don't project your moral standards onto others. Emotional health is one thing. Strong libido a completely different thing and so is an open mind and sexuality.
There are people who are more uninhibited than others. Plain simple

[Anonymous]

What about women who want sex? Should men be demanding more first? Sometimes, as the woman, I'm the one who is ready to go for it. Why is it assumed that women don't want sex as much as men do?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why we are all so caught up in this thing called slut shaming. Let's talk about common sense for a minute.
During the sixties, many feminists thought that women should strive for equality wrt sex. That belief stems from rhe assumption that men and women all want the same thing, and unfortunately, I am not convinced that that is true. Even more, I'm not sure that women can realistically even get the same thing.
Men enjoy sex more than women. Men achieve orgasm much faster and more frequently than women. Women are more likely to have an orgasm with a partner if she feels secure and safe. Women are more likely to have an orgasm with a man if he loves her. So when two strangers are having sex, it is more likely that the man will achieve orgasm than the woman. The equation changes when we are looking at committed relationships. The woman's chances of orgasm go up! Bravo.
So when we look at cases where women are sleeping with many different men, she has a tremendous risk of disease, see CDC data posted earlier. If she takes that risk, it better be worth it. The problem is, I'm not sure it is worth it most of the time. Often, she is not having an orgasm, if you want to use that as a marker. She is getting attention that she might crave, maybe. She might get some sort of psychological entertainment. But it is unlikely that she is getting the same thing (equality) that the man is getting. He shares in the disease culture plate risk, but he gets to have this fantastic orgasm and his fertility is not impaired by STDs.
What the feminist forgot is that we are biologically different. Maybe what we should have been seeking is fairness.
The risks go far beyond the disease issue. Risks of violence and pregnancy are also included. I have seen one woman die from abortion related complications (right here in Montgomery county at a safe place), and two rendered infertile. I have yet to see any of my friends who had the babies get their fare share of child support. That is another chapter. Then there is the contraception issue. We pour potentially harmful chemicals into our bodies because we don't have the guts to tell a man to use a condom (I know they can fail but there are many other benefits). Then there are the tubal libations. This is a risky procedure, the doctor is going into you abdomen ladies. A vasectomy is a superficial procedure! If he refuses, it might mean that he is willing to ask you to take a bigger risk on your life, and might have plans for another family down the road (another thread).
Ladies, stop the madness, let's get real. Men are still getting what they want. Nothing has changed.

[Anonymous]

Wishing that this particular woman in your story behaved differently is one thing, since you know she isn't getting what she wants, but why in the world do you wish people were less promiscuous overall? That is what sounds offensive.

Be offended all you want. Promiscuity cheapens sex, like it's a cup of coffee, instead of this great connection between two people.

+1. I know this is going to be offensive, but for men, sex is a bigger part of the relationship than for women. I've had men I know tell me, flat out, that they do not bother with long term relationships because they can get sex basically whenever they want anyway. I know that is such a cliche, but it does harm younger women, who have a biological clock, and most women do not just want to have sex for a couple months and move on to the next guy.

+2, sort of. Relationships will always be governed by a sort of sexual economics, supply and demand. If there are 100 girls, and 70 are willing to have no-strings-attached sex, versus 100 girls where 10 are so willing, you will have radically different relationship dynamics. Of course there will be more pressure on the 30 "straight-laced" women in the "libertine" society to have pre-marital/no-commitment sex (probably as a prerequisite to have any relationship whatsoever) then in the "prudish" society. There has been a crapton of research on this. So yes, your neighbors' promiscuity (in the aggregate) may have an effect on your life and I can see a legitimate interest in your neighbor's business!

That said, where I differ from PPs is that I think it is far from clear that eliminating the sigma around sex and permitting (even if not exactly celebrating) women's "promiscuity" is a bad thing. In other words, yeah there may be more pressure on the 30 in the "libertine" society, but overall the majority of women (and men) may be much better-off and more fulfilled.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for the typos. Tubal LIGATIONS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about women who want sex? Should men be demanding more first? Sometimes, as the woman, I'm the one who is ready to go for it. Why is it assumed that women don't want sex as much as men do?

They should demand that you are mature enough to handle the consequences. You could be the mother of their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She told me that she wanted marriage, but in her world, that is almost a dirty word. She believed that if she uttered words like that to the men she dated, they would have run away.

That's complete and total garbage. She has no one but feminism to blame for that attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Sometimes I feel like women just ask for trouble. Maybe smart but unable to make good decisions...

Sometimes? That's it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

I totally agree. The ones I know are either narcissistic or cynical or angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

I totally agree. The ones I know are either narcissistic or cynical or angry.

Based on the OP promiscuous is a little over 1 sexual partner a year, HPV., and not finding your husband by your mid-twenties. That would make for a boatload of cynical, angry, and narcissist people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

don't want to see my dd who is just 10 in the same mess

Why would she be in the same mess? Emotionally healthy, sexually active women do not turn out like this.

Stop making it about "sex". Then your daughter is more likely to be well adjusted.

+100
This! It's not about sex, it's not about promiscuity, it's about emotional health. And you will find emotionally healthy women on both ends of the promiscuity spectrum.

I have personally never met a promiscuous woman (or man) who is emotionally healthy.

Don't project your moral standards onto others. Emotional health is one thing. Strong libido a completely different thing and so is an open mind and sexuality.
There are people who are more uninhibited than others. Plain simple

Don't project your assumptions onto my statement. I am not talking about moral standards, I am talking about emotional health. This means having good friendships, being able to cope with difficult circumstances without the assistance of drugs or alcohol, showing kindness and compassion to others without expecting something in return, etc.

The promiscuous people that I have known well do not have these attributes that suggest emotional health.