Vacation drama with mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow what a strange series of responses. Let's face it; OP is fat and selfish and a drama queen. Mooching off her mom for a free vacation and then trying to ruin it for everyone by making it all about her. I bet they have learned the hard way not to respond to drama queen's outbursts over every perceived slight. If OP can't or won't afford her own vacation then that's evidence enough she is selfish. She makes one excuse after another about why she is justified in taking three waffles but my guess is that there is a lot more going on and OP wants to come cry with the rest of the entitlement crowd.

Are you an angry mother or mother-in-law? This response is ridiculous.

Above poster has children that hate her.

[Anonymous]

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow what a strange series of responses. Let's face it; OP is fat and selfish and a drama queen. Mooching off her mom for a free vacation and then trying to ruin it for everyone by making it all about her. I bet they have learned the hard way not to respond to drama queen's outbursts over every perceived slight. If OP can't or won't afford her own vacation then that's evidence enough she is selfish. She makes one excuse after another about why she is justified in taking three waffles but my guess is that there is a lot more going on and OP wants to come cry with the rest of the entitlement crowd.

Mom?

[Anonymous]

at my parents' beach house with DH and our baby

When you mooch off your parents, you have to put-up with them. Maybe they're crazy. Maybe they're mean. Whatever. The details really don't matter - who said what, who ate what - none of this matters. Pay for you own vacation. Then YOU get to decide if their behavior is good enough to be invited as YOUR guest.

[Anonymous]

Op's weight is kind of irrelevant here. Even if she was 450 lbs, she knows what she weighs and she is an adult who can choose what to do with her body. No one else's input is necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

at my parents' beach house with DH and our baby

When you mooch off your parents, you have to put-up with them. Maybe they're crazy. Maybe they're mean. Whatever. The details really don't matter - who said what, who ate what - none of this matters. Pay for you own vacation. Then YOU get to decide if their behavior is good enough to be invited as YOUR guest.

Being an invited guest isn't mooching. Jealous much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently at my parents' beach house with DH and our baby, my sister and her family, and my parents.

This morning, I took three frozen waffles for breakfast, and my mom went nuts. She called me fat and selfish and told me those were for the kids. Then she grabbed two of them and put them back in the box in the freezer.

We don't get along very well but this was beyond awful, even for her. Yes, I'm overweight. But I'm nursing an infant. I'm starving all the time, and I hadn't eaten for over 12 hours. And I hate being treated like a fat child. No one ever told me the food in the house was just for the kids, so how would I know? Everyone else has been snacking on everything that's not nailed down, so I don't think it's because I ate something she bought, at leas that's never been an issue when we've visited before.

Would you go home over this? I don't even know how to deal with her otherwise.

My mom behaves the same way, treats me the same way. It does make me feel better I am not the only one. In your case, I would get in the car and go out to breakfast, stop at the store buy food for your family and write your names on the food. I would replace the frozen waffles with a new box. I would not bother inviting your mother to breakfast, she clearly is not hungry.

[Anonymous]

Another thing to consider ~ if family have a hard time getting along - don't push it to the limit. How many days was this planned vacation going to be? Even among family members who get along well, my parents/family wouldn't expect to get along well (sharing accommodations) for more than 3 days. It's the 3 day rule (my Mom says it's the same as fish. Starts to smell after 3 days, something like that) With my husband's side of the family when we go to the beach, we rent our own house. And he's an only child! The other aunts/uncles/cousins share a huge house and resentment, hurt feelings build and fester.

Get your Mother out of the role of "provider" Buy your own food. This isn't a reflection of her as a hostess. She needs to stop being "the hostess" Then, you don't have to be "the guest". As equals maybe the two of you can get along - for 3 days - only!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently at my parents' beach house with DH and our baby, my sister and her family, and my parents.

This morning, I took three frozen waffles for breakfast, and my mom went nuts. She called me fat and selfish and told me those were for the kids. Then she grabbed two of them and put them back in the box in the freezer.

We don't get along very well but this was beyond awful, even for her. Yes, I'm overweight. But I'm nursing an infant. I'm starving all the time, and I hadn't eaten for over 12 hours. And I hate being treated like a fat child. No one ever told me the food in the house was just for the kids, so how would I know? Everyone else has been snacking on everything that's not nailed down, so I don't think it's because I ate something she bought, at leas that's never been an issue when we've visited before.

Would you go home over this? I don't even know how to deal with her otherwise.

Leave.

Refuse to let her see the kids unless her behavior changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

at my parents' beach house with DH and our baby

When you mooch off your parents, you have to put-up with them. Maybe they're crazy. Maybe they're mean. Whatever. The details really don't matter - who said what, who ate what - none of this matters. Pay for you own vacation. Then YOU get to decide if their behavior is good enough to be invited as YOUR guest.

Clearly no one invites you anywhere.... sorry your parents don't have a beach house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It says a lot about Americans when you're 'diagnosed' pro-ana by a stranger online simply because you don't eat like a fatass.

It says a lot about you when you toss abusive terms around when someone disagrees with you. What's your ethnicity, since you're not "American"?

I find this person's anti American tone unhelpful to this discussion.
*go USA!*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess the fat shamers missed how I gained less than 5 lbs while pregnant and have lost 25 since giving birth.

Or more likely, they just don't care, since it doesn't feed into their crazy reality where fat women deserve to be bullied.

Good for you, OP! Ignore the Food Police, thank God we have enough to eat, etc. Losing 25 pounds is outstanding! Sorry about the beach house, but sometimes enough is enough.

This thread is remarkable on so many levels...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess the fat shamers missed how I gained less than 5 lbs while pregnant and have lost 25 since giving birth.

Or more likely, they just don't care, since it doesn't feed into their crazy reality where fat women deserve to be bullied.

Good for you, OP! Ignore the Food Police, thank God we have enough to eat, etc. Losing 25 pounds is outstanding! Sorry about the beach house, but sometimes enough is enough.

This thread is remarkable on so many levels...

I find it sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

at my parents' beach house with DH and our baby

When you mooch off your parents, you have to put-up with them. Maybe they're crazy. Maybe they're mean. Whatever. The details really don't matter - who said what, who ate what - none of this matters. Pay for you own vacation. Then YOU get to decide if their behavior is good enough to be invited as YOUR guest.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Would assume this was my mother too, but they don't have a beach house.

I never knew this type of behavior was abusive until I went to therapy. Feel you OP; just went to my parents to help them, because they are elderly and infirm. Had the guts @ age 47 to "talk back" to Mom when she told me how awful and fat I look, AND then she told me I look disgusting. Good times.

I would just not go back to their beach house with your mom--if everything you eat is watched, it's not a vacation. Usually my Mom will not say things in front of others, only when I am by myself. So the other advice to always be around others if you don't want Mom to be abusive works for me.

On the plus side, my Mom always wants people to tell her my thinner brother looks like her. When she asked this of a new neighbor, they responded that I looked like her and they had no idea my brother was her son. Ha. Of course, she lashed out a me later, but it was worth it to see the look on her face.

Know our friends and relatives wonder why we only visit when we absolutely have to.