Things you wish your wish your spouse told you before the wedding:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother thinks I walk on Water, am never wrong and completely support the family from my job alone. You should take care of everything else because I will be exhausted after work. It doesn't matter that you also have a job, all childcare,cooking, housework, gift buying etc, etc is your responsibility. She will never acknowledge that your job is important, you supply the health benefits and make the same amount of money I do. My family will never ask you one thing about your job because it is not important. You're only a nurse.

Did we marry twins?

[Anonymous]

I'm okay with banging twice a month.

Sometimes less.

[Anonymous]

1) My desire for cleanliness extends to sex. I won't masturbate anywhere but the toilet because I think it's dirty. Would never consider anal sex. Like to shower immediately afterwards so there's never a wet spot. Did I mention I'm a repressed Catholic?
2) I have no intention of being an equal partner in childrearing or household tasks. You'll end up working as many hours if not more than I do, but then come home and be responsible for 90% of the domestic stuff.
3) you will be dying for affection by the time we have kids. Not interested in any kind of physical touch unless it ends up in sex.
4) Oh and by the way? The social drinking I do now will turn into alcoholism in my 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) My desire for cleanliness extends to sex. I won't masturbate anywhere but the toilet because I think it's dirty. Would never consider anal sex. Like to shower immediately afterwards so there's never a wet spot. Did I mention I'm a repressed Catholic?
2) I have no intention of being an equal partner in childrearing or household tasks. You'll end up working as many hours if not more than I do, but then come home and be responsible for 90% of the domestic stuff.
3) you will be dying for affection by the time we have kids. Not interested in any kind of physical touch unless it ends up in sex.
4) Oh and by the way? The social drinking I do now will turn into alcoholism in my 40s.

what a prize!

[Anonymous]

Ok I'll play too:

- Despite the fact that we both work full time jobs, you will be responsible for figuring out all of our finances and paying our bills, all laundry, dry cleaning drop-off/pick-up, grocery shopping, cooking of all dinners, planning all vacations and our social calendar, researching all vendors and booking them, making sure that our child has everything they need, etc. I will tell you that I will take care of things like garbage and cleaning up after dinner/dishwasher loading and unloading, but will really never do it unless nagged...which will follow with me getting huffy and obnoxious toward you.

- I know that when we were dating I used to buy you little gifts, be affectionate with you and give you compliments. But after we are married I will only buy you a gift for your birthday and Christmas, I will instead buy myself all sorts of gadgets and whatever hobby I cycle through at the time. I won't even buy or pick out anything for our children from me. Oh, and no more compliments....you're just there.

- I know that I seemed like a really handy guy who took a lot of pride in his things. But after we are married, I will refuse to do home maintenance and repair. Weekends are for me to relax, you know. I will only help with keeping up our home if pestered about it and I can't put it off any longer.

- After we have a child, I will not have sex with you anymore. I won't explain why. When asked I will tell you that it's hard because i'm tired all the time and we don't want to wake the baby. When you get upset about it and feel rejected I will stonewall you and pretend like the issue doesn't exist. When sex comes on TV or in movies and creates an awkward silence in the room, I will bury my face in my tablet and pray to God that you don't bring it up again.

- Every night, I will eat the meal you prepared for us, bury myself in reading tech articles online and then fall asleep on the sofa by 9 pm and snore like a freight train like an old man. I won't ask you about your day, or watch a show with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) My desire for cleanliness extends to sex. I won't masturbate anywhere but the toilet because I think it's dirty. Would never consider anal sex. Like to shower immediately afterwards so there's never a wet spot. Did I mention I'm a repressed Catholic?
2) I have no intention of being an equal partner in childrearing or household tasks. You'll end up working as many hours if not more than I do, but then come home and be responsible for 90% of the domestic stuff.
3) you will be dying for affection by the time we have kids. Not interested in any kind of physical touch unless it ends up in sex.
4) Oh and by the way? The social drinking I do now will turn into alcoholism in my 40s.

Gay?

[Anonymous]

I'm not having anal sex with anyone either. You want booty sex, go pay for it. Has nothing to do with being Catholic.

[Anonymous]

bump

[Anonymous]

After marriage, I will fart increasingly often/loudly.

That's all I can think of, which evidently means I won the lottery.

[Anonymous]

1. I can watch The Shawshank Redemption an infinite number of times and if it's on any cable channel I will expect to watch it, even if I just watched it earlier in the day.

[Anonymous]

I am actually a lot like my mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) My desire for cleanliness extends to sex. I won't masturbate anywhere but the toilet because I think it's dirty. Would never consider anal sex. Like to shower immediately afterwards so there's never a wet spot. Did I mention I'm a repressed Catholic?
2) I have no intention of being an equal partner in childrearing or household tasks. You'll end up working as many hours if not more than I do, but then come home and be responsible for 90% of the domestic stuff.
3) you will be dying for affection by the time we have kids. Not interested in any kind of physical touch unless it ends up in sex.
4) Oh and by the way? The social drinking I do now will turn into alcoholism in my 40s.

Gay?

I'm still married to him. Hope and pray he's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) My desire for cleanliness extends to sex. I won't masturbate anywhere but the toilet because I think it's dirty. Would never consider anal sex. Like to shower immediately afterwards so there's never a wet spot. Did I mention I'm a repressed Catholic?
2) I have no intention of being an equal partner in childrearing or household tasks. You'll end up working as many hours if not more than I do, but then come home and be responsible for 90% of the domestic stuff.
3) you will be dying for affection by the time we have kids. Not interested in any kind of physical touch unless it ends up in sex.
4) Oh and by the way? The social drinking I do now will turn into alcoholism in my 40s.

Gay?

I'm still married to him. Hope and pray he's not.

I can't think of a nastier place to masturbate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother thinks I walk on Water, am never wrong and completely support the family from my job alone. You should take care of everything else because I will be exhausted after work. It doesn't matter that you also have a job, all childcare,cooking, housework, gift buying etc, etc is your responsibility. She will never acknowledge that your job is important, you supply the health benefits and make the same amount of money I do. My family will never ask you one thing about your job because it is not important. You're only a nurse.

Did we marry twins?

He is a twin so maybe....... Jackie?

Luckily my guy does have my back and does stand up to his mom. He is very supportive and acknowledges we are a partnership. The funny thing is my MIL also gives my 2 SAHM SIL's a hard time because then her poor boys are the sole financial support and that is so stressful. (she was a SAHM, never had a paying job) One SIL helps run a small family business BIL started, she receives no pay. My other BIL would never have gotten to where he is without the social graces of his wife and her willingness to be a single parent for weeks at a time while he travels on business. She moved cross country away from family and numerous times since.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im gonna get really fat when pregnant and it will be hard on me emotionally. I will lose the weight within the year but each time it will be really hard for me. I know you don't care but I felt disgusting each time for a solid year. Please try and realize its super super hard for me.

???
Fail. This is not something she could have predicted.