Things you wish your wish your spouse told you before the wedding:

[Anonymous]

Im gonna get really fat when pregnant and it will be hard on me emotionally. I will lose the weight within the year but each time it will be really hard for me. I know you don't care but I felt disgusting each time for a solid year. Please try and realize its super super hard for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to take an unexpected leave from work to deal with serious depression.

My mother is a substance abuser and has been to rehab several times.

I will never take responsibility for our children, even though I am enthusiastically encouraging you to have kids with me. I will play with them, but I will never change a diaper, go to the pediatrician, give them medicine when they are sick, do their laundry, fix their lunches, etc. In fact, when you leave me to "babysit" them, I will call you with questions, or take them and leave them with another adult, whom you may or may not know.

Wait, did we marry the same man?

[Anonymous]

Things I wish my DH had told me:

1. I will do missionary until I'm 55 and then I'll stop with sex altogether.

2. I have a palate that hasn't really advanced since I was 7 years old. I have no desire to change this.

3. I will never lift a finger to do anything 'handy' in the house ever.

4. At a certain point I will completely give in to toenail fungus.

5. My idea of vigorous activity is a listless shamble towards the TV when I can't find the remote.

6. I'll keep a vigorous head of healthy hair, but my teeth will crumble out of my mouth one by one.

7. When you get down to it, I'm afraid of animals and fast moving machinery.

8. I didn't grow up using fancy things like 'sheets' and 'silverware'.

9. I really can't drive my way out of a paper bag.

[Anonymous]

I will agree that you should be a SAHM before we get married, but then change my mind because you "make too much".

[Anonymous]

That he coerced a high school girlfriend into getting an abortion and that it f'd him up more than he'd ever realized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im gonna get really fat when pregnant and it will be hard on me emotionally. I will lose the weight within the year but each time it will be really hard for me. I know you don't care but I felt disgusting each time for a solid year. Please try and realize its super super hard for me.

I think you misread the post. This sounds like something you wish you had told your spouse.

[Anonymous]

I think this thread is hysterical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this thread is hysterical.

I think it's sad. My DH is far from perfect but there are some really f'ed up marriages described here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That he coerced a high school girlfriend into getting an abortion and that it f'd him up more than he'd ever realized.

can't he get help for this?

[Anonymous]

You think my mom is a pushy attention-seeker now, in the midst of our engagement?

By the way, my mom has boundary issues; don't ever tell her anything that you do not want everyone she knows to learn.

Oh, and my mom thinks I'm perfect!

[Anonymous]

It's funny, sometimes gender is obvious from these posts, other times it could go either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this thread is hysterical.

I think it's sad. My DH is far from perfect but there are some really f'ed up marriages described here.

Oh god get over yourself. People are just being brutally honest is all. There are good things about the spouse that they aren't mentioning here. Nothing about marriage is black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things I wish my DH had told me:

1. I will do missionary until I'm 55 and then I'll stop with sex altogether.

2. I have a palate that hasn't really advanced since I was 7 years old. I have no desire to change this.

3. I will never lift a finger to do anything 'handy' in the house ever.

4. At a certain point I will completely give in to toenail fungus.

5. My idea of vigorous activity is a listless shamble towards the TV when I can't find the remote.

6. I'll keep a vigorous head of healthy hair, but my teeth will crumble out of my mouth one by one.

7. When you get down to it, I'm afraid of animals and fast moving machinery.

8. I didn't grow up using fancy things like 'sheets' and 'silverware'.

9. I really can't drive my way out of a paper bag.

Are you in an arranged marriage where you met your spouse on your wedding day? How did you not know 2, 8, or 9 before getting married?

[Anonymous]

I wish he had told me about what the bottled up anger was all about. Or that it would leak out and turn him into an angry violent man. I wish he had told me that someday i would tremble in fear at the sight of him. I wish he had told me that i was making a terrible, life-altering choice that would someday make me regret the day i was born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things I wish my DH had told me:

1. I will do missionary until I'm 55 and then I'll stop with sex altogether.

2. I have a palate that hasn't really advanced since I was 7 years old. I have no desire to change this.

3. I will never lift a finger to do anything 'handy' in the house ever.

4. At a certain point I will completely give in to toenail fungus.

5. My idea of vigorous activity is a listless shamble towards the TV when I can't find the remote.

6. I'll keep a vigorous head of healthy hair, but my teeth will crumble out of my mouth one by one.

7. When you get down to it, I'm afraid of animals and fast moving machinery.

8. I didn't grow up using fancy things like 'sheets' and 'silverware'.

9. I really can't drive my way out of a paper bag.

Are you in an arranged marriage where you met your spouse on your wedding day? How did you not know 2, 8, or 9 before getting married?

Well, with #2 we ate out a lot at fancy steak houses like The Palm, Prime Rib, Morton's and so on when were dating. It's easy to hide your arrested palate behind steaks and burgers and deli food.

With #8 sure, he put sheets and silverware in his condo as a successful grown-up, but not having grown up putting sheets (fitted and top) and basic table settings leaves you with some crazy lapses of decorum when you're showing your 'true self' in a marriage.

With #9 this will sound pretentious but he is from NYC and we always took a cab or a hired car when we went dated both here and in NY. He occasionally drove short distances, but nothing very complicated--just straight shot driving up a road. Now we have 4 kids and birthday parties and soccer games all over and the learning curve for him has and continues to be enormous. It's like he has directional blindness--is that a thing?