If your wife stopped having sex with you, what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B and D, having affairs or divorcing when the kids are grown -- in these options, you are paying for your wife to live comfortably in your house when she despises you and provides little or no value to your life. Plus when you eventually divorce, your retirement savings and the marital estate will be larger than they are now, so she'll get more of your wealth.

Sack up and pull the plug.

Second marriages fail at a greater rate. It will be a big financial hit. Have an affair and you will likely damage your relationship with the kids and others. If you can't work it out at least divorce amicably.

Second marriages? Who said anything about marrying again. Learn your lesson and don't do that again.

My point was that the financial hit is larger if you wait. Divorce now is always cheaper than divorce later.

I also did not say "don't divorce amicably".

Sack up and pull the plug. Do it as soon as possible and as amicably as possible, but do it.

The problem is divorced guys want the benefits of being married without the commitment. If you truly want just a sexual relationship with a woman, offer to "sponsor" someone and get your needs met.

LMAO the whole reason they get divorced is they made the commitment but didn't get the supposed benefits of marriage.

Actual "benefits" of marriage: woman who loses interest in you, gives you once a month pity sex if at all, doesn't do anything around the house, is expensive to get rid of, can cheat on you and leave you without fear of punishment. In short, a shit deal for men.

And no, in this day and age, there is no need to pay for sex. It's out there in the wild, more or less free!

Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

[Anonymous]

Divorce. Amicably for the kids. Remember they come first and put aside your differences with each other and chalk it up to having great kids but not being great for each other.
I am sure there is a reason she won't have sex with you...have you figured out why? Sounds like you aren't blaming yourself in way, but I bet she has the other side of the story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This actually pertains to me. My wife and I have not had sex for 2 and a half years. I love her. She is my soul mate. I don't want to leave or divorce but if I make an advance she will always push me away.There are no other overriding conflicts. No abuse, no alcohol or drug abuse, no infidelity. Frankly I don;t know what to do. I don't initialize anything anymore because I know she will not want me. I just wondered if anyone else fell into this pattern and ever recovered their marriage.

So, other than making advances and then stopping making futile advances, what steps have you taken to attempt to resolve this issue? If you are just accepting it and ignoring it, it is not going to help. There is an issue and it needs to be addressed.

That is a super long time! I would ask her point blank, but I wonder if it's do to ageing and attraction. People are in such denial about that. As people age they aren't always attracted like they were. Still she should make the effort, but first find out why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B and D, having affairs or divorcing when the kids are grown -- in these options, you are paying for your wife to live comfortably in your house when she despises you and provides little or no value to your life. Plus when you eventually divorce, your retirement savings and the marital estate will be larger than they are now, so she'll get more of your wealth.

Sack up and pull the plug.

Second marriages fail at a greater rate. It will be a big financial hit. Have an affair and you will likely damage your relationship with the kids and others. If you can't work it out at least divorce amicably.

Second marriages? Who said anything about marrying again. Learn your lesson and don't do that again.

My point was that the financial hit is larger if you wait. Divorce now is always cheaper than divorce later.

I also did not say "don't divorce amicably".

Sack up and pull the plug. Do it as soon as possible and as amicably as possible, but do it.

The problem is divorced guys want the benefits of being married without the commitment. If you truly want just a sexual relationship with a woman, offer to "sponsor" someone and get your needs met.

LMAO the whole reason they get divorced is they made the commitment but didn't get the supposed benefits of marriage.

Actual "benefits" of marriage: woman who loses interest in you, gives you once a month pity sex if at all, doesn't do anything around the house, is expensive to get rid of, can cheat on you and leave you without fear of punishment. In short, a shit deal for men.

And no, in this day and age, there is no need to pay for sex. It's out there in the wild, more or less free!

Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B and D, having affairs or divorcing when the kids are grown -- in these options, you are paying for your wife to live comfortably in your house when she despises you and provides little or no value to your life. Plus when you eventually divorce, your retirement savings and the marital estate will be larger than they are now, so she'll get more of your wealth.

Sack up and pull the plug.

Second marriages fail at a greater rate. It will be a big financial hit. Have an affair and you will likely damage your relationship with the kids and others. If you can't work it out at least divorce amicably.

Second marriages? Who said anything about marrying again. Learn your lesson and don't do that again.

My point was that the financial hit is larger if you wait. Divorce now is always cheaper than divorce later.

I also did not say "don't divorce amicably".

Sack up and pull the plug. Do it as soon as possible and as amicably as possible, but do it.

The problem is divorced guys want the benefits of being married without the commitment. If you truly want just a sexual relationship with a woman, offer to "sponsor" someone and get your needs met.

LMAO the whole reason they get divorced is they made the commitment but didn't get the supposed benefits of marriage.

Actual "benefits" of marriage: woman who loses interest in you, gives you once a month pity sex if at all, doesn't do anything around the house, is expensive to get rid of, can cheat on you and leave you without fear of punishment. In short, a shit deal for men.

And no, in this day and age, there is no need to pay for sex. It's out there in the wild, more or less free!

Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

True but it's even harder in the 50's. Chances are you won't find a life partner so it's something to weigh carefully. If everything else in the marriage is good I'd say stay and work it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce. Amicably for the kids. Remember they come first and put aside your differences with each other and chalk it up to having great kids but not being great for each other.
I am sure there is a reason she won't have sex with you...have you figured out why? Sounds like you aren't blaming yourself in way, but I bet she has the other side of the story.

The typical female response: if there's a problem, it must be the man's fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B and D, having affairs or divorcing when the kids are grown -- in these options, you are paying for your wife to live comfortably in your house when she despises you and provides little or no value to your life. Plus when you eventually divorce, your retirement savings and the marital estate will be larger than they are now, so she'll get more of your wealth.

Sack up and pull the plug.

Second marriages fail at a greater rate. It will be a big financial hit. Have an affair and you will likely damage your relationship with the kids and others. If you can't work it out at least divorce amicably.

Second marriages? Who said anything about marrying again. Learn your lesson and don't do that again.

My point was that the financial hit is larger if you wait. Divorce now is always cheaper than divorce later.

I also did not say "don't divorce amicably".

Sack up and pull the plug. Do it as soon as possible and as amicably as possible, but do it.

The problem is divorced guys want the benefits of being married without the commitment. If you truly want just a sexual relationship with a woman, offer to "sponsor" someone and get your needs met.

LMAO the whole reason they get divorced is they made the commitment but didn't get the supposed benefits of marriage.

Actual "benefits" of marriage: woman who loses interest in you, gives you once a month pity sex if at all, doesn't do anything around the house, is expensive to get rid of, can cheat on you and leave you without fear of punishment. In short, a shit deal for men.

And no, in this day and age, there is no need to pay for sex. It's out there in the wild, more or less free!

Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

Not true. I'm a troll but have plenty of dates as a 50s divorced man. I turn down far more than I ever try to meet.

I have a friend who is divorced, he could easily get lots of dates, but he's decided it's cheaper to hire a professional woman when he has the urge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B and D, having affairs or divorcing when the kids are grown -- in these options, you are paying for your wife to live comfortably in your house when she despises you and provides little or no value to your life. Plus when you eventually divorce, your retirement savings and the marital estate will be larger than they are now, so she'll get more of your wealth.

Sack up and pull the plug.

Second marriages fail at a greater rate. It will be a big financial hit. Have an affair and you will likely damage your relationship with the kids and others. If you can't work it out at least divorce amicably.

Second marriages? Who said anything about marrying again. Learn your lesson and don't do that again.

My point was that the financial hit is larger if you wait. Divorce now is always cheaper than divorce later.

I also did not say "don't divorce amicably".

Sack up and pull the plug. Do it as soon as possible and as amicably as possible, but do it.

The problem is divorced guys want the benefits of being married without the commitment. If you truly want just a sexual relationship with a woman, offer to "sponsor" someone and get your needs met.

LMAO the whole reason they get divorced is they made the commitment but didn't get the supposed benefits of marriage.

Actual "benefits" of marriage: woman who loses interest in you, gives you once a month pity sex if at all, doesn't do anything around the house, is expensive to get rid of, can cheat on you and leave you without fear of punishment. In short, a shit deal for men.

And no, in this day and age, there is no need to pay for sex. It's out there in the wild, more or less free!

Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

Where are you getting this information. My friends like and enjoy sex.You might need to amend your criteria for an attractive mate if you are attracting the same low, or no libido women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B and D, having affairs or divorcing when the kids are grown -- in these options, you are paying for your wife to live comfortably in your house when she despises you and provides little or no value to your life. Plus when you eventually divorce, your retirement savings and the marital estate will be larger than they are now, so she'll get more of your wealth.

Sack up and pull the plug.

Second marriages fail at a greater rate. It will be a big financial hit. Have an affair and you will likely damage your relationship with the kids and others. If you can't work it out at least divorce amicably.

Second marriages? Who said anything about marrying again. Learn your lesson and don't do that again.

My point was that the financial hit is larger if you wait. Divorce now is always cheaper than divorce later.

I also did not say "don't divorce amicably".

Sack up and pull the plug. Do it as soon as possible and as amicably as possible, but do it.

The problem is divorced guys want the benefits of being married without the commitment. If you truly want just a sexual relationship with a woman, offer to "sponsor" someone and get your needs met.

LMAO the whole reason they get divorced is they made the commitment but didn't get the supposed benefits of marriage.

Actual "benefits" of marriage: woman who loses interest in you, gives you once a month pity sex if at all, doesn't do anything around the house, is expensive to get rid of, can cheat on you and leave you without fear of punishment. In short, a shit deal for men.

And no, in this day and age, there is no need to pay for sex. It's out there in the wild, more or less free!

Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

True, they aren't looking for sex. But they ARE looking for companionship, somebody to "talk to" and do stuff with. So they have sex, this is just part of the deal if you want a male companion. Duh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B and D, having affairs or divorcing when the kids are grown -- in these options, you are paying for your wife to live comfortably in your house when she despises you and provides little or no value to your life. Plus when you eventually divorce, your retirement savings and the marital estate will be larger than they are now, so she'll get more of your wealth.

Sack up and pull the plug.

Second marriages fail at a greater rate. It will be a big financial hit. Have an affair and you will likely damage your relationship with the kids and others. If you can't work it out at least divorce amicably.

Second marriages? Who said anything about marrying again. Learn your lesson and don't do that again.

My point was that the financial hit is larger if you wait. Divorce now is always cheaper than divorce later.

I also did not say "don't divorce amicably".

Sack up and pull the plug. Do it as soon as possible and as amicably as possible, but do it.

The problem is divorced guys want the benefits of being married without the commitment. If you truly want just a sexual relationship with a woman, offer to "sponsor" someone and get your needs met.

LMAO the whole reason they get divorced is they made the commitment but didn't get the supposed benefits of marriage.

Actual "benefits" of marriage: woman who loses interest in you, gives you once a month pity sex if at all, doesn't do anything around the house, is expensive to get rid of, can cheat on you and leave you without fear of punishment. In short, a shit deal for men.

And no, in this day and age, there is no need to pay for sex. It's out there in the wild, more or less free!

Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

Not true. I'm a troll but have plenty of dates as a 50s divorced man. I turn down far more than I ever try to meet.

I have a friend who is divorced, he could easily get lots of dates, but he's decided it's cheaper to hire a professional woman when he has the urge.

Are you ugly, out of shape, and a general jack@ss? If not, then you will get dates, especially in DC. If you are any of these things, I find it hard to imagine that you are getting tons of dates at 50 without forking over a few benjamins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

Eh, so what. Divorced men looking for sex are not chasing 40-50 year old women. Waste of time, not attractive. Since these men just divorced one of those wrinkled sagging harridans, why would they want another one? If you just sold a 2003 Ford Explorer because it's an old piece of junk, you don't turn around and buy a 2002 Pontiak Aztek (another old piece of junk).

Anonymous wrote:True but it's even harder in the 50's. Chances are you won't find a life partner so it's something to weigh carefully. If everything else in the marriage is good I'd say stay and work it out.

A life partner? The supposed "life partner" you have now has decided, on your behalf, that the rest of your life should not involve sex (if you spend it with her, anyway). Often as not, that decision is the prelude to her cheating on you and/or leaving, which she can do at any time. That should tell you how valid the life partner concept is. You are far better off having a series of non-marital relationships that can be ended at the convenience of either party.

And oh by the way, it is never true that "everything else in the marriage is good but the bedroom is dead".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

Eh, so what. Divorced men looking for sex are not chasing 40-50 year old women. Waste of time, not attractive. Since these men just divorced one of those wrinkled sagging harridans, why would they want another one? If you just sold a 2003 Ford Explorer because it's an old piece of junk, you don't turn around and buy a 2002 Pontiak Aztek (another old piece of junk).

Anonymous wrote:True but it's even harder in the 50's. Chances are you won't find a life partner so it's something to weigh carefully. If everything else in the marriage is good I'd say stay and work it out.

A life partner? The supposed "life partner" you have now has decided, on your behalf, that the rest of your life should not involve sex (if you spend it with her, anyway). Often as not, that decision is the prelude to her cheating on you and/or leaving, which she can do at any time. That should tell you how valid the life partner concept is. You are far better off having a series of non-marital relationships that can be ended at the convenience of either party.

And oh by the way, it is never true that "everything else in the marriage is good but the bedroom is dead".

Divorced men in their 40s qnd 50s dating much younger women will quickly find themselves paying for additional children. It happened to a guy I know, a 53 year old with a less than one year old right after a divorce. The mom must have smelled him coming down the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:B and D, having affairs or divorcing when the kids are grown -- in these options, you are paying for your wife to live comfortably in your house when she despises you and provides little or no value to your life. Plus when you eventually divorce, your retirement savings and the marital estate will be larger than they are now, so she'll get more of your wealth.

Sack up and pull the plug.

Second marriages fail at a greater rate. It will be a big financial hit. Have an affair and you will likely damage your relationship with the kids and others. If you can't work it out at least divorce amicably.

Second marriages? Who said anything about marrying again. Learn your lesson and don't do that again.

My point was that the financial hit is larger if you wait. Divorce now is always cheaper than divorce later.

I also did not say "don't divorce amicably".

Sack up and pull the plug. Do it as soon as possible and as amicably as possible, but do it.

The problem is divorced guys want the benefits of being married without the commitment. If you truly want just a sexual relationship with a woman, offer to "sponsor" someone and get your needs met.

LMAO the whole reason they get divorced is they made the commitment but didn't get the supposed benefits of marriage.

Actual "benefits" of marriage: woman who loses interest in you, gives you once a month pity sex if at all, doesn't do anything around the house, is expensive to get rid of, can cheat on you and leave you without fear of punishment. In short, a shit deal for men.

And no, in this day and age, there is no need to pay for sex. It's out there in the wild, more or less free!

Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

True, they aren't looking for sex. But they ARE looking for companionship, somebody to "talk to" and do stuff with. So they have sex, this is just part of the deal if you want a male companion. Duh!

Ha! I was going to write that but you beat me to it! Yes it's part of the work load involved with male companionship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

Eh, so what. Divorced men looking for sex are not chasing 40-50 year old women. Waste of time, not attractive. Since these men just divorced one of those wrinkled sagging harridans, why would they want another one? If you just sold a 2003 Ford Explorer because it's an old piece of junk, you don't turn around and buy a 2002 Pontiak Aztek (another old piece of junk).

Anonymous wrote:True but it's even harder in the 50's. Chances are you won't find a life partner so it's something to weigh carefully. If everything else in the marriage is good I'd say stay and work it out.

A life partner? The supposed "life partner" you have now has decided, on your behalf, that the rest of your life should not involve sex (if you spend it with her, anyway). Often as not, that decision is the prelude to her cheating on you and/or leaving, which she can do at any time. That should tell you how valid the life partner concept is. You are far better off having a series of non-marital relationships that can be ended at the convenience of either party.

And oh by the way, it is never true that "everything else in the marriage is good but the bedroom is dead".

Divorced men in their 40s qnd 50s dating much younger women will quickly find themselves paying for additional children. It happened to a guy I know, a 53 year old with a less than one year old right after a divorce. The mom must have smelled him coming down the street.

Very common. Why my one friend made sure her STBX got fixed. They wanted to make sure to protect their family. Last weekend I ran into a old friend I haven't seen in years. Her husband divorced her to date a much younger woman at age 48. Now at fifty he has a toddler. It's a big mess, and doubtful he'll ever retire. I honestly don't know how he let that happen. He has 3 kids with his ex wife.

[Anonymous]

I chose B, had a couple short term affairs when my wife lost interest in sex when the kids were young. Turned out to be the right choice, he libido came back slightly, mine has fallen as I have aged and we are settled back into a once a week routine. Would have hated to have broken up the family over this. Only so much solo action one can take before going crazy