Vacation drama with mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow what an overreaction.

Who do you mean? OP or her mom?

well, mother was rude and overreacted in her own way, but leaving vacation because of that? i don't get it. i always thought these scene in american movies where people storm out of the room felt fake but i guess you people really do act like that. everyone is so sensitive.

I missed the part where OP stormed out of the room.

You missed it because it didn't happen.

she stormed out of the vacation house, after consulting DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow what an overreaction.

Who do you mean? OP or her mom?

well, mother was rude and overreacted in her own way, but leaving vacation because of that? i don't get it. i always thought these scene in american movies where people storm out of the room felt fake but i guess you people really do act like that. everyone is so sensitive.

If her mother came to her and said, "Hey, I'm sorry. I was totally out of line with that comment calling you fat and selfish. I apologize," then yes, storming out might be a bit much. But the mother didn't. Instead she doubled down and called her a bitch. Why would anyone want to spend their vacation being insulted and belittled??? OP can have her vacation wherever she wants. So she's choosing to spend it elsewhere. Can't believe you don't get that PP.

but she called her a bitch after OP cut off her vacation with her parents and sister's family. so it was a not very eloquent comment on a different and entirely over the top behavior.

of course i get it that she can spend her vacation wherever she pleases. i also get it that her mother can call her fat if she pleases etc etc. the point is not what people have a right to do, but what kind of behavior is conducive to good family relationships. while mother's behavior was unhelpful in that regard, so was OP's reaction.

[Anonymous]

So op took out 3, and her bitch of a mother makes nasty comment about the waffles being for the kids and then takes 2 out of 3 of the waffles back, leaving OP with one waffle?!?!? Wow. What a mean bitch.

Yes, op, you did the right thing by leaving. My mom is a difficult person to get along with too, but she's not THAT bad. So sorry for you. I hope she didn't ruin your vacation. I avoid my mom as much as possible because we just don't get along. It's sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow what an overreaction.

Who do you mean? OP or her mom?

well, mother was rude and overreacted in her own way, but leaving vacation because of that? i don't get it. i always thought these scene in american movies where people storm out of the room felt fake but i guess you people really do act like that. everyone is so sensitive.

PP, who notes that 'everyone is so sensitive': I am inferring that you have never had a parent or a partner/spouse call you fat or selfish or make a hurtful judgmental statement from which no good could possibly come....I am also inferring that you have what we might call a 'normal' relationship with your parents and significant others -- insofar as normal means avoiding deliberately hurtful comments or actions. I am happy for you.

Those who have grown up with other circumstances and who've not had support from parents or others can perhaps more easily understand why someone would leave (whether 'storming' or 'walking') a toxic situation.

As someone who is currently 'vacationing' with my parents, who have called me every name under the sun and consistently criticized my weight (this in spite of the fact that I was hospitalized four times for eating disorders as a late teen -- many of the comments and prods to 'go back on a diet' were after I had finally put anorexia behind me), I have three words for OP: good. for. you. PP, it's not everyone being 'sensitive'; it's an individual starting to take steps towards self efficacy and self preservation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree the mother is rude but not eating for 12 hrs when nursing is not ok, and 3 waffles at once is too much for anyone but a training athlete.

Those tiny little waffles?

[Anonymous]

Don't leave.

Honestly, your mother was just being direct. She shouldn't have called you fat, but I can see myself grabbing something from one of my sisters and saying -- hey, those are for the kids!

I can be abrupt. So maybe this is your mother's personality. Which you should be used to by now. i sort of feel for your mother -- here you are at beach house and she has a ton of people to feed and she probably has not time to schlepp to the store again.

So LET IT GO. your mother is under stress too with all the relatives.

[Anonymous]

A lot of DCUMers are overly sensitive.

Your mom's behavior was abrupt and maybe rude but she is your mother and let it go. she is probably one of those type A direct personalities.

[Anonymous]

PP here..I now read all comments and see that the OP left the house.

I think OP's reaction (after consulting all the overly sensitive DCUMers) was way over the top and OP has ruined the vacation for everyone.

Why does no one see that OP's mother/the Grandmother was probably under a lot of stress being the host to a lot of children and grandchildren? of course she was a bit rude, but OP should have called her out on it right then and there and the whole thing would have been over and done.

also, it is silly that people are recommending that OP should have gotten her husband involved. this is a mother-daughter issue and OP's DH should stay far away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here..I now read all comments and see that the OP left the house.

I think OP's reaction (after consulting all the overly sensitive DCUMers) was way over the top and OP has ruined the vacation for everyone.

Why does no one see that OP's mother/the Grandmother was probably under a lot of stress being the host to a lot of children and grandchildren? of course she was a bit rude, but OP should have called her out on it right then and there and the whole thing would have been over and done.

also, it is silly that people are recommending that OP should have gotten her husband involved. this is a mother-daughter issue and OP's DH should stay far away.

I think OP knows her mom a little better than you do, Internet stranger. If she's an otherwise lovely person who was stressed out, I doubt it would have been an issue. I think it's amazing that you think someone calling their own daughter a fat selfish bitch is just "a bit rude". So many apologist doormats on this thread, smh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We left. She called me a selfish bitch and said I was ruining things for everyone else.

And to the waffle police: 3 Vans waffles have 240 calories and 45 grams of carbs. I admit the carbs are really high, but it's what was around and 240 calories for breakfast won't kill anyone.

And this is how you now you made the right decision. I'm so sorry OP. This is not the mother you deserve.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

My mother is toxic and has been for years. Some days she is more human than others. So no, this isn't a case of me overreacting, it was more of the last straw this week.

We never stormed out. We left calmly And, the fact she knew it was about the previous morning proves she knows she was hateful and expects me to just put up with it.

And again. 240 calories, people. My husband was running with the car keys or I'd have had other options, but we were nearing the end and groceries were scarce (I'd have preferred eggs myself).

[Anonymous]

Hey, OP, first, huge hug. I have a mom like your's. I made the mistake of thinking after 15 years I could do 4 days with the whole family. Big. Mistake. Needless to say, it's back to vacationing sans extended family. And I couldn't be happier.

Second, high five for standing up for yourself and your family and not letting your toxic mother run roughshod over you simply because she's you mom. It' so. damn. hard to take that step of saying "This is not okay and I am not going to subject myself to it anymore" when it's your family. People will rip you apart for that decision--as you've witness here. But those of us who have family members like your mom? We know. We support you. You did the right thing, for you and your family. Chin up, and embrace this new freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My mother is toxic and has been for years. Some days she is more human than others. So no, this isn't a case of me overreacting, it was more of the last straw this week.

We never stormed out. We left calmly And, the fact she knew it was about the previous morning proves she knows she was hateful and expects me to just put up with it.

And again. 240 calories, people. My husband was running with the car keys or I'd have had other options, but we were nearing the end and groceries were scarce (I'd have preferred eggs myself).

Don't be so literal. You left the house and changed your plans because your mother called you fat (which you are).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My mother is toxic and has been for years. Some days she is more human than others. So no, this isn't a case of me overreacting, it was more of the last straw this week.

We never stormed out. We left calmly And, the fact she knew it was about the previous morning proves she knows she was hateful and expects me to just put up with it.

And again. 240 calories, people. My husband was running with the car keys or I'd have had other options, but we were nearing the end and groceries were scarce (I'd have preferred eggs myself).

Don't be so literal. You left the house and changed your plans because your mother called you fat (which you are).

Ignoring the fact that you missed most of the story and drew a completely wrong conclusion, what's wrong with being fat PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My mother is toxic and has been for years. Some days she is more human than others. So no, this isn't a case of me overreacting, it was more of the last straw this week.

We never stormed out. We left calmly And, the fact she knew it was about the previous morning proves she knows she was hateful and expects me to just put up with it.

And again. 240 calories, people. My husband was running with the car keys or I'd have had other options, but we were nearing the end and groceries were scarce (I'd have preferred eggs myself).

Don't be so literal. You left the house and changed your plans because your mother called you fat (which you are).

I missed where you have to be bullied and abused because someone doesn't like something about you.