DD is extremely disappointed

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't think it is that big of a deal. She know she is smart enough to get in but when it comes down to it, it is a big waste of money if your public is a good option. I actually think saying we decided not to afford it instead of we can't afford it is fine.

People must really pamper their kids to think this is such a big deal.

This thread reminds me of when gasp my friend's daughter had to drive a corolla (the nanny's old car) instead of their old BMW (that they told her was hers when she turned 16) because they were in an accident. The dad was willing to give her the old Family car but not go out an buy a BMW for her, she cried, oh well.

[Anonymous]

Well adjusted individuals will get over a little disappointment. Don't dwell, simply move on!

[Anonymous]

Our financial situation changed over the past few months so we aren't sure we will accept either. Don't worry OP, she will get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't think it is that big of a deal. She know she is smart enough to get in but when it comes down to it, it is a big waste of money if your public is a good option. I actually think saying we decided not to afford it instead of we can't afford it is fine.

People must really pamper their kids to think this is such a big deal.

This thread reminds me of when gasp my friend's daughter had to drive a corolla (the nanny's old car) instead of their old BMW (that they told her was hers when she turned 16) because they were in an accident. The dad was willing to give her the old Family car but not go out an buy a BMW for her, she cried, oh well.

There is NO comparison to your, gasp, friend's daughter and OP's situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disney World, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disney World burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disney World, but it was getting pretty late.

I think I love you....

This is from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy. (SNL)

Not cool to post without attribution, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would strongly suggest you talk to the school before you say no. Also, maybe take another look at your finances and see what you can do. If her heart is so set on this school, maybe she will try much harder than if she has to settle for your public school.

Op, if you do this, then don't tell your dd that you are.

Hope you will use this ad a learning experience for college applications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I am truly sorry this has happened to your family. I can only tell you that you've created a bit of a 'what if' situation here and there's no easy way out -- if she doesn't accept the offer, you and she will wonder 'what if' along almost every way (college admissions, grades, learning opportunities, etc.). If she goes and you make what will clearly be hard sacrifices, you and she and the rest of your family will bear a kind of resentment because of the things you won't be able to have due to the cost.

Having said that;
You're not a terrible person, but you also are clearly not fully in touch with what an independent school will cost (and it only gets worse -- there are a lot of hidden costs, etc.). If you are not prepared for this kind of sticker shock I don't think you'll find those other costs any easier to bear. Tell her -- PROMISE HER -- that you will work with her to set aside a certain amount of what you would have spent on tuition so that when it comes to colleges, you and she will have a little more breathing room (I am assuming you will be assisting with tuition -- perhaps not, and I would understand, for not everyone can do so).

She has learned from this. So have you. I am sorry it comes at such a cost.

Good luck.

You are so melodramatic. Lighten the fuck up.

Paging Sergeant Hulka!* (*cultural reference from the 1980s).

[Anonymous]

These answers are riduclous. Betrayal? What sheltered privileged lives you lead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't think it is that big of a deal. She know she is smart enough to get in but when it comes down to it, it is a big waste of money if your public is a good option. I actually think saying we decided not to afford it instead of we can't afford it is fine.

People must really pamper their kids to think this is such a big deal.

This thread reminds me of when gasp my friend's daughter had to drive a corolla (the nanny's old car) instead of their old BMW (that they told her was hers when she turned 16) because they were in an accident. The dad was willing to give her the old Family car but not go out an buy a BMW for her, she cried, oh well.

There is NO comparison to your, gasp, friend's daughter and OP's situation.

You put too much importance on this decision about private schools.

[Anonymous]

Talk with the school first. See where you AND she might be willing to make sacrafices. Maybe even a weekend babysitting job? Turn lemon into lemon aid.

[Anonymous]

It's not about not being as to afford private school, unexpectedly or not. It's about OP bring so irresponsible to have gotten into this situation because she couldn't be bothered to do simple. My parents weren't able to afford private for me, and I complety understood. But to pull this irresponsible shit with your kid is just ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not about not being as to afford private school, unexpectedly or not. It's about OP bring so irresponsible to have gotten into this situation because she couldn't be bothered to do simple. My parents weren't able to afford private for me, and I complety understood. But to pull this irresponsible shit with your kid is just ridiculous.

Give me a break. Now I know why people complain about Gen Xers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These answers are riduclous. Betrayal? What sheltered privileged lives you lead.

Yes, probably OP's DD has had a very sheltered life so far in regards to finances and having her parents disappoint her,etc. At 12, I don't see anything wrong with that. I don't think that kids are supposed to being worry about families long term finances at age 12 and they should be able to trust their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not about not being as to afford private school, unexpectedly or not. It's about OP bring so irresponsible to have gotten into this situation because she couldn't be bothered to do simple. My parents weren't able to afford private for me, and I complety understood. But to pull this irresponsible shit with your kid is just ridiculous.

Give me a break. Now I know why people complain about Gen Xers

So you too would feel hardly any guilt at having made your DD interview, write essays, work hard on her SSAT, only to turn around when she's exulting and say:
"Oops, sorry, we don't have the money after all. Well, good for you anyway."

Says everything we need to know about your character, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow you're an asshole OP. You should have done all of that BEFORE you made your daughter do all the work/get her hopes up. You owe her big time.

Was that a really neccessary comment to make? I know OP opened up to it with the post but there's no need to abandon civility in your response.