If your wife stopped having sex with you, what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced men in their 40s qnd 50s dating much younger women will quickly find themselves paying for additional children. It happened to a guy I know, a 53 year old with a less than one year old right after a divorce. The mom must have smelled him coming down the street.

(shrug) Contraceptives are cheap, readily available, and highly effective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I chose B, had a couple short term affairs when my wife lost interest in sex when the kids were young. Turned out to be the right choice, he libido came back slightly, mine has fallen as I have aged and we are settled back into a once a week routine. Would have hated to have broken up the family over this. Only so much solo action one can take before going crazy

Terrible. I feel sorry for your wife and hope she doesn't get sick. A cheater will always bail.

It's sad your wife is in a phony marriage and doesn't know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I chose B, had a couple short term affairs when my wife lost interest in sex when the kids were young. Turned out to be the right choice, he libido came back slightly, mine has fallen as I have aged and we are settled back into a once a week routine. Would have hated to have broken up the family over this. Only so much solo action one can take before going crazy

Terrible. I feel sorry for your wife and hope she doesn't get sick. A cheater will always bail.

It's sad your wife is in a phony marriage and doesn't know it.

It's sad his wife chose to remain married to a man she had no interest in sex with.

[Anonymous]

So ... men in their 50s ... satisfied with once a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

Eh, so what. Divorced men looking for sex are not chasing 40-50 year old women. Waste of time, not attractive. Since these men just divorced one of those wrinkled sagging harridans, why would they want another one? If you just sold a 2003 Ford Explorer because it's an old piece of junk, you don't turn around and buy a 2002 Pontiak Aztek (another old piece of junk).

Anonymous wrote:True but it's even harder in the 50's. Chances are you won't find a life partner so it's something to weigh carefully. If everything else in the marriage is good I'd say stay and work it out.

A life partner? The supposed "life partner" you have now has decided, on your behalf, that the rest of your life should not involve sex (if you spend it with her, anyway). Often as not, that decision is the prelude to her cheating on you and/or leaving, which she can do at any time. That should tell you how valid the life partner concept is. You are far better off having a series of non-marital relationships that can be ended at the convenience of either party.

And oh by the way, it is never true that "everything else in the marriage is good but the bedroom is dead".

Divorced men in their 40s qnd 50s dating much younger women will quickly find themselves paying for additional children. It happened to a guy I know, a 53 year old with a less than one year old right after a divorce. The mom must have smelled him coming down the street.

The best part is that when I have more children, the child support payment to my ex-wife falls!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but not for most divorced dads in their late 40s and 50s. This is not the reality of dating after a middle aged divorce. If you have kept yourself in excellent shape, are still viril while using a condom, have a pleasane personality, and still handsome, then yes, someone will find you attractive.

No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

Eh, so what. Divorced men looking for sex are not chasing 40-50 year old women. Waste of time, not attractive. Since these men just divorced one of those wrinkled sagging harridans, why would they want another one? If you just sold a 2003 Ford Explorer because it's an old piece of junk, you don't turn around and buy a 2002 Pontiak Aztek (another old piece of junk).

Anonymous wrote:True but it's even harder in the 50's. Chances are you won't find a life partner so it's something to weigh carefully. If everything else in the marriage is good I'd say stay and work it out.

A life partner? The supposed "life partner" you have now has decided, on your behalf, that the rest of your life should not involve sex (if you spend it with her, anyway). Often as not, that decision is the prelude to her cheating on you and/or leaving, which she can do at any time. That should tell you how valid the life partner concept is. You are far better off having a series of non-marital relationships that can be ended at the convenience of either party.

And oh by the way, it is never true that "everything else in the marriage is good but the bedroom is dead".

Divorced men in their 40s qnd 50s dating much younger women will quickly find themselves paying for additional children. It happened to a guy I know, a 53 year old with a less than one year old right after a divorce. The mom must have smelled him coming down the street.

The best part is that when I have more children, the child support payment to my ex-wife falls!

LOL Oh yes a great reason to continue to sperm donate to different partners. Basically cut off your own arm to spite your ex wife and former kids!

[Anonymous]

The sad thing is ... they aren't former kids. Still very much current children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

I see this attitude here a lot and maybe it’s true but I don’t get it. Been married 15-ish years, we are both pushing 50 and while my drive may not be what it was there is just no way I see suddenly realizing we haven’t had sex for over a year. I notice when it’s been IDK maybe 4-5 days. Admittedly my H probably notices when it’s been 2 days, but still I think we do alright and I just don’t get this - absent other problems/issues in a marriage, that is, which I’m guessing usually must be the case otherwise I really don’t get it. If I found myself in that situation I’d want to talk about it and try to figure out the reason and hopefully fix it.

[Anonymous]

When you're in it for the kids, you are no longer in love with your spouse. People only want to sleep with people they love or find attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sad thing is ... they aren't former kids. Still very much current children.

Agreed, but not how they're treated when these guys continue to sperm donate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you're in it for the kids, you are no longer in love with your spouse. People only want to sleep with people they love or find attractive.

True but that’s other issues/problems in your marriage, not limited solely to frequency of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

I see this attitude here a lot and maybe it’s true but I don’t get it. Been married 15-ish years, we are both pushing 50 and while my drive may not be what it was there is just no way I see suddenly realizing we haven’t had sex for over a year. I notice when it’s been IDK maybe 4-5 days. Admittedly my H probably notices when it’s been 2 days, but still I think we do alright and I just don’t get this - absent other problems/issues in a marriage, that is, which I’m guessing usually must be the case otherwise I really don’t get it. If I found myself in that situation I’d want to talk about it and try to figure out the reason and hopefully fix it.

Because once menopause hits and your hormones are gone, things are very, very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I chose B, had a couple short term affairs when my wife lost interest in sex when the kids were young. Turned out to be the right choice, he libido came back slightly, mine has fallen as I have aged and we are settled back into a once a week routine. Would have hated to have broken up the family over this. Only so much solo action one can take before going crazy

Terrible. I feel sorry for your wife and hope she doesn't get sick. A cheater will always bail.

It's sad your wife is in a phony marriage and doesn't know it.

A phony marriage is also one without sex. In addition to requiring fidelity, traditional marriage vows also require sex. In case you don’t know, that’s what “have” means in “to have and to hold.” They say “have” because it’s frowned upon in church to say “fu@k twice a week.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I chose B, had a couple short term affairs when my wife lost interest in sex when the kids were young. Turned out to be the right choice, he libido came back slightly, mine has fallen as I have aged and we are settled back into a once a week routine. Would have hated to have broken up the family over this. Only so much solo action one can take before going crazy

Terrible. I feel sorry for your wife and hope she doesn't get sick. A cheater will always bail.

It's sad your wife is in a phony marriage and doesn't know it.

A phony marriage is also one without sex. In addition to requiring fidelity, traditional marriage vows also require sex. In case you don’t know, that’s what “have” means in “to have and to hold.” They say “have” because it’s frowned upon in church to say “fu@k twice a week.”

Says you. You may be surprised that other people think. But you are a one note person, and it's all about you, you , you.

[Anonymous]

I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....