Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I'm a working mom and extremely organized."

Did you end up enjoying your Christmas season as much as you thought you would? I hope you didn't have to put up with too much complaining from those Real Housewives watchers who didn't plan well!

Ha ha lol!! I was just thinking the same thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex husband always refused to participate in child-centric activities. If there wasn't beer and football, he was not interested.
The first outing I allowed him and his new GF to take our kids to was a kid's music performance at the Kennedy Center. We were not yet divorced. He had been dating her a few months.
The new GF took pictures of MY children and posted their happy little family outing on FB, tagging my ex (we were still friends) so that when I opened my FB that day, I was greeted by my smiling little ones, on a family outing with HER that he would never have even considered for me.

I just got ill reading this....PP so sorry, I can't imagine how this must have felt.

Thank you for saying that. Sometimes a little validation helps. Honestly when I typed the camping one (see above) I started to cry.

I'm sorry PP. That is really hurtful, I can't imagine. This is going to sound stupid but whenever I see a picture of Giselle Bundchen with Tom Brady's son from his ex-girlfriend, I feel so sad for the ex. I can't imagine opening up a publication and seeing my kid having fun with my ex's new wife.

Aw, this is really sad. I agree with the others. That's really shitty of your ex to allow it.

I know two people who have divorced when their child was 1.5 years old, one of them is the cousin of my husband. His ex wife immediately started dating someone else and plastered TONS of pictures of their 2 year old all over the place on FB. A year or so lather, cousin-in-law gets a girlfriend, but although it seems clear his GF hangs out with his son sometimes, there are no pictures.

Guess who comes across as classier? It is completely tacky and disrespectful that he's doing this, and that his fucking girlfriend is posting pictures of them playing house with your kids. UGH. But, please take cold comfort in knowing two things:

1. Chances are pretty good he'll turn it off eventually and stop trying to impress the new girlfriend
2. Chances are good that most of your mutual friends, even if they remain friends with him, are definitely going to think "yuck" about those pictures, too. Too soon, you know?

Anyway, sorry that's happening to you, but I think I'm not sorry you're free of such a cad. Someone better is out there.

[Anonymous]

Ok so please enlighten me. I've never been interested in fb, don't accept invitations to join FB or google talk or whatever it is and I don't feel like I'm missing out. I figure the people who really matter in my life will just email their pics to me directly, call me up etc.

So why not just walk away from it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, yes, it's happened to me, though I know I should be more oblivious. Just sometimes "small" things that are upsetting, such as a supposed friend (I do know her from real life, for some time) can go on complimenting/responding/reacting to others on her list (she's got over 300 "friends" on there), but the few times I put up an update, she's not bothered to react. One might say she's too busy, but I have made time for her.

NOt sure if this is your case, but are all your posts about your baby? Because I don't comment on my friends' incessant baby posts if they never post anything else.

I'm that person you quoted, and no, I don't yet have children, and neither does that friend. So my (rare) posts are about other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"PS, and they were friends with him first, and their husbands are good friends with him. But I have been good friends (I thought) with all of them for 20 years.

Just being fair to them, they are his friends too.... "

And now their your frenemies.

Now they are gone.... I unfriended then and they were so angry a me about unfriending them that I have not heard from them since. That was 6 months ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just posted and mentioned we are doing marriage counseling. It definitely seems on FB everyone is super happily married.

Also, I have a friend who is a working mom, runs marathons, makes her kids' birthday cakes and designs favors for their parties that would make Martha Stewart blush, is always doing things like posting the different interior design things she's done to her house (on her own), etc. It's like she seems to have the perfect balance and do everything really, really well.

But your friend doesn't sleep with her husband anymore. Sex isn't on her priority list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted and mentioned we are doing marriage counseling. It definitely seems on FB everyone is super happily married.

Also, I have a friend who is a working mom, runs marathons, makes her kids' birthday cakes and designs favors for their parties that would make Martha Stewart blush, is always doing things like posting the different interior design things she's done to her house (on her own), etc. It's like she seems to have the perfect balance and do everything really, really well.

Some people really do. I'm a working mom and extremely organized. I can cram a lot in. I have found that being organized and planning my time well results is greater happiness, less chaos, and a more productive life to do the things I want to do.

How's your love life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok so please enlighten me. I've never been interested in fb, don't accept invitations to join FB or google talk or whatever it is and I don't feel like I'm missing out. I figure the people who really matter in my life will just email their pics to me directly, call me up etc.

So why not just walk away from it?

Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex husband always refused to participate in child-centric activities. If there wasn't beer and football, he was not interested.
The first outing I allowed him and his new GF to take our kids to was a kid's music performance at the Kennedy Center. We were not yet divorced. He had been dating her a few months.
The new GF took pictures of MY children and posted their happy little family outing on FB, tagging my ex (we were still friends) so that when I opened my FB that day, I was greeted by my smiling little ones, on a family outing with HER that he would never have even considered for me.

I just got ill reading this....PP so sorry, I can't imagine how this must have felt.

Thank you for saying that. Sometimes a little validation helps. Honestly when I typed the camping one (see above) I started to cry.

I'm sorry PP. That is really hurtful, I can't imagine. This is going to sound stupid but whenever I see a picture of Giselle Bundchen with Tom Brady's son from his ex-girlfriend, I feel so sad for the ex. I can't imagine opening up a publication and seeing my kid having fun with my ex's new wife.

Aw, this is really sad. I agree with the others. That's really shitty of your ex to allow it.


I know two people who have divorced when their child was 1.5 years old, one of them is the cousin of my husband. His ex wife immediately started dating someone else and plastered TONS of pictures of their 2 year old all over the place on FB. A year or so lather, cousin-in-law gets a girlfriend, but although it seems clear his GF hangs out with his son sometimes, there are no pictures.

Guess who comes across as classier? It is completely tacky and disrespectful that he's doing this, and that his fucking girlfriend is posting pictures of them playing house with your kids. UGH. But, please take cold comfort in knowing two things:

1. Chances are pretty good he'll turn it off eventually and stop trying to impress the new girlfriend
2. Chances are good that most of your mutual friends, even if they remain friends with him, are definitely going to think "yuck" about those pictures, too. Too soon, you know?

Anyway, sorry that's happening to you, but I think I'm not sorry you're free of such a cad. Someone better is out there.

I totally agree with the PP. The ex and the GF definitely have no class and there is DEFINITELY someone better for you out there. Hugs to you!

[Anonymous]

Why is everybody jumping all over the new girlfriend who posted FB pics of taking the kids out? It's the husband that looks bad for being such a non-involved dick during the marriage and then doing dad-stuff with the new girlfriend, but maybe the new girlfriend doesn't know how he behaved in his marriage. Maybe in her mind she's just trying to be active in the kids' lives and do activities with them when they're with her and the dad. The ex definitely comes off looking bad in that scenario, but the new girlfriend, although she unintentionally hurt the wife's feelings with the pictures, seems like she was just trying to be involved with the kids.

I know it's painful to see your children with your ex's new girlfriend or wife, but I always wonder, would you prefer the alternative of having the new woman hate them and resent their presence and never do anything with them? Your ex will eventually move on, so if it's with someone who appears to give even a tiny shit about the kids, I still think that's way better than the new girlfriend or wife who would rather pretend they don't exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok so please enlighten me. I've never been interested in fb, don't accept invitations to join FB or google talk or whatever it is and I don't feel like I'm missing out. I figure the people who really matter in my life will just email their pics to me directly, call me up etc.

So why not just walk away from it?

I think the bolded bit is all that's really needed. Why are you here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everybody jumping all over the new girlfriend who posted FB pics of taking the kids out? It's the husband that looks bad for being such a non-involved dick during the marriage and then doing dad-stuff with the new girlfriend, but maybe the new girlfriend doesn't know how he behaved in his marriage. Maybe in her mind she's just trying to be active in the kids' lives and do activities with them when they're with her and the dad. The ex definitely comes off looking bad in that scenario, but the new girlfriend, although she unintentionally hurt the wife's feelings with the pictures, seems like she was just trying to be involved with the kids.

I know it's painful to see your children with your ex's new girlfriend or wife, but I always wonder, would you prefer the alternative of having the new woman hate them and resent their presence and never do anything with them? Your ex will eventually move on, so if it's with someone who appears to give even a tiny shit about the kids, I still think that's way better than the new girlfriend or wife who would rather pretend they don't exist.

I am the poster who had this happen to me. I have had the same thoughts about it that you articulate here. Putting myself in her shoes, I could see me doing this - before. Now that I have lived this, I hope I have learned NOT to do this - not to post pics of some other woman's babies all over FB. Granted she had the permission of their other parent. But knowing now how painful it was, I would not do the same in that situation. I'd wait until at least I had a relationship with the kids and/or ask the mom, if civility is possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so please enlighten me. I've never been interested in fb, don't accept invitations to join FB or google talk or whatever it is and I don't feel like I'm missing out. I figure the people who really matter in my life will just email their pics to me directly, call me up etc.

So why not just walk away from it?

Because people use FB so much that those who don't are really out of the loop.

I killed my account two years ago and never looked back. I still have friends with whom I communicate on a daily or weekly basis .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everybody jumping all over the new girlfriend who posted FB pics of taking the kids out? It's the husband that looks bad for being such a non-involved dick during the marriage and then doing dad-stuff with the new girlfriend, but maybe the new girlfriend doesn't know how he behaved in his marriage. Maybe in her mind she's just trying to be active in the kids' lives and do activities with them when they're with her and the dad. The ex definitely comes off looking bad in that scenario, but the new girlfriend, although she unintentionally hurt the wife's feelings with the pictures, seems like she was just trying to be involved with the kids.

I know it's painful to see your children with your ex's new girlfriend or wife, but I always wonder, would you prefer the alternative of having the new woman hate them and resent their presence and never do anything with them? Your ex will eventually move on, so if it's with someone who appears to give even a tiny shit about the kids, I still think that's way better than the new girlfriend or wife who would rather pretend they don't exist.

She is, at best, clueless for unabashedly posting pictures of the kids on facebook, and at worst, a douche. She can be plenty active in their lives, by why does she need to publicize it? Like I said, at best she is clueless, and at worst she is a douche.

However, I am a whack job who doesn't like to post/tag pictures of anyone on facebook, which seems to be outside of the norm, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I'm pretty private about my online life and extend the same courtesy to others. I figure if they want to post a picture of themselves on fb, they will. It's not up to me to broadcast the lives of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everybody jumping all over the new girlfriend who posted FB pics of taking the kids out? It's the husband that looks bad for being such a non-involved dick during the marriage and then doing dad-stuff with the new girlfriend, but maybe the new girlfriend doesn't know how he behaved in his marriage. Maybe in her mind she's just trying to be active in the kids' lives and do activities with them when they're with her and the dad. The ex definitely comes off looking bad in that scenario, but the new girlfriend, although she unintentionally hurt the wife's feelings with the pictures, seems like she was just trying to be involved with the kids.

I know it's painful to see your children with your ex's new girlfriend or wife, but I always wonder, would you prefer the alternative of having the new woman hate them and resent their presence and never do anything with them? Your ex will eventually move on, so if it's with someone who appears to give even a tiny shit about the kids, I still think that's way better than the new girlfriend or wife who would rather pretend they don't exist.

I am the poster who had this happen to me. I have had the same thoughts about it that you articulate here. Putting myself in her shoes, I could see me doing this - before. Now that I have lived this, I hope I have learned NOT to do this - not to post pics of some other woman's babies all over FB. Granted she had the permission of their other parent. But knowing now how painful it was, I would not do the same in that situation. I'd wait until at least I had a relationship with the kids and/or ask the mom, if civility is possible.

i agree with you. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to think "hey, maybe it's poor form to post pics of someone else's kids, especially the kids of my boyfriend and his ex."